永别了,武器(英文版)海明威著-第38部分

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〃No。　I　feel　splendid。〃
〃It　isn't　a　long　ride。〃
〃I　like　the　ride；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　worry　about　me；　darling。　I　feel　fine。〃
Snow　did　not　e　until　three　days　before　Christmas。　We　woke　one　morning　and　it　was　snowing。　We　stayed　in　bed　with　the　fire　roaring　in　the　stove　and　watched　the　snow　fall。　Mrs。　Guttingen　took　away　the　breakfast　trays　and　put　more　wood　in　the　stove。　It　was　a　big　snow　storm。　She　said　it　had　started　about　midnight。　I　went　to　the　window　and　looked　out　but　could　not　see　across　the　road。　It　was　blowing　and　snowing　wildly。　I　went　back　to　bed　and　we　lay　and　talked。
〃I　wish　I　could　ski；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It's　rotten　not　to　be　able　to　ski。〃
〃We'll　get　a　bobsled　and　e　down　the　road。　That's　no　worse　for　you　than　riding　in　a　car。〃
〃Won't　it　be　rough？〃
〃We　can　see。〃
〃I　hope　it　won't　be　too　rough。〃
〃After　a　while　we'll　take　a　walk　in　the　snow。〃
〃Before　lunch；〃　Catherine　said；　〃so　we'll　have　a　good　appetite。〃
〃I'm　always　hungry。〃
〃So　am　I。〃
We　went　out　in　the　snow　but　it　was　drifted　so　that　we　could　not　walk　far。　I　went　ahead　and　made　a　trail　down　to　the　station　but　when　we　reached　there　we　had　gone　far　enough。　The　snow　was　blowing　so　we　could　hardly　see　and　we　went　into　the　little　inn　by　the　station　and　swept　each　other　off　with　a　broom　and　sat　on　a　bench　and　had　vermouths。
〃It　is　a　big　storm；〃　the　barmaid　said。
〃Yes。〃
〃The　snow　is　very　late　this　year。〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Could　I　eat　a　chocolate　bar？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃Or　is　it　too　close　to　lunch？　I'm　always　hungry。〃
〃Go　on　and　eat　one；〃　I　said。
〃I'll　take　one　with　filberts；〃　Catherine　said。
〃They　are　very　good；〃　the　girl　said；　〃I　like　them　the　best。〃
〃I'll　have　another　vermouth；〃　I　said。
When　we　came　out　to　start　back　up　the　road　our　track　was　filled　in　by　the　snow。　There　were　only　faint　indentations　where　the　holes　had　been。　The　snow　blew　in　our　faces　so　we　could　hardly　see。　We　brushed　off　and　went　in　to　have　lunch。　Mr。　Guttingen　served　the　lunch。
〃To…morrow　there　will　be　ski…ing；〃　he　said。　〃Do　you　ski；　Mr。　Henry？〃
〃No。　But　I　want　to　learn。〃
〃You　will　learn　very　easily。　My　boy　will　be　here　for　Christmas　and　he　will　teach　you。〃
〃That's　fine。　When　does　he　e？〃
〃To…morrow　night。〃
When　we　were　sitting　by　the　stove　in　the　little　room　after　lunch　looking　out　the　window　at　the　snow　ing　down　Catherine　said；　〃Wouldn't　you　like　to　go　on　a　trip　somewhere　by　yourself；　darling；　and　be　with　men　and　ski？〃
〃No。　Why　should　I？〃
〃I　should　think　sometimes　you　would　want　to　see　other　people　besides　me。〃
〃Do　you　want　to　see　other　people？〃
〃No。〃
〃Neither　do　I。〃
〃I　know。　But　you're　different。　I'm　having　a　child　and　that　makes　me　contented　not　to　do　anything。　I　know　I'm　awfully　stupid　now　and　I　talk　too　much　and　I　think　you　ought　to　get　away　so　you　won't　be　tired　of　me。〃
〃Do　you　want　me　to　go　away？〃
〃No。　I　want　you　to　stay。〃
〃That's　what　I'm　going　to　do。〃
〃e　over　here；〃　she　said。　〃I　want　to　feel　the　bump　on　your　head。　It's　a　big　bump。〃　She　ran　her　finger　over　it。　〃Darling；　would　you　like　to　grow　a　beard？〃
〃Would　you　like　me　to？〃
〃It　might　be　fun。　I'd　like　to　see　you　with　a　beard。〃
〃All　right。　I'll　grow　one。　I'll　start　now　this　minute。　It's　a　good　idea。　It　will　give　me　something　to　do。〃
〃Are　you　worried　because　you　haven't　anything　to　do？〃
〃No。　I　like　it。　I　have　a　fine　life。　Don't　you？〃
〃I　have　a　lovely　life。　But　I　was　afraid　because　I'm　big　now　that　maybe　I　was　a　bore　to　you。〃
〃Oh；　Cat。　You　don't　know　how　crazy　I　am　about　you。〃
〃This　way？〃
〃Just　the　way　you　are。　I　have　a　fine　time。　Don't　we　have　a　good　life？〃
〃I　do；　but　I　thought　maybe　you　were　restless。〃
〃No。　Sometimes　I　wonder　about　the　front　and　about　people　I　know　but　I　don't　worry。　I　don't　think　about　anything　much。〃
〃Who　do　you　wonder　about？〃
〃About　Rinaldi　and　the　priest　and　lots　of　people　I　know。　But　I　don't　think　about　them　much。　I　don't　want　to　think　about　the　war。　I'm　through　with　it。〃
〃What　are　you　thinking　about　now？〃
〃Nothing。〃
〃Yes　you　were。　Tell　me。〃
〃I　was　wondering　whether　Rinaldi　had　the　syphilis。〃
〃Was　that　all？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Has　he　the　syphilis？〃
〃I　don't　know。〃
〃I'm　glad　you　haven't。　Did　you　ever　have　anything　like　that？〃
〃I　had　gonorrhea。〃
〃I　don't　want　to　hear　about　it。　Was　it　very　painful；　darling？〃
〃Very。〃
〃I　wish　I'd　had　it。〃
〃No　you　don't。〃
〃I　do。　I　wish　I'd　had　it　to　be　like　you。　I　wish　I'd　stayed　with　all　your　girls　so　I　could　make　fun　of　them　to　you。〃
〃That's　a　pretty　picture。〃
〃It's　not　a　pretty　picture　you　having　gonorrhea。〃
〃I　know　it。　Look　at　it　snow　now。〃
〃I'd　rather　look　at　you。　Darling；　why　don't　you　let　your　hair　grow？〃
〃How　grow？〃
〃Just　grow　a　little　longer。〃
〃It's　long　enough　now。〃
〃No；　let　it　grow　a　little　longer　and　I　could　cut　mine　and　we'd　be　just　alike　only　one　of　us　blonde　and　one　of　us　dark。〃
〃I　wouldn't　let　you　cut　yours。〃
〃It　would　be　fun。　I'm　tired　of　it。　It's　an　awful　nuisance　in　the　bed　at　night。〃
〃I　like　it。〃
〃Wouldn't　you　like　it　short？〃
〃I　might。　I　like　it　the　way　it　is。〃
〃It　might　be　nice　short。　Then　we'd　both　be　alike。　Oh；　darling；　I　want　you　so　much　I　want　to　be　you　too。〃
〃You　are。　We're　the　same　one。〃
〃I　know　it。　At　night　we　are。〃
〃The　nights　are　grand。〃
〃I　want　us　to　be　all　mixed　up。　I　don't　want　you　to　go　away。　I　just　said　that。　You　go　if　you　want　to。　But　hurry　right　back。　Why；　darling；　I　don't　live　at　all　when　I'm　not　with　you。〃
〃I　won't　ever　go　away；〃　I　said。　〃I'm　no　good　when　you're　not　there。　I　haven't　any　life　at　all　any　more。〃
〃I　want　you　to　have　a　life。　I　want　you　to　have　a　fine　life。　But　we'll　have　it　together；　won't　we？〃
〃And　now　do　you　want　me　to　stop　growing　my　beard　or　let　it　go　on？〃
〃Go　on。　Grow　it。　It　will　be　exciting。　Maybe　it　will　be　done　for　New　Year's。〃
〃Now　do　you　want　to　play　chess？〃
〃I'd　rather　play　with　you。〃
〃No。　Let's　play　chess。〃
〃And　afterward　we'll　play？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃All　right。〃
I　got　out　the　chess…board　and　arranged　the　pieces。　It　was　still　snowing　hard　outside。
One　time　in　the　night　I　woke　up　and　knew　that　Catherine　was　awake　too。　The　moon　was　shining　in　the　window　and　made　shadows　on　the　bed　from　the　bars　on　the　window…panes。
〃Are　you　awake；　sweetheart？〃
〃Yes。　Can't　you　sleep？〃
〃I　just　woke　up　thinking　about　how　I　was　nearly　crazy　when　I　first　met　you。　Do　you　remember？〃
〃You　were　just　a　little　crazy。〃
〃I'm　never　that　way　any　more。　I'm　grand　now。　You　say　grand　so　sweetly。　Say　grand。〃
〃Grand。〃
〃Oh；　you're　sweet。　And　I'm　not　crazy　now。　I'm　just　very；　very；　very　happy。〃
〃Go　on　to　sleep；〃　I　said。
〃All　right。　Let's　go　to　sleep　at　exactly　the　same　moment。〃
〃All　right。〃
But　we　did　not。　I　was　awake　for　quite　a　long　time　thinking　about　things　and　watching　Catherine　sleeping；　the　moonlight　on　her　face。　Then　I　went　to　sleep；　too。




39


By　the　middle　of　January　I　had　a　beard　and　the　winter　had　settled　into　bright　cold　days　and　hard　cold　nights。　We　could　walk　on　the　roads　again。　The　snow　was　packed　hard　and　smooth　by　the　hay…sleds　and　wood…sledges　and　the　logs　that　were　hauled　down　the　mountain。　The　snow　lay　over　all　the　country；　down　almost　to　Montreux。　The　mountains　on　the　other　side　of　the　lake　were　all　white　and　the　plain　of　the　Rhone　Valley　was　covered。　We　took　long　walks　on　the　other　side　of　the　mountain　to　the　Bains　de　l'Alliaz。　Catherine　wore　hobnailed　boots　and　a　cape　and　carried　a　stick　with　a　sharp　steel　point。　She　did　not　look　big　with　the　cape　and　we　would　not　walk　too　fast　but　stopped　and　sat　on　logs　by　the　roadside　to　rest　when　she　was　tired。
There　was　an　inn　in　the　trees　at　the　Bains　de　l'Alliaz　where　the　woodcutters　stopped　to　drink；　and　we　sat　inside　warmed　by　the　stove　and　drank　hot　red　wine　with　spices　and　lemon　in　it。　They　called　it　gluhwein　and　it　was　a　good　thing　to　warm　you　and　to　celebrate　with。　The　inn　was　dark　and　smoky　inside　and　afterward　when　you　went　out　the　cold　air　came　sharply　into　your　lungs　and　numbed　the　edge　of　your　nose　as　you　inhaled。　We　looked　back　at　the　inn　with　light　ing　from　the　windows　and　the　woodcutters'　horses　stamping　and　jerking　their　heads　outside　to　keep　warm。　There　was　frost　on　the　hairs　of　their　muzzles　and　their　breathing　made　plumes　of　frost　in　the　air。　Going　up　the　road　toward　home　the　road　was　smooth　and　slippery　for　a　while　and　the　ice　orange　from　the　horses　until　the　wood…hauling　track　turned　off。　Then　the　road　was　clean…packed　snow　and　led　through　the　woods；　and　twice　ing　home　in　the　evening；　we　saw　foxes。
It　was　a　fine　country　and　every　time　that　we　went　out　it　was　fun。
〃You　have　a　splendid　beard　now；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It　looks　just　like　the　woodcutters'。　Did　you　see　the　man　with　the　tiny　gold　earrings？〃
〃He's　a　chamois　hunter；〃　I　said。　〃They　wear　them　because　they　say　it　makes　them　hear　better。〃
〃Really？　I　don't　believe　it。　I　think　they　wear　them　to　show　they　are　chamois　hunters。　Are　there　chamois　near　here？〃
〃Yes；　beyond　the　Dent　de　Jaman。〃
〃It　was　fun　seeing　the　fox。〃
〃When　he　sleeps　he　wraps　that　tail　around　him　to　keep　warm。〃
〃It　must　be　a　lovely　feeling。〃
〃I　always　wanted　to　have　a　tail　like　that。　Wouldn't　it　be　fun　if　we　had　brushes　like　a　fox？〃
〃It　might　be　very　difficult　dressing。〃
〃We'd　have　clothes　made；　or　live　in　a　country　where　it　wouldn't　make　any　difference。〃
〃We　live　in　a　country　where　nothing　makes　any　difference。　Isn't　it　grand　how　we　never　see　any　one？　You　don't　want　to　see　people　do　you；　darling？〃
〃No。〃
〃Should　we　sit　here　just　a　minute？　I'm　a　little　bit　tired。〃
We　sat　close　together　on　the　logs。　Ahead　the　road　went　down　through　the　forest。
〃She　won't　e　between　us；　will　she？　The　little　brat。〃
〃No。　We　won't　let　her。〃
〃How　are　we　for　money？〃
〃We　have　plenty。　They　honored　the　last　sight　draft。〃
〃Won't　your　family　try　and　get　hold　of　you　now　they　know　you're　in　Switzerland？〃
〃Probably。　I'll　write　them　something。〃
〃Haven't　you　written　them？〃
〃No。　Only　the　sight　draft。〃
〃Thank　God　I'm　not　your　family。〃
〃I'll　send　them　a　cable。〃
〃Don't　you　care　anything　about　them？〃
〃I　did；　but　we　quarrelled　so　much　it　wore　itself　out。〃
〃I　think　I'd　like　them。　I'd　probably　like　them　very　much。〃
〃Let's　not　talk　about　them　or　I'll　start　to　worry　about　them。〃　After　a　while　I　said；　〃Let's　go　on　if　you're　rested。〃
〃I'm　rested。〃
We　went　on　down　the　road。　It　was　dark　now　and　the　snow　squeaked　under　our　boots。　The　night　was　dry　and　cold　and　very　clear。
〃I　love　your　beard；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It's　a　great　success。　It　looks　so　stiff　and　fierce　and　it's　very　soft　and　a　great　pleasure。〃
〃Do　you　like　it　better　than　without？〃
〃I　think　so。　You　know；　darling；　I'm　not　going　to　cut　my　hair　now　until　after　young　Catherine's　born。　I　look　too　big　and　matronly　now。　But　after　she's　born　and　I'm　thin　again　I'm　going　to　cut　it　and　then　I'll　be　a　fine　new　and　different　girl　for　you。　We'll　go　together　and　get　it　cut；　or　I'll　go　alone　and　e　and　surprise　you。〃
I　did　not　say　anything。
〃You　won't　say　I　can't；　will　you？〃
〃No。　I　think　it　would　be　exciting。〃
〃Oh；　you're　so　sweet。　And　maybe　I'd　look　lovely；　darling；　and　be　so　thin　and　exciting　to　you　and　you'll　fall　in　love　with　me　all　over　again。〃
〃Hell；〃　I　said；　〃I　love　you　enough　now。　What　do　you　want　to　do？　Ruin　me？〃
〃Yes。　I　want　to　ruin　you。〃
〃Good；〃　I　said；　〃that's　what　I　want　too。〃




40


We　had　a　fine　life。　We　li