永别了,武器(英文版)海明威著-第19部分

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Miss　Van　Campen　ignored　the　actual　question。　She　had　to　ignore　it　or　leave　the　room。　She　was　not　ready　to　leave　because　she　had　disliked　me　for　a　long　time　and　she　was　now　cashing　in。
〃I　have　known　many　men　to　escape　the　front　through　self…inflicted　wounds。〃
〃That　wasn't　the　question。　I　have　seen　self…inflicted　wounds　also。　I　asked　you　if　you　had　ever　known　a　man　who　had　tried　to　disable　himself　by　kicking　himself　in　the　scrotum。　Because　that　is　the　nearest　sensation　to　jaundice　and　it　is　a　sensation　that　I　believe　few　women　have　ever　experienced。　That　was　why　I　asked　you　if　you　had　ever　had　the　jaundice；　Miss　Van　Campen；　because……〃　Miss　Van　Campen　left　the　room。　Later　Miss　Gage　came　in。
〃What　did　you　say　to　Van　Campen？　She　was　furious。〃
〃We　were　paring　sensations。　I　was　going　to　suggest　that　she　had　never　experienced　childbirth……〃
〃You're　a　fool；〃　Gage　said。　〃She's　after　your　scalp。〃
〃She　has　my　scalp；〃　I　said。　〃She's　lost　me　my　leave　and　she　might　try　and　get　me　court…martialled。　She's　mean　enough。〃
〃She　never　liked　you；〃　Gage　said。　〃What's　it　about？〃
〃She　says　I've　drunk　myself　into　jaundice　so　as　not　to　go　back　to　the　front。〃
〃Pooh；〃　said　Gage。　〃I'll　swear　you've　never　taken　a　drink。　Everybody　will　swear　you've　never　taken　a　drink。〃
〃She　found　the　bottles。〃
〃I've　told　you　a　hundred　times　to　clear　out　those　bottles。　Where　are　they　now？〃
〃In　the　armoire。〃
〃Have　you　a　suitcase？〃
〃No。　Put　them　in　that　rucksack。〃
Miss　Gage　packed　the　bottles　in　the　rucksack。　〃I'll　give　them　to　the　porter；〃　she　said。　She　started　for　the　door。
〃Just　a　minute；〃　Miss　Van　Campen　said。　〃I'll　take　those　bottles。〃　She　had　the　porter　with　her。　〃Carry　them；　please；〃　she　said。　〃I　want　to　show　them　to　the　doctor　when　I　make　my　report。〃
She　went　down　the　hall。　The　porter　carried　the　sack。　He　knew　what　was　in　it。
Nothing　happened　except　that　I　lost　my　leave。




23


The　night　I　was　to　return　to　the　front　I　sent　the　porter　down　to　hold　a　seat　for　me　on　the　train　when　it　came　from　Turin。　The　train　was　to　leave　at　midnight。　It　was　made　up　at　Turin　and　reached　Milan　about　half…past　ten　at　night　and　lay　in　the　station　until　time　to　leave。　You　had　to　be　there　when　it　came　in；　to　get　a　seat。　The　porter　took　a　friend　with　him；　a　machine…gunner　on　leave　who　worked　in　a　tailor　shop；　and　was　sure　that　between　them　they　could　hold　a　place。　I　gave　them　money　for　platform　tickets　and　had　them　take　my　baggage。　There　was　a　big　rucksack　and　two　musettes。
I　said　good…by　at　the　hospital　at　about　five　o'clock　and　went　out。　The　porter　had　my　baggage　in　his　lodge　and　I　told　him　I　would　be　at　the　station　a　little　before　midnight。　His　wife　called　me　〃Signorino〃　and　cried。　She　wiped　her　eyes　and　shook　hands　and　then　cried　again。　I　patted　her　on　the　back　and　she　cried　once　more。　She　had　done　my　mending　and　was　a　very　short　dumpy；　happy…faced　woman　with　white　hair。　When　she　cried　her　whole　face　went　to　pieces。　I　went　down　to　the　corner　where　there　was　a　wine　shop　and　waited　inside　looking　out　the　window。　It　was　dark　outside　and　cold　and　misty。　I　paid　for　my　coffee　and　grappa　and　I　watched　the　people　going　by　in　the　light　from　the　window。　I　saw　Catherine　and　knocked　on　the　window。　She　looked；　saw　me　and　smiled；　and　I　went　out　to　meet　her。　She　was　wearing　a　dark　blue　cape　and　a　soft　felt　hat。　We　walked　along　together；　along　the　sidewalk　past　the　wine　shops；　then　across　the　market　square　and　up　the　street　and　through　the　archway　to　the　cathedral　square。　There　were　streetcar　tracks　and　beyond　them　was　the　cathedral。　It　was　white　and　wet　in　the　mist。　We　crossed　the　tram　tracks。　On　our　left　were　the　shops；　their　windows　lighted；　and　the　entrance　to　the　galleria。　There　was　a　fog　in　the　square　and　when　we　came　close　to　the　front　of　the　cathedral　it　was　very　big　and　the　stone　was　wet。
〃Would　you　like　to　go　in？〃
〃No；〃　Catherine　said。　We　walked　along。　There　was　a　soldier　standing　with　his　girl　in　the　shadow　of　one　of　the　stone　buttresses　ahead　of　us　and　we　passed　them。　They　were　standing　tight　up　against　the　stone　and　he　had　put　his　cape　around　her。
〃They're　like　us；〃　I　said。
〃Nobody　is　like　us；〃　Catherine　said。　She　did　not　mean　it　happily。
〃I　wish　they　had　some　place　to　go。〃
〃It　mightn't　do　them　any　good。〃
〃I　don't　know。　Everybody　ought　to　have　some　place　to　go。〃
〃They　have　the　cathedral；〃　Catherine　said。　We　were　past　it　now。　We　crossed　the　far　end　of　the　square　and　looked　back　at　the　cathedral。　It　was　fine　in　the　mist。　We　were　standing　in　front　of　the　leather　goods　shop。　There　were　riding　boots；　a　rucksack　and　ski　boots　in　the　window。　Each　article　was　set　apart　as　an　exhibit；　the　rucksack　in　the　centre；　the　riding　boots　on　one　side　and　the　ski　boots　on　the　other。　The　leather　was　dark　and　oiled　smooth　as　a　used　saddle。　The　electric　light　made　high　lights　on　the　dull　oiled　leather。
〃We'll　ski　some　time。〃
〃In　two　months　there　will　be　ski…ing　at　Mflrren；〃　Catherine　said。
〃Let's　go　there。〃
〃All　right；〃　she　said。　We　went　on　past　other　windows　and　turned　down　a　side　street。
〃I've　never　been　this　way。〃
〃This　is　the　way　I　go　to　the　hospital；〃　I　said。　It　was　a　narrow　street　and　we　kept　on　the　right…hand　side。　There　were　many　people　passing　in　the　fog。　There　were　shops　and　all　the　windows　were　lighted。　We　looked　in　a　window　at　a　pile　of　cheeses。　I　stopped　in　front　of　an　armorer's　shop。
〃e　in　a　minute。　I　have　to　buy　a　gun。〃
〃What　sort　of　gun？〃
〃A　pistol。〃　We　went　in　and　I　unbuttoned　my　belt　and　laid　it　with　the　emply　holster　on　the　counter。　Two　women　were　behind　the　counter。　The　women　brought　out　several　pistols。
〃It　must　fit　this；〃　I　said；　opening　the　holster。　It　was　a　gray　leather　holster　and　I　had　bought　it　second…hand　to　wear　in　the　town。
〃Have　they　good　pistols？〃　Catherine　asked。
〃They're　all　about　the　same。　Can　I　try　this　one？〃　I　asked　the　woman。
〃I　have　no　place　now　to　shoot；〃　she　said。　〃But　it　is　very　good。　You　will　not　make　a　mistake　with　it。〃
I　snapped　it　and　pulled　back　the　action。　The　spring　was　rather　strong　but　it　worked　smoothly。　I　sighted　it　and　snapped　it　again。
〃It　is　used；〃　the　woman　said。　〃It　belonged　to　an　officer　who　was　an　excellent　shot。〃
〃Did　you　sell　it　to　him？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃How　did　you　get　it　back？〃
〃From　his　orderly。〃
〃Maybe　you　have　mine；〃　I　said。　〃How　much　is　this？〃
〃Fifty　lire。　It　is　very　cheap。〃
〃All　right。　I　want　two　extra　clips　and　a　box　of　cartridges。〃
She　brought　them　from　under　the　counter。
〃Have　you　any　need　for　a　sword？〃　she　asked。　〃I　have　some　used　swords　very　cheap。〃
〃I'm　going　to　the　front；〃　I　said。
〃Oh　yes；　then　you　won't　need　a　sword；〃　she　said。
I　paid　for　the　cartridges　and　the　pistol；　filled　the　magazine　and　put　it　in　place；　put　the　pistol　in　my　empty　holster；　filled　the　extra　clips　with　cartridges　and　put　them　in　the　leather　slots　on　the　holster　and　then　buckled　on　my　belt。　The　pistol　felt　heavy　on　the　belt。　Still；　I　thought；　it　was　better　to　have　a　regulation　pistol。　You　could　always　get　shells。
〃Now　we're　fully　armed；〃　I　said。　〃That　was　the　one　thing　I　had　to　remember　to　do。　Some　one　got　my　other　one　going　to　the　hospital。〃
〃I　hope　it's　a　good　pistol；〃　Catherine　said。
〃Was　there　anything　else？〃　the　woman　asked。
〃I　don't　believe　so。〃
〃The　pistol　has　a　lanyard；〃　she　said。
〃So　I　noticed。〃
The　woman　wanted　to　sell　something　else。
〃You　don't　need　a　whistle？〃
〃I　don't　believe　so。〃
The　woman　said　good…by　and　we　went　out　onto　the　sidewalk。　Catherine　looked　in　the　window。　The　woman　looked　out　and　bowed　to　us。
〃What　are　those　little　mirrors　set　in　wood　for？〃
〃They're　for　attracting　birds。　They　twirl　them　out　in　the　field　and　larks　see　them　and　e　out　and　the　Italians　shoot　them。〃
〃They　are　an　ingenious　people；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　don't　shoot　larks　do　you；　darling；　in　America？〃
〃Not　especially。〃
We　crossed　the　street　and　started　to　walk　up　the　other　side。
〃I　feel　better　now；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　felt　terrible　when　we　started。〃
〃We　always　feel　good　when　we're　together。〃
〃We　always　will　be　together。〃
〃Yes；　except　that　I'm　going　away　at　midnight。〃
〃Don't　think　about　it；　darling。〃
We　walked　on　up　the　street。　The　fog　made　the　lights　yellow。
〃Aren't　you　tired？〃　Catherine　asked。
〃How　about　you？〃
〃I'm　all　right。　It's　fun　to　walk。〃
〃But　let's　not　do　it　too　long。〃
〃No。〃
We　turned　down　a　side　street　where　there　were　no　lights　and　walked　in　the　street。　I　stopped　and　kissed　Catherine。　While　I　kissed　her　I　felt　her　hand　on　my　shoulder。　She　had　pulled　my　cape　around　her　so　it　covered　both　of　us。　We　were　standing　in　the　street　against　a　high　wall。
〃Let's　go　some　place；〃　I　said。
〃Good；〃　said　Catherine。　We　walked　on　along　the　street　until　it　came　out　onto　a　wider　street　that　was　beside　a　canal。　On　the　other　side　was　a　brick　wall　and　buildings。　Ahead；　down　the　street；　I　saw　a　streetcar　cross　a　bridge。
〃We　can　get　a　cab　up　at　the　bridge；〃　I　said。　We　stood　on　the　bridge　in　the　fog　waiting　for　a　carriage。　Several　streetcars　passed；　full　of　people　going　home。　Then　a　carriage　came　along　but　there　was　some　one　in　it。　The　fog　was　turning　to　rain。
〃We　could　walk　or　take　a　tram；〃　Catherine　said。
〃One　will　be　along；〃　I　said。　〃They　go　by　here。〃
〃Here　one　es；〃　she　said。
The　driver　stopped　his　horse　and　lowered　the　metal　sign　on　his　meter。　The　top　of　the　carriage　was　up　and　there　were　drops　of　water　on　the　driver's　coat。　His　varnished　hat　was　shining　in　the　wet。　We　sat　back　in　the　seat　together　and　the　top　of　the　carriage　made　it　dark。
〃Where　did　you　tell　him　to　go？〃
〃To　the　station。　There's　a　hotel　across　from　the　station　where　we　can　go。〃
〃We　can　go　the　way　we　are？　Without　luggage？〃
〃Yes；〃　I　said。
It　was　a　long　ride　to　the　station　up　side　streets　in　the　rain。
〃Won't　we　have　dinner？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃I'm　afraid　I'll　be　hungry。〃
〃We'll　have　it　in　our　room。〃
〃I　haven't　anything　to　wear。　I　haven't　even　a　night…gown。〃
〃We'll　get　one；〃　I　said　and　called　to　the　driver。
〃Go　to　the　Via　Manzoni　and　up　that。〃　He　nodded　and　turned　off　to　the　left　at　the　next　corner。　On　the　big　street　Catherine　watched　for　a　shop。
〃Here's　a　place；〃　she　said。　I　stopped　the　driver　and　Catherine　got　out；　walked　across　the　sidewalk　and　went　inside。　I　sat　back　in　the　carriage　and　waited　for　her。　It　was　raining　and　I　could　smell　the　wet　street　and　the　horse　steaming　in　the　rain。　She　came　back　with　a　package　and　got　in　and　we　drove　on。
〃I　was　very　extravagant；　darling；〃　she　said；　〃but　it's　a　fine　night…gown。〃
At　the　hotel　I　asked　Catherine　to　wait　in　the　carriage　while　I　went　in　and　spoke　to　the　manager。　There　were　plenty　of　rooms。　Then　I　went　out　to　the　carriage；　paid　the　driver；　and　Catherine　and　I　walked　in　together。　The　small　boy　in　buttons　carried　the　package。
The　manager　bowed　us　toward　the　elevator。　There　was　much　red　plush　and　brass。　The　manager　went　up　in　the　elevator　with　us。
〃Monsieur　and　Madame　wish　dinner　in　their　rooms？〃
〃Yes。　Will　you　have　the　menu　brought　up？〃　I　said。
〃You　wish　something　special　for　dinner。　Some　game　or　a　souffl？〃
The　elevator　passed　three　floors　with　a　click　each　time；　then　clicked　and　stopped。
〃What　have　you　as　game？〃
〃I　could　get　a　pheasant；　or　a　woodcock。〃
〃A　woodcock；〃　I　said。　We　walked　down　the　corridor。　The　carpet　was　worn。　There　were　many　doors。　The　manager　stopped　and　unlocked　a　door　and　o