永别了,武器(英文版)海明威著-第15部分

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e　would　be　lying　together　and　I　would　touch　her　cheeks　and　her　forehead　and　under　her　eyes　and　her　chin　and　throat　with　the　tips　of　my　fingers　and　say；　〃Smooth　as　piano　keys；〃　and　she　would　stroke　my　chin　with　her　finger　and　say；　〃Smooth　as　emery　paper　and　very　hard　on　piano　keys。〃
〃Is　it　rough？〃
〃No；　darling。　I　was　just　making　fun　of　you。〃
It　was　lovely　in　the　nights　and　if　we　could　only　touch　each　other　we　were　happy。　Besides　all　the　big　times　we　had　many　small　ways　of　making　love　and　we　tried　putting　thoughts　in　the　other　one's　head　while　we　were　in　different　rooms。　It　seemed　to　work　sometimes　but　that　was　probably　because　we　were　thinking　the　same　thing　anyway。
We　said　to　each　other　that　we　were　married　the　first　day　she　had　e　to　the　hospital　and　we　counted　months　from　our　wedding　day。　I　wanted　to　be　really　married　but　Catherine　said　that　if　we　were　they　would　send　her　away　and　if　we　merely　started　on　the　formalities　they　would　watch　her　and　would　break　us　up。　We　would　have　to　be　married　under　Italian　law　and　the　formalities　were　terrific。　I　wanted　us　to　be　married　really　because　I　worried　about　having　a　child　if　I　thought　about　it；　but　we　pretended　to　ourselves　we　were　married　and　did　not　worry　much　and　I　suppose　I　enjoyed　not　being　married；　really。　I　know　one　night　we　talked　about　it　and　Catherine　said；　〃But；　darling；　they'd　send　me　away。〃
〃Maybe　they　wouldn't。〃
〃They　would。　They'd　send　me　home　and　then　we　would　he　apart　until　after　the　war。〃
〃I'd　e　on　leave。〃
〃You　couldn't　get　to　Scotland　and　back　on　a　leave。　Besides；　I　won't　leave　you。　What　good　would　it　do　to　marry　now？　We're　really　married。　I　couldn't　be　any　more　married。〃
〃I　only　wanted　to　for　you。〃
〃There　isn't　any　me。　I'm　you。　Don't　make　up　a　separate　me。〃
〃I　thought　girls　always　wanted　to　be　married。〃
〃They　do。　But；　darling；　I　am　married。　I'm　married　to　you。　Don't　I　make　you　a　good　wife？〃
〃You're　a　lovely　wife。〃
〃You　see；　darling；　I　had　one　experience　of　waiting　to　be　married。〃
〃I　don't　want　to　hear　about　it。〃
〃You　know　I　don't　love　any　one　but　you。　You　shouldn't　mind　because　some　one　else　loved　me。〃
〃I　do。〃
〃You　shouldn't　be　jealous　of　some　one　who's　dead　when　you　have　everything。〃
〃No；　but　I　don't　want　to　hear　about　it。〃
〃Poor　darling。　And　I　know　you've　been　with　all　kinds　of　girls　and　it　doesn't　matter　to　me。〃
〃Couldn't　we　be　married　privately　some　way？　Then　if　anything　happened　to　me　or　if　you　had　a　child。〃
〃There's　no　way　to　be　married　except　by　church　or　state。　We　are　married　privately。　You　see；　darling；　it　would　mean　everything　to　me　if　I　had　any　religion。　But　I　haven't　any　religion。〃
〃You　gave　me　the　Saint　Anthony。〃
〃That　was　for　luck。　Some　one　gave　it　to　me。〃
〃Then　nothing　worries　you？〃
〃Only　being　sent　away　from　you。　You're　my　religion。　You're　all　I've　got。〃
〃All　right。　But　I'll　marry　you　the　day　you　say。〃
〃Don't　talk　as　though　you　had　to　make　an　honest　woman　of　me；　darling。　I'm　a　very　honest　woman。　You　can't　be　ashamed　of　something　if　you're　only　happy　and　proud　of　it。　Aren't　you　happy？〃
〃But　you　won't　ever　leave　me　for　some　one　else。〃
〃No；　darling。　I　won't　ever　leave　you　for　some　one　else。　I　suppose　all　sorts　of　dreadful　things　will　happen　to　us。　But　you　don't　have　to　worry　about　that。〃
〃I　don't。　But　I　love　you　so　much　and　you　did　love　some　one　else　before。〃
〃And　what　happened　to　him？〃
〃He　died。〃
〃Yes　and　if　he　hadn't　I　wouldn't　have　met　you。　I'm　not　unfaithful；　darling。　I've　plenty　of　faults　but　I'm　very　faithful。　You'll　be　sick　of　me　I'll　be　so　faithful。〃
〃I'll　have　to　go　back　to　the　front　pretty　soon。〃
〃We　won't　think　about　that　until　you　go。　You　see　I'm　happy；　darling；　and　we　have　a　lovely　time。　I　haven't　been　happy　for　a　long　time　and　when　I　met　you　perhaps　I　was　nearly　crazy。　Perhaps　I　was　crazy。　But　now　we're　happy　and　we　love　each　other。　Do　let's　please　just　be　happy。　You　are　happy；　aren't　you？　Is　there　anything　I　do　you　don't　like？　Can　I　do　anything　to　please　you？　Would　you　like　me　to　take　down　my　hair？　Do　you　want　to　play？〃
〃Yes　and　e　to　bed。〃
〃All　right。　I'll　go　and　see　the　patients　first。〃




19


The　summer　went　that　way。　I　do　not　remember　much　about　the　days；　except　that　they　were　hot　and　that　there　were　many　victories　in　the　papers。　I　was　very　healthy　and　my　legs　healed　quickly　so　that　it　was　not　very　long　after　I　was　first　on　crutches　before　I　was　through　with　them　and　walking　with　a　cane。　Then　I　started　treatments　at　the　Ospedale　Maggiore　for　bending　the　knees；　mechanical　treatments；　baking　in　a　box　of　mirrors　with　violet　rays；　massage；　and　baths。　I　went　over　there　afternoons　and　afterward　stopped　at　the　caf？and　had　a　drink　and　read　the　papers。　I　did　not　roam　around　the　town；　but　wanted　to　get　home　to　the　hospital　from　the　caf？　All　I　wanted　was　to　see　Catherine。　The　rest　of　the　time　I　was　glad　to　kill。　Mostly　I　slept　in　the　mornings；　and　in　the　afternoons；　sometimes；　I　went　to　the　races；　and　late　to　the　mechanotherapy　treatments。　Sometimes　I　stopped　in　at　the　AngloAmerican　Club　and　sat　in　a　deep　leather…cushioned　chair　in　front　of　the　window　and　read　the　magazines。　They　would　not　let　us　go　out　together　when　I　was　off　crutches　because　it　was　unseemly　for　a　nurse　to　be　seen　unchaperoned　with　a　patient　who　did　not　look　as　though　he　needed　attendance；　so　we　were　not　together　much　in　the　afternoons。　Although　sometimes　we　could　go　out　to　dinner　if　Ferguson　went　along。　Miss　Van　Campen　had　accepted　the　status　that　we　were　great　friends　because　she　got　a　great　amount　of　work　out　of　Catherine。　She　thought　Catherine　came　from　very　good　people　and　that　prejudiced　her　in　her　favor　finally。　Miss　Van　Campen　admired　family　very　much　and　came　from　an　excellent　family　herself。　The　hospital　was　quite　busy；　too；　and　that　kept　her　occupied。　It　was　a　hot　summer　and　I　knew　many　people　in　Milan　but　always　was　anxious　to　get　back　home　to　the　hospital　as　soon　as　the　afternoon　was　over。　At　the　front　they　were　advancing　on　the　Carso；　they　had　taken　Kuk　across　from　Plava　and　were　taking　the　Bainsizza　plateau。　The　West　front　did　not　sound　so　good。　It　looked　as　though　the　war　were　going　on　for　a　long　time。　We　were　in　the　war　now　but　I　thought　it　would　take　a　year　to　get　any　great　amount　of　troops　over　and　train　them　for　bat。　Next　year　would　be　a　bad　year；　or　a　good　year　maybe。　The　Italians　were　using　up　an　awful　amount　of　men。　I　did　not　see　how　it　could　go　on。　Even　if　they　took　all　the　Bainsizza　and　Monte　San　Gabriele　there　were　plenty　of　mountains　beyond　for　the　Austrians。　I　had　seen　them。　All　the　highest　mountains　were　beyond。　On　the　Carso　they　were　going　forward　but　there　were　marshes　and　swamps　down　by　the　sea。　Napoleon　would　have　whipped　the　Austrians　on　the　plains。　He　never　would　have　fought　them　in　the　mountains。　He　would　have　let　them　e　down　and　whipped　them　around　Verona。　Still　nobody　was　whipping　any　one　on　the　Western　front。　Perhaps　wars　weren't　won　any　more。　Maybe　they　went　on　forever。　Maybe　it　was　another　Hundred　Years'　War。　I　put　the　paper　back　on　the　rack　and　left　the　club。　I　went　down　the　steps　carefully　and　walked　up　the　Via　Manzoni。　Outside　the　Gran　Hotel　I　met　old　Meyers　and　his　wife　getting　out　of　a　carriage。　They　were　ing　back　from　the　races。　She　was　a　big…busted　woman　in　black　satin。　He　was　short　and　old；　with　a　white　mustache　and　walked　flat…footed　with　a　cane。
〃How　do　you　do？　How　do　you　do？〃　She　shook　hands。　〃Hello；〃　said　Meyers。
〃How　were　the　races？〃
〃Fine。　They　were　just　lovely。　I　had　three　winners。〃
〃How　did　you　do？〃　I　asked　Meyers。
〃All　right。　I　had　a　winner。〃
〃I　never　know　how　he　does；〃　Mrs。　Meyers　said。　〃He　never　tells　me。〃
〃I　do　all　right；〃　Meyers　said。　He　was　being　cordial。　〃You　ought　to　e　out。〃　While　he　talked　you　had　the　impression　that　he　was　not　looking　at　you　or　that　he　mistook　you　for　some　one　else。
〃I　will；〃　I　said。
〃I'm　ing　up　to　the　hospital　to　see　you；〃　Mrs。　Meyers　said。　〃I　have　some　things　for　my　boys。　You're　all　my　boys。　You　certainly　are　my　dear　boys。〃
〃They'll　be　glad　to　see　you。〃
〃Those　dear　boys。　You　too。　You're　one　of　my　boys。〃
〃I　have　to　get　back；〃　I　said。
〃You　give　my　love　to　all　those　dear　boys。　I've　got　lots　of　things　to　bring。　I've　some　fine　marsala　and　cakes。〃
〃Good…by；〃　I　said。　〃They'll　be　awfully　glad　to　see　you。〃
〃Good…by；〃　said　Meyers。　〃You　e　around　to　the　galleria。　You　know　where　my　table　is。　We're　all　there　every　afternoon。〃　I　went　on　up　the　street。　I　wanted　to　buy　something　at　the　Cova　to　take　to　Catherine。　Inside；　at　the　Cova；　I　bought　a　box　of　chocolate　and　while　the　girl　wrapped　it　up　I　walked　over　to　the　bar。　There　were　a　couple　of　British　and　some　aviators。　I　had　a　martini　alone；　paid　for　it；　picked　up　the　box　of　chocolate　at　the　outside　counter　and　walked　on　home　toward　the　hospital。　Outside　the　little　bar　up　the　street　from　the　Scala　there　were　some　people　I　knew；　a　vice…consul；　two　fellows　who　studied　singing；　and　Ettore　Moretti；　an　Italian　from　San　Francisco　who　was　in　the　Italian　army。　I　had　a　drink　with　them。　One　of　the　singers　was　named　Ralph　Simmons；　and　he　was　singing　under　the　name　of　Enrico　DelCredo。　I　never　knew　how　well　he　could　sing　but　he　was　always　on　the　point　of　something　very　big　happening。　He　was　fat　and　looked　shopworn　around　the　nose　and　mouth　as　though　he　had　hayfever。　He　had　e　back　from　singing　in　Piacenza。　He　had　sung　Tosca　and　it　had　been　wonderful。
〃Of　course　you've　never　heard　me　sing；〃　he　said。
〃When　will　you　sing　here？〃
〃I'll　be　at　the　Scala　in　the　fall。〃
〃I'll　bet　they　throw　the　benches　at　you；〃　Ettore　said。　〃Did　you　hear　how　they　threw　the　benches　at　him　in　Modena？〃
〃It's　a　damned　lie。〃
〃They　threw　the　benches　at　him；〃　Ettore　said。　〃I　was　there。　I　threw　six　benches　myself。〃
〃You're　just　a　wop　from　Frisco。〃
〃He　can't　pronounce　Italian；〃　Ettore　said。　〃Everywhere　he　goes　they　throw　the　benches　at　him。〃
〃Piacenza's　the　toughest　house　to　sing　in　the　north　of　Italy；〃　the　other　tenor　said。　〃Believe　me　that's　a　tough　little　house　to　sing。〃　This　tenor's　name　was　Edgar　Saunders；　and　he　sang　under　the　name　of　Edouardo　Giovanni。
〃I'd　like　to　be　there　to　see　them　throw　the　benches　at　you。〃　Ettore　said。　〃You　can't　sing　Italian。〃
〃He's　a　nut；〃　said　Edgar　Saunders。　〃All　he　knows　how　to　say　is　throw　benches。〃
〃That's　all　they　know　how　to　do　when　you　two　sing；〃　Ettore　said。　〃Then　when　you　go　to　America　you'll　tell　about　your　triumphs　at　the　Scala。　They　wouldn't　let　you　get　by　the　first　note　at　the　Scala。〃
〃I'll　sing　at　the　Scala；〃　Simmons　said。　〃I'm　going　to　sing　Tosca　in　October。〃
〃We'll　go；　won't　we；　Mac？〃　Ettore　said　to　the　vice…consul。　〃They'll　need　somebody　to　protect　them。〃
〃Maybe　the　American　army　will　be　there　to　protect　them；〃　the　vice…consul　said。　〃Do　you　want　another　drink；　Simmons？　You　want　a　drink；　Saunders？〃
〃All　right；〃　said　Saunders。
〃I　hear　you're　going　to　get　the　silver　medal；〃　Ettore　said　to　me。　〃What　kind　of　citation　you　going　to　get？〃
〃I　don't　know。　I　don't　know　I'm　going　to　get　it。〃
〃You're　going　to　get　it。　Oh　boy；　the　girls　at　the　Cova　will　think　you're　fine　then。　They'll　all　think　you　killed　two　hundred　Austrians　or　captured　a　whole　trench　by　yourself。　Believe　me；　I　got　to　work　for　my　decorations。〃
〃How　many　have　you　got；　Ettore？〃　asked　the　vice…consul。
〃He's　got　everything；〃　Simmons　said。　〃He's　the　boy　they're　running　the　war