The Shining 原版小说-第38部分

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selfimage；　by　feelings　of　love　and　responsibility。　Every　possible　choice　seemed　
to　have　drawbacks；　and　sometimes　he　didn't　understand　why　the　drawbacks　were　
drawbacks。　It　was　very　hard。　
　　〃He　thinks　。。。〃　Danny　began　again；　and　then　looked　at　his　mother　quickly。　
She　was　watching　the　road；　not　looking　at　him；　and　he　felt　he　could　go　on。　
　　〃He　thinks　maybe　we'll　be　lonely。　And　then　he　thinks　that　he　likes　it　here　and　
it's　a　good　place　for　us。　He　loves　us　and　doesn't　want　us　to　be　lonely　。。。　or　
sad　。。。　but　he　thinks　even　if　we　are；　it　might　be　okay　in　the　LONGRUN。　Do　you　
know　LONGRUN？〃　


　
　
　　She　nodded。　〃Yes；　dear。　I　do。〃　
　　〃He's　worried　that　if　we　left　he　couldn't　get　another　job。　That　we'd　have　to　
beg；　or　something。〃　
　　〃Is　that　all？〃　
　　〃No；　but　the　rest　is　all　mixed　up。　Because　he's　different　now。〃　
　　〃Yes；〃　she　said；　almost　sighing。　The　grade　eased　a　little　and　she　shifted　
cautiously　back　to　third　gear。　
　　〃I'm　not　making　this　up；　Mommy。　Honest　to　God。〃　
　　〃I　know　that；〃　she　said；　and　smiled。　〃Did　Tony　tell　you？〃　
　　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　know。　That　doctor　didn't　believe　in　Tony；　did　he？〃　
　　〃Never　mind　that　doctor；〃　she　said。　〃I　believe　in　Tony。　I　don't　know　what　he　
is　or　who　he　is；　if　he's　a　part　of　you　that's　special　or　if　he　es　from　。。。　
somewhere　outside；　but　I　do　believe　in　him；　Danny。　And　if　you　。。。　he　。。。　
think　we　should　go；　we　will。　The　two　of　us　will　go　and　be　together　with　Daddy　
again　in　the　spring。〃　
　　He　looked　at　her　with　sharp　hope。　〃Where？　A　motel？〃　
　　〃Hon；　we　couldn't　afford　a　motel。　It　would　have　to　be　at　my　mother's。〃　
　　The　hope　in　Danny's　face　died　out。　〃I　know　—　〃　he　said；　and　stopped。　
　　〃What？〃　
　　〃Nothing；〃　he　muttered。　
　　She　shifted　back　to　second　as　the　grade　steepened　again。　〃No；　doc；　please　
don't　say　that。　This　talk　is　something　we　should　have　had　weeks　ago；　I　think。　So　
please。　What　is　it　you　know？　I　won't　be　mad。　I　can't　be　mad；　because　this　is　too　
important。　Talk　straight　to　me。〃　
　　〃I　know　how　you　feel　about　her；〃　Danny　said；　and　sighed。　
　　〃How　do　I　feel？〃　
　　〃Bad；〃　Danny　said；　and　then　rhyming；　singsong；　frightening　her：　〃Bad。　Sad。　
Mad。　It's　like　she　wasn't　your　mommy　at　all。　Like　she　wanted　to　eat　you。〃　He　
looked　at　her；　frightened。　〃And　I　don't　like　it　there。　She's　always　thinking　
about　how　she　would　be　better　for　me　than　you。　And　how　she　could　get　me　away　
from　you。　Mommy；　I　don't　want　to　go　there。　I'd　rather　be　at　the　Overlook　than　
there。〃　
　　Wendy　was　shaken。　Was　it　that　bad　between　her　and　hermother？　God；　what　hell　
for　the　boy　if　it　was　and　he　could　really　read　their　thoughts　for　each　other。　
She　suddenly　felt　more　naked　than　naked；　as　if　she　had　been　caught　in　an　obscene　
act。　
　　〃All　right；〃　she　said。　〃All　right；　Danny。〃　
　　〃You're　mad　at　me；〃　he　said　in　a　small；　near…to…tears　voice。　
　　〃No；　I'm　not。　Really　I'm　not。　I'm　just　sort　of　shook　up。〃　They　were　passing　a　
SIDEWINDER　15　mi。　sign；　and　Wendy　relaxed　a　little。　From　here　on　in　the　road　was　
better。　
　　〃I　want　to　ask　you　one　more　question；　Danny。　I　want　you　to　answer　it　as　
truthfully　as　you　can。　Will　you　do　that？〃　
　　〃Yes；　Mommy；〃　he　said；　almost　whispering。　
　　〃Has　your　daddy　been　drinking　again？〃　
　　〃No；〃　he　said；　and　smothered　the　two　words　that　rose　behind　his　lips　after　
that　simple　negative：　Not　yet。　
　　Wendy　relaxed　a　little　more。　She　put　a　hand　on　Danny's　jeans…clad　leg　and　


　
　
squeezed　it。　〃Your　daddy　has　tried　very　hard；〃　she　said　softly。　〃Because　he　
loves　us。　And　we　love　him；　don't　we？〃　
　　He　nodded　gravely。　
　　Speaking　almost　to　herself　she　went　on：　〃He's　not　a　perfect　man；　but　he　has　
tried　。。。　Danny；　he's　tried　so　hard！　When　he　。。。　stopped　。。。　he　went　
through　a　kind　of　hell。　He's　still　going　through　it。　I　think　if　it　hadn't　been　
for　us；　he　would　have　just　let　go。　I　want　to　do　what's　right。　And　I　don't　know。　
Should　we　go？　Stay？　It's　like　a　choice　between　the　fat　and　the　fire。〃　
　　〃I　know。〃　
　　〃Would　you　do　something　for　me；　doc？〃　
　　〃What？〃　
　　〃Try　to　make　Tony　e。　Right　now。　Ask　him　if　we're　safe　at　the　Overlook。〃　
　　〃I　already　tried；〃　Danny　said　slowly。　〃This　morning。〃　
　　〃What　happened？〃　Wendy　asked。　〃What　did　he　say？〃　
　　〃He　didn't　e；〃　Danny　said。　〃Tony　didn't　e。〃　And　he　suddenly　burst　into　
tears。　
　　〃Danny；〃　she　said；　alarmed。　〃Honey；　don't　do　that。　Please　　〃　The　truck　swerved　
across　the　double　yellow　line　and　she　pulled　it　back；　scared。　
　　〃Don't　take　me　to　Gramma's；〃　Danny　said　through　his　tears。　〃Please；　Mommy；　I　
don't　want　to　go　there；　I　want　to　stay　with　Daddy　　〃　
　　〃All　right；〃　she　said　softly。　〃All　right；　that's　what　we'll　do。〃　She　took　a　
Kleenex　out　of　the　pocket　of　her　Western…style　shirt　and　handed　it　to　him。　
〃We'll　stay。　And　everything　will　be　fine。　Just　fine。〃　
　
*　〃Bad　Moon　Rising；〃　by　J。　C。　Fogerty；　（c）　1969　Jondora　Music；　Berkeley；　
California。　Used　by　permission。　All　rights　reserved。　International　copyright　
secured。　
　
　
　
　
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IN　THE　PLAYGROUND　
　
　
　　Jack　came　out　onto　the　porch；　tugging　the　tab　of　his　zipper　up　under　his　chin；　
blinking　into　the　bright　air。　In　his　left　hand　he　was　holding　a　battery…powered　
hedge…clipper。　He　tugged　a　fresh　handkerchief　out　of　his　back　pocket　with　his　
right　hand；　wiped　his　lips　with　it；　and　tucked　it　away。　Snow；　they　had　said　on　
the　radio。　It　was　hard　to　believe；　even　though　he　could　see　the　clouds　building　
up　on　the　far　horizon。　
　　He　started　down　the　path　to　the　topiary；　switching　the　hedge…clipper　over　to　
the　other　hand。　It　wouldn't　be　a　long　job；　he　thought；　a　little　touch…up　would　
do　it。　The　cold　nights　had　surely　stunted　their　growth。　The　rabbit's　ears　looked　
a　little　fuzzy；　and　two　of　the　dog's　legs　had　grown　fuzzy　green　bonespurs；　but　


　
　
the　lions　and　the　buffalo　looked　fine。　Just　a　little　haircut　would　do　the　trick；　
and　then　let　the　snow　e。　
　　The　concrete　path　ended　as　abruptly　as　a　diving　board。　He　stepped　off　it　and　
walked　past　the　drained　pool　to　the　gravel　path　which　wound　through　the　hedge　
sculptures　and　into　the　playground　itself。　He　walked　over　to　the　rabbit　and　
pushed　the　button　on　the　handle　of　the　clippers。　It　hummed　into　quiet　life。　
　　〃Hi；　Br'er　Rabbit；〃　Jack　said。　〃How　are　you　today？　A　little　off　the　top　and　
get　some　of　the　extra　off　your　ears？　Fine。　Say；　did　you　hear　the　one　about　the　
traveling　salesman　and　the　old　lady　with　a　pet　poodle？〃　
　　His　voice　sounded　unnatural　and　stupid　in　his　ears；　and　he　stopped。　It　
occurred　to　him　that　he　didn't　care　much　for　these　hedge　animals。　It　had　always　
seemed　slightly　perverted　to　him　to　clip　and　torture　a　plain　old　hedge　into　
something　that　it　wasn't。　Along　one　of　the　highways　in　Vermont　there　had　been　a　
hedge　billboard　on　a　high　slope　overlooking　the　road；　advertising　some　kind　of　
ice　cream。　Making　nature　peddle　ice　cream；　that　was　just　wrong。　It　was　
grotesque。　
　　（You　weren't　hired　to　philosophize；　Torrance。）　
　　Ah；　that　was　true。　So　true。　He　clipped　along　the　rabbit's　ears；　brushing　a　
small　litter　of　sticks　and　twigs　off　onto　the　grass。　The　hedge…clipper　hummed　in　
that　low　and　rather　disgustingly　metallic　way　that　all　battery…powered　
appliances　seem　to　have。　The　sun　was　brilliant　but　it　held　no　warmth；　and　now　it　
wasn't　so　hard　to　believe　that　snow　was　ing。　
　　Working　quickly；　knowing　that　to　stop　and　think　when　you　were　at　this　kind　of　
a　task　usually　meant　making　a　mistake；　Jack　touched　up　the　rabbit's　〃face〃　（up　
this　close　it　didn't　look　like　a　face　at　all；　but　he　knew　that　at　a　distance　of　
twenty　paces　or　so　light　and　shadow　would　seem　to　suggest　one；　that；　and　the　
viewer's　imagination）　and　then　zipped　the　clippers　along　its　belly。　
　　That　done；　he　shut　the　clippers　off；　walked　down　toward　the　playground；　and　
then　turned　back　abruptly　to　get　it　all　at　once；　the　entire　rabbit。　Yes；　it　
looked　all　right。　Well；　he　would　do　the　dog　next。　
　　〃But　if　it　was　my　hotel；〃　he　said；　〃I'd　cut　the　whole　damn　bunch　of　you　down。〃　
He　would；　too。　Just　cut　them　down　and　resod　the　lawn　where　they'd　been　and　put　
in　half　a　dozen　small　metal　tables　with　gaily　colored　umbrellas。　People　could　
have　cocktails　on　the　Overlook's　lawn　in　the　summer　sun。　Sloe　gin　fizzes　and　
margaritas　and　pink　ladies　and　all　those　sweet　tourist　drinks。　A　rum　and　tonic；　
maybe。　Jack　took　his　handkerchief　out　of　his　back　pocket　and　slowly　rubbed　his　
lips　with　it。　
　　〃e　on；　e　on；〃　he　said　softly。　That　was　nothing　to　be　thinking　about。　
　　He　was　going　to　start　back；　and　then　some　impulse　made　him　change　his　mind　and　
he　went　down　to　the　playground　instead。　It　was　funny　how　you　never　knew　kids；　he　
thought。　He　and　Wendy　had　expected　Danny　would　love　the　playground；　it　had　
everything　a　kid　could　want。　But　Jack　didn't　think　the　boy　had　been　down　half　a　
dozen　times；　if　that。　He　supposed　if　there　had　been　another　kid　to　play　with；　it　
would　have　been　different。　
　　The　gate　squeaked　slightly　as　he　let　himself　in；　and　then　there　was　crushed　
gravel　crunching　under　his　feet。　He　went　first　to　the　playhouse；　the　perfect　
scale　model　of　the　Overlook　itself。　It　came　up　to　his　lower　thigh；　just　about　
Danny's　height　when　he　was　standing　up。　Jack　hunkered　down　and　looked　in　the　


　
　
third…floor　windows。　
　　〃The　giant　has　e　to　eat　you　all　up　in　your　beds；〃　he　said　hollowly。　〃Kiss　
your　Triple　A　rating　goodbye。〃　But　that　wasn't　funny；　either。　You　could　open　the　
house　simply　by　pulling　it　apart　—　it　opened　on　a　hidden　hinge。　The　inside　was　a　
disappointment。　The　walls　were　painted；　but　the　place　was　mostly　hollow。　But　of　
course　it　would　have　to　be；　he　told　himself；　or　how　else　could　the　kids　get　
inside？　What　play　furniture　might　go　with　the　place　in　the　summer　was　gone；　
probably　packed　away　in　the　equipment　shed。　He　closed　it　up　and　heard　the　small　
click　as　the　latch　closed。　
　　He　walked　over　to　the　slide；　set　the　hedge…clipper　down；　and　after　a　glance　
back　at　the　driveway　to　make　sure　Wendy　and　Danny　hadn't　returned；　he　climbed　to　
the　top　and　sat　down。　This　was　the　big　kids'　slide；　but　the　fit　was　still　
unfortably　tight　for　his　grownup　ass。　How　long　had　it　been　since　he　had　been　
on　a　slide？　Twenty　years？　It　didn't　seem　possible　it　could　be　that　long；　it　
didn't　feel　that　long；　but　it　had　to　be　that；　or　more。　He　could　remember　his　old　
man　taking　him　to　the　park　in　Berlin　when　he　had　been　Danny's　age；　and　he　had　
done　the　whole　bit　　slide；　swings；　teeter…totters；　everything。　He　and　the　old　man　
would　have　a　hotdog　lunch　and　buy　peanuts　from　the　man　with　the　cart　afterward。　
They　would　sit　on　a　bench　to　eat　them　and　dusky　clouds　of　pigeons　would　flock　
around　their　feet。　
　　〃Goddam　scavenger　birds；〃　his　dad　would　say；　〃don't　you　feed　them；　Jacky。〃　But　
they　would　both　end　up　feeding　them；　and　giggling　at　the　way　they　ran　after　the　
nuts；　the　greedy　way　they　ran　after　the　nuts。　Jack　didn't　think　the　old　man　had　
ever　taken　his　brothers　to　the　park。　Jack　had　been　his　favorite；　and　even　so　
Jack　had　taken　his　lumps　when　the　old　man　was　drunk；　which　was　a　lot　of　the　
time。　But　Jack　had　loved　him　for　as　long　as　he　was　able；　long　after　the　rest　of　
the　family　could　only　hate　and　fear　him。　
　　He　pushed　off　with　his　hands　and　went　to　the　bottom；　but　the　trip　was　
unsatisfying。　The　slide；