还乡The Return Of The Native-第59部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


s　of　despair。　　At　last　she　confronted　him　again。　
“Why　should　I　not　die　if　I　wish？”　she　said　tremulously。　　“I　have　made　a　bad　bargain　with　life；　and　I　am　weary　of　it—weary。　And　now　you　have　hindered　my　escape。　　O；　why　did　you；　Charley！　What　makes　death　painful　except　the　thought　of　others’　grief？and　that　is　absent　in　my　case；　for　not　a　sigh　would　follow　me！”
“Ah；　it　is　trouble　that　has　done　this！　I　wish　in　my　very　soul　that　he　who　brought　it　about　might　die　and　rot；　even　if　‘tis　transportation　to　say　it！”
“Charley；　no　more　of　that。　　What　do　you　mean　to　do　about　this　you　have　seen？”
“Keep　it　close　as　night；　if　you　promise　not　to　think　of　it　again。”
“You　need　not　fear。　　The　moment　has　passed。　　I　promise。”
She　then　went　away；　entered　the　house；　and　lay　down。　
Later　in　the　afternoon　her　grandfather　returned。　　He　was　about　to　question　her　categorically；　but　on　looking　at　her　he　withheld　his　words。　
“Yes；　it　is　too　bad　to　talk　of；”　she　slowly　returned　in　answer　to　his　glance。　　“Can　my　old　room　be　got　ready　for　me　tonight；　Grandfather？　　I　shall　want　to　occupy　it　again。”
He　did　not　ask　what　it　all　meant；　or　why　she　had　left　her　husband；　but　ordered　the　room　to　be　prepared。　


5　… An　Old　Move　Inadvertently　Repeated


Charley’s　attentions　to　his　former　mistress　were　unbounded。　　The　only　solace　to　his　own　trouble　lay　in　his　attempts　to　relieve　hers。　　Hour　after　hour　he　considered　her　wants；　he　thought　of　her　presence　there　with　a　sort　of　gratitude；　and；　while　uttering　imprecations　on　the　cause　of　her　unhappiness；　in　some　measure　blessed　the　result。　　Perhaps　she　would　always　remain　there；　he　thought；　and　then　he　would　be　as　happy　as　he　had　been　before。　　His　dread　was　lest　she　should　think　fit　to　return　to　Alderworth；　and　in　that　dread　his　eyes；　with　all　the　inquisitiveness　of　affection；　frequently　sought　her　face　when　she　was　not　observing　him；　as　he　would　have　watched　the　head　of　a　stockdove　to　learn　if　it　contemplated　flight。　　Having　once　really　succoured　her；　and　possibly　preserved　her　from　the　rashest　of　acts；　he　mentally　assumed　in　addition　a　guardian’s　responsibility　for　her　welfare。　
For　this　reason　he　busily　endeavoured　to　provide　her　with　pleasant　distractions；　bringing　home　curious　objects　which　he　found　in　the　heath；　such　as　white　trumpet…shaped　mosses；　redheaded　lichens；　stone　arrowheads　used　by　the　old　tribes　on　Egdon；　and　faceted　crystals　from　the　hollows　of　flints。　　These　he　deposited　on　the　premises　in　such　positions　that　she　should　see　them　as　if　by　accident。　
A　week　passed；　Eustacia　never　going　out　of　the　house。　　Then　she　walked　into　the　enclosed　plot　and　looked　through　her　grandfather’s　spyglass；　as　she　had　been　in　the　habit　of　doing　before　her　marriage。　　One　day　she　saw；　at　a　place　where　the　highroad　crossed　the　distant　valley；　a　heavily　laden　wagon　passing　along。　　It　was　piled　with　household　furniture。　　She　looked　again　and　again；　and　recognized　it　to　be　her　own。　　In　the　evening　her　grandfather　came　indoors　with　a　rumour　that　Yeobright　had　removed　that　day　from　Alderworth　to　the　old　house　at　Blooms…End。
On　another　occasion　when　reconnoitring　thus　she　beheld　two　female　figures　walking　in　the　vale。　　The　day　was　fine　and　clear；　and　the　persons　not　being　more　than　half　a　mile　off　she　could　see　their　every　detail　with　the　telescope。　　The　woman　walking　in　front　carried　a　white　bundle　in　her　arms；　from　one　end　of　which　hung　a　long　appendage　of　drapery；　and　when　the　walkers　turned；　so　that　the　sun　fell　more　directly　upon　them；　Eustacia　could　see　that　the　object　was　a　baby。　　She　called　Charley；　and　asked　him　if　he　knew　who　they　were；　though　she　well　guessed。
“Mrs。　Wildeve　and　the　nurse…girl；”　said　Charley。　
“The　nurse　is　carrying　the　baby？”　said　Eustacia。
“No；　‘tis　Mrs。　Wildeve　carrying　that；”　he　answered；　“and　the　nurse　walks　behind　carrying　nothing。”
The　lad　was　in　good　spirits　that　day；　for　the　Fifth　of　November　had　again　e　round；　and　he　was　planning　yet　another　scheme　to　divert　her　from　her　too　absorbing　thoughts。　　For　two　successive　years　his　mistress　had　seemed　to　take　pleasure　in　lighting　a　bonfire　on　the　bank　overlooking　the　valley；　but　this　year　she　had　apparently　quite　forgotten　the　day　and　the　customary　deed。　　He　was　careful　not　to　remind　her；　and　went　on　with　his　secret　preparations　for　a　cheerful　surprise；　the　more　zealously　that　he　had　been　absent　last　time　and　unable　to　assist。　　At　every　vacant　minute　he　hastened　to　gather　furze…stumps；　thorn…tree　roots；　and　other　solid　materials　from　the　adjacent　slopes；　hiding　them　from　cursory　view。
The　evening　came；　and　Eustacia　was　still　seemingly　unconscious　of　the　anniversary。　　She　had　gone　indoors　after　her　survey　through　the　glass；　and　had　not　been　visible　since。　　As　soon　as　it　was　quite　dark　Charley　began　to　build　the　bonfire；　choosing　precisely　that　spot　on　the　bank　which　Eustacia　had　chosen　at　previous　times。　
When　all　the　surrounding　bonfires　had　burst　into　existence　Charley　kindled　his；　and　arranged　its　fuel　so　that　it　should　not　require　tending　for　some　time。　　He　then　went　back　to　the　house；　and　lingered　round　the　door　and　windows　till　she　should　by　some　means　or　other　learn　of　his　achievement　and　e　out　to　witness　it。　　But　the　shutters　were　closed；　the　door　remained　shut；　and　no　heed　whatever　seemed　to　be　taken　of　his　performance。　　Not　liking　to　call　her　he　went　back　and　replenished　the　fire；　continuing　to　do　this　for　more　than　half　an　hour。　　It　was　not　till　his　stock　of　fuel　had　greatly　diminished　that　he　went　to　the　back　door　and　sent　in　to　beg　that　Mrs。　Yeobright　would　open　the　window…shutters　and　see　the　sight　outside。　
Eustacia；　who　had　been　sitting　listlessly　in　the　parlour；　started　up　at　the　intelligence　and　flung　open　the　shutters。　　Facing　her　on　the　bank　blazed　the　fire；　which　at　once　sent　a　ruddy　glare　into　the　room　where　she　was；　and　overpowered　the　candles。　
“Well　done；　Charley！”　said　Captain　Vye　from　the　chimney…corner。　　“But　I　hope　it　is　not　my　wood　that　he’s　burning。。。。Ah；　it　was　this　time　last　year　that　I　met　with　that　man　Venn；　bringing　home　Thomasin　Yeobright—to　be　sure　it　was！　Well；　who　would　have　thought　that　girl’s　troubles　would　have　ended　so　well？　　What　a　snipe　you　were　in　that　matter；　Eustacia！　Has　your　husband　written　to　you　yet？”
“No；”　said　Eustacia；　looking　vaguely　through　the　window　at　the　fire；　which　just　then　so　much　engaged　her　mind　that　she　did　not　resent　her　grandfather’s　blunt　opinion。　　She　could　see　Charley’s　form　on　the　bank；　shovelling　and　stirring　the　fire；　and　there　flashed　upon　her　imagination　some　other　form　which　that　fire　might　call　up。　
She　left　the　room；　put　on　her　garden　bonnet　and　cloak；　and　went　out。　　Reaching　the　bank；　she　looked　over　with　a　wild　curiosity　and　misgiving；　when　Charley　said　to　her；　with　a　pleased　sense　of　himself；　“I　made　it　o’　purpose　for　you；　ma’am。”
“Thank　you；”　she　said　hastily。　　“But　I　wish　you　to　put　it　out　now。”
“It　will　soon　burn　down；”　said　Charley；　rather　disappointed。　
“Is　it　not　a　pity　to　knock　it　out？”
“I　don’t　know；”　she　musingly　answered。　
They　stood　in　silence；　broken　only　by　the　crackling　of　the　flames；　till　Charley；　perceiving　that　she　did　not　want　to　talk　to　him；　moved　reluctantly　away。　
Eustacia　remained　within　the　bank　looking　at　the　fire；　intending　to　go　indoors；　yet　lingering　still。　　Had　she　not　by　her　situation　been　inclined　to　hold　in　indifference　all　things　honoured　of　the　gods　and　of　men　she　would　probably　have　e　away。　　But　her　state　was　so　hopeless　that　she　could　play　with　it。　　To　have　lost　is　less　disturbing　than　to　wonder　if　we　may　possibly　have　won；　and　Eustacia　could　now；　like　other　people　at　such　a　stage；　take　a　standing…point　outside　herself；　observe　herself　as　a　disinterested　spectator；　and　think　what　a　sport　for　Heaven　this　woman　Eustacia　was。　
While　she　stood　she　heard　a　sound。　　It　was　the　splash　of　a　stone　in　the　pond。　
Had　Eustacia　received　the　stone　full　in　the　bosom　her　heart　could　not　have　given　a　more　decided　thump。　　She　had　thought　of　the　possibility　of　such　a　signal　in　answer　to　that　which　had　been　unwittingly　given　by　Charley；　but　she　had　not　expected　it　yet。　　How　prompt　Wildeve　was！　Yet　how　could　he　think　her　capable　of　deliberately　wishing　to　renew　their　assignations　now？　　An　impulse　to　leave　the　spot；　a　desire　to　stay；　struggled　within　her；　and　the　desire　held　its　own。　　More　than　that　it　did　not　do；　for　she　refrained　even　from　ascending　the　bank　and　looking　over。　　She　remained　motionless；　not　disturbing　a　muscle　of　her　face　or　raising　her　eyes；　for　were　she　to　turn　up　her　face　the　fire　on　the　bank　would　shine　upon　it；　and　Wildeve　might　be　looking　down。　
There　was　a　second　splash　into　the　pond。　
Why　did　he　stay　so　long　without　advancing　and　looking　over？　　Curiosity　had　its　way—she　ascended　one　or　two　of　the　earth…steps　in　the　bank　and　glanced　out。　
Wildeve　was　before　her。　　He　had　e　forward　after　throwing　the　last　pebble；　and　the　fire　now　shone　into　each　of　their　faces　from　the　bank　stretching　breast…high　between　them。　
“I　did　not　light　it！”　cried　Eustacia　quickly。　　“It　was　lit　without　my　knowledge。　　Don’t；　don’t　e　over　to　me！”
“Why　have　you　been　living　here　all　these　days　without　telling　me？　　You　have　left　your　home。　　I　fear　I　am　something　to　blame　in　this？”
“I　did　not　let　in　his　mother；　that’s　how　it　is！”
“You　do　not　deserve　what　you　have　got；　Eustacia；　you　are　in　great　misery；　I　see　it　in　your　eyes；　your　mouth；　and　all　over　you。　　My　poor；　poor　girl！”　He　stepped　over　the　bank。　　“You　are　beyond　everything　unhappy！”
“No；　no；　not　exactly—“
“It　has　been　pushed　too　far—it　is　killing　you—I　do　think　it！”
Her　usually　quiet　breathing　had　grown　quicker　with　his　words。　　“I—I—“　she　began；　and　then　burst　into　quivering　sobs；　shaken　to　the　very　heart　by　the　unexpected　voice　of　pity—a　sentiment　whose　existence　in　relation　to　herself　she　had　almost　forgotten。　
This　outbreak　of　weeping　took　Eustacia　herself　so　much　by　surprise　that　she　could　not　leave　off；　and　she　turned　aside　from　him　in　some　shame；　though　turning　hid　nothing　from　him。　　She　sobbed　on　desperately；　then　the　outpour　lessened；　and　she　became　quieter。　　Wildeve　had　resisted　the　impulse　to　clasp　her；　and　stood　without　speaking。　
“Are　you　not　ashamed　of　me；　who　used　never　to　be　a　crying　animal？”　she　asked　in　a　weak　whisper　as　she　wiped　her　eyes。　　“Why　didn’t　you　go　away？　　I　wish　you　had　not　seen　quite　all　that；　it　reveals　too　much　by　half。”
“You　might　have　wished　it；　because　it　makes　me　as　sad　as　you；”　he　said　with　emotion　and　deference。　　“As　for　revealing—the　word　is　impossible　between　us　two。”
“I　did　not　send　for　you—don’t　forget　it；　Damon；　I　am　in　pain；　but　I　did　not　send　for　you！　As　a　wife；　at　least；　I’ve　been　straight。”
“Never　mind—I　came。　　O；　Eustacia；　forgive　me　for　the　harm　I　have　done　you　in　these　two　past　years！　I　see　more　and　more　that　I　have　been　your　ruin。”
“Not　you。　　This　place　I　live　in。”
“Ah；　your　generosity　may　naturally　make　you　say　that。　　But　I　am　the　culprit。　　I　should　either　have　done　more　or　nothing　at　all。”
“In　what　way？”
“I　ought　never　to　have　hunted　you　out；　or；　having　done　it；　I　ought　to　have　persisted　in　retaining　you。　　But　of　course　I　have　no　right　to　talk　of　that　now。　　I　will　only　ask　this—can　I　do　anything　for　you？　　Is　there　anything　on