anner.bloodandgold-第85部分

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　　　I　took　her　by　the　arms。　I　shook　her。　Her　hair　did　e　loose　and　then　violently　and　cruelly　I　pulled　at　it；　and　I　buried　my　face　in　her　hair。
　　　〃Pandora；　if　you　require　this　of　me；　I'll　do　it。　Only　give　me　time；　give　me　time　to　make　certain　that　Bianca　is　where　she　might　survive　well　and　happy。　I'll　do　it　for　you；　do　you　understand；　if　only　you'll　stop　fighting　me！〃
　　　I　drew　back。　She　appeared　dazed　and　cold。　Her　lovely　hair　spilled　down　on　her　shoulders。
　　　〃What　is　it？〃　she　asked　in　a　low　sluggish　voice。　〃Why　do　you　look　at　me　this　way？〃
　　　I　was　on　the　edge　of　tears；　but　I　stopped　them。
　　　〃Because　I　imagined；〃　I　said；　〃that　this　meeting　would　be　so　very　different。　And　I　did　think　that　you　would　e　with　me　willingly。　And　I　did　think　that　we　two　could　live　in　harmony　with　Bianca。　I　believed　these　things。　I　believed　them　for　a　long　time。　And　now　I　sit　with　you　here　and　all　is　argument　and　torment。〃
　　　〃That's　all　it　ever　was；　Marius；〃　she　replied　in　her　low　sad　voice。　〃That's　why　you　left　me。〃
　　　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃That's　not　so。　Pandora；　ours　was　a　great　love。　You　must　acknowledge　it。　There　was　a　terrible　parting；　yes；　but　we　had　a　great　love；　and　we　can　have　it　again　if　we　reach　for　it。〃
　　　She　gazed　at　the　house；　then　back　at　me　almost　furtively。　　Something　quickened　in　her　and　she　suddenly　gripped　my　arm　with　white　knuckles。　There　came　that　look　of　terrible　fear　again。
　　　〃e　into　the　house　with　me；〃　I　said。　〃Meet　Bianca。　Take　her　hands　in　yours。　Pandora；　listen　to　me。　Stay　in　the　house　while　I　go　to　settle　things　with　Arjun。　I　won't　be　long；　I　promise　you。〃
　　　〃No；〃　she　cried。　〃Don't　you　understand？　I　can't　go　into　this　house。　It　has　nothing　to　do　with　your　Bianca。〃
　　　〃What　then？　What　now？　What　more！〃　I　demanded。
　　　〃It's　the　sound　I　hear；　the　sound　of　their　hearts　beating！〃
　　　〃The　King　and　the　Queen！　Yes；　they　are　inside。　They　are　deep　within　the　Earth；　Pandora。　They　are　as　still　and　silent　as　always。　You　need　not　even　see　them。〃
　　　A　look　of　pure　terror　infected　her　features。　I　put　my　arms　around　her；　but　she　only　looked　away。
　　　〃As　still　and　silent　as　always；〃　she　gasped。　〃Surely　that　can't　be。　Not　after　all　this　time。　Marius！〃
　　　〃Oh；　but　it　is；〃　I　said。　〃And　to　you　it　should　be　nothing。　You　needn't　go　down　the　steps　to　the　shrine。　It　is　my　duty。　Pandora；　stop　looking　away。〃
　　　〃Don't　hurt　me；　Marius；〃　she　cautioned。　〃You're　rough　with　me　as　though　I　were　a　concubine。　Treat　me　with　grace。〃　Her　lips　trembled。　〃Treat　me　with　mercy；〃　she　said　sadly。
　　　I　started　to　weep。
　　　〃Stay　with　me；〃　I　said。　〃e　inside。　Talk　to　Bianca。　e　to　love　us　both。　Let　time　begin　from　this　moment。〃
　　　〃No；　Marius；〃　she　said。　〃Take　me　away　from　that　awful　sound。　Take　me　back　to　the　place　where　I　am　living。　Take　me　back；　or　I　shall　go　on　foot。　I　can't　bear　this。〃
　　　I　obeyed　her　mands。　We　were　silent　as　she　traveled　to　a　large　handsome　house　in　Dresden　whose　many　windows　were　dark；　and　there　I　held　her　still；　kissing　her；　refusing　to　let　her　go。
　　　
　　　Finally；　I　drew　out　my　handkerchief　and　wiped　my　face。　I　drew　in　my　breath　and　tried　to　speak　calmly。
　　　〃You　are　frightened；〃　I　said；　〃and　I　must　understand　it　and　be　patient　with　it。〃
　　　She　had　that　dazed　cold　look　in　her　eyes；　a　look　I　had　never　seen　in　the　early　years；　a　look　that　now　horrified　me。
　　　〃Tomorrow　night；　we　shall　meet　again；〃　I　said；　〃here　perhaps　in　this　house　where　you　are　dwelling；　where　you　are　safe　from　the　sound　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father。　Wherever　you　wish。　But　wherever　you　can　get　used　to　me。〃
　　　She　nodded。　She　lifted　her　hand　and　stroked　my　cheek　with　her　fingers。
　　　〃How　well　you　pretend；〃　she　whispered。　〃How　very　fine　you　are；　and　always　were。　And　to　think　those　demons　in　Rome　thought　they　had　put　out　your　brilliant　light。　I　should　have　laughed　at　them。〃
　　　〃Yes；　and　my　light　shines　only　for　you；〃　I　said；　〃and　it　was　of　you　I　dreamt　when　I　was　burnt　black　by　the　fire　sent　from　that　demon　blood　drinker　Santino。　It　was　of　you　I　dreamt　as　I　drank　from　the　Mother　to　regain　my　strength；　as　I　searched　for　you　through　the　countries　of　Europe。〃
　　　〃Oh；　my　love；〃　she　whispered。　〃My　great　love。　If　only　I　could　be　again　the　strong　one　whom　you　remember。〃
　　　〃But　you　will　be；〃　I　insisted。　〃You　are。　I　shall　take　care　of　you；　yes；　just　as　you　wish。　And　you　and　Bianca　and　I…we　shall　all　love　one　another。　Tomorrow　night；　we'll　talk。　We'll　make　plans。　We'll　speak　of　all　the　great　cathedrals　we　must　see；　the　windows　of　colored　glass；　we'll　speak　of　the　painters　whose　fine　work　we　have　yet　to　study。　We'll　speak　of　the　New　World；　of　its　forests　and　its　rivers。　Pandora；　we　will　speak　of　everything。〃
　　　I　went　on　and　on。
　　　〃And　you　will　e　to　love　Bianca；〃　I　said。　〃You　will　e　to　treasure　her。　I　know　Bianca's　heart　and　soul　as　ever　I　knew　yours；　I　swear　to　you。　We　will　exist　together　in　peace；　believe　me。　You　have　no　idea　of　the　happiness　that　awaits　you。〃
　　　〃Happiness？〃　she　asked。　She　looked　at　me　as　though　she　hardly　understood　the　words　I　had　spoken。　Then　she　said：
　　　〃Marius；　I　leave　this　city　tonight。　Nothing　can　stop　it。〃
　　　〃No；　no；　you　can't　say　this　to　me！〃　I　declared。　I　grabbed　her　by　the　arms　again。
　　　
　　　
　　　〃Don't　hurt　me；　Marius。　I　leave　this　city　tonight。　I　told　you。　Marius；　you've　waited　for　one　hundred　years　to　see　one　thing；　and　one　thing　only…that　I　live。　Now　leave　me　to　the　existence　I've　chosen。〃
　　　〃I　won't。　I　won't　have　it。〃
　　　〃Yes；　you　will；〃　she　whispered。　〃Marius；　don't　you　see　what　I'm　trying　to　tell　you。　I　haven't　the　courage　to　leave　Arjun。　I　haven't　the　courage　to　see　the　Mother　and　the　Father。　Marius；　I　don't　have　the　courage　to　love　you　anymore。　The　very　sound　of　your　angry　voice　frightens　me。　I　don't　have　the　courage　to　meet　your　Bianca。　The　very　thought　that　you　might　love　her　more　than　me　frightens　me。　I　am　frightened　of　it　all；　don't　you　see？　And　even　now；　I　am　desperate　for　Arjun　that　he　may　take　me　away　from　all　of　this。　With　Arjun　there　is　for　me　a　great　simplicity！　Marius；　please　let　me　go　with　your　forgiveness。〃
　　　〃I　don't　believe　you；〃　I　said。　〃I　told　you　I　will　give　up　Bianca　for　you。　Good　God；　Pandora；　what　more　can　I　do？　You　can't　be　
　　　leaving　me。〃
　　　I　turned　my　back　on　her。　The　expression　on　her　face　was　too　strange。　I　couldn't　endure　it。
　　　And　as　I　sat　there　in　the　darkness；　I　heard　the　door　of　the　carriage　open。　I　heard　her　quick　step　on　the　stones；　and　she　was　gone　from　me。
　　　My　Pandora；　utterly　gone　from　me。
　　　I　don't　know　how　long　I　waited。　It　was　not　a　full　hour。
　　　I　was　too　distressed；　too　perfectly　miserable。　I　didn't　want　to　see　her　panion；　and　when　I　thought　of　banging　on　the　doors　of　her　house；　I　found　it　too　utterly　humiliating。
　　　And　in　truth；　in　pure　truth；　she　had　convinced　me。　She　wouldn't　remain　with　me。
　　　I　was　about　to　tell　my　driver　to　take　us　home　when　a　sound　came　to　me。　It　was　of　her　howling　and　crying；　and　of　objects　within　the　house　being　broken。
　　　It　was　all　I　needed　to　push　me　into　action。　I　left　the　carriage　and　ran　to　her　door。　I　shot　an　evil　glance　at　her　mortal　servants；　which　
　　　rendered　them　virtually　powerless；　and　threw　open　the　doors　for　myself。
　　　I　rushed　up　the　marble　steps。　I　found　her　going　madly　along　the　walls；　pounding　the　mirrors　with　her　fists。　I　found　her　shedding　blood　tears　and　shivering。　There　was　broken　glass　all　around　her。
　　　I　took　her　wrists。　I　took　them　tenderly。
　　　〃Stay　with　me；〃　I　said。　〃Stay　with　me！〃
　　　
　　　
　　　Quite　suddenly　behind　me；　I　heard　the　presence　of　Arjun。　I　heard　his　unhurried　step　and　then　he　entered　the　room。
　　　She　had　collapsed　against　my　chest。　She　was　shaking。
　　　〃Don't　worry；〃　said　Arjun　in　the　same　patient　tone　he　had　used　with　me　in　the　Duke's　palace。　〃We　can　talk　of　all　these　things　in　a　courteous　way。　I　am　not　a　wild　creature；　given　to　acts　of　destruction。〃
　　　He　seemed　the　perfect　gentleman　with　his　lace　handkerchief　and　high…heeled　shoes。　He　looked　about　at　the　broken　pieces　of　mirror　which　lay　on　the　fine　carpet；　and　he　shook　his　head。
　　　〃Then　leave　me　alone　with　her；〃　I　said。
　　　〃Is　this　what　you　wish；　Pandora？〃　he　asked。
　　　She　nodded。　〃For　a　little　while；　my　darling；〃　she　said　to　him。
　　　As　soon　as　he　had　left　the　room；　and　shut　the　tall　double　doors　behind　him；　I　stroked　her　hair；　and　I　kissed　her　again。
　　　〃I　can't　leave　him；〃　she　confessed。
　　　〃And　why　not？　〃　I　asked。
　　　〃Because　I　made　him；〃　she　answered。　〃He　is　my　son；　my　spouse；　and　my　guardian。〃
　　　I　was　shocked。
　　　I　had　never　supposed　such　a　thing！
　　　In　all　these　years　I　had　thought　him　some　dominating　creature　who　kept　her　in　his　power。
　　　〃I　made　him　so　that　he　would　take　care　of　me；〃　she　said。　〃I　took　him　from　India　where　I　was　worshiped　as　a　very　goddess　by　those　few　who　had　set　eyes　upon　me。　I　taught　him　European　ways。　I　placed　him　in　charge　of　me　so　that　in　my　weakness　and　despair；　he　would　control　me。　And　it　is　his　hunger　for　life　which　drives　us　both。　Without　it　I　might　have　languished　in　some　deep　tomb　for　centuries。〃
　　　〃Very　well；〃　I　said；　〃he　is　your　child。　This　I　understand；　but　Pandora；　
　　　you　are　mine！　What　of　this！　You　are　mine；　and　I　have　you　in　my　possession　again！　Oh；　forgive　me；　forgive　that　I　speak　so　harshly；　that　I　use　words　such　as　possession。　What　do　I　mean　to　say？　I　mean　to　say　I　can't　lose　you！〃
　　　〃I　know　what　you　mean；〃　she　said；　〃but　you　see；　I　can't　turn　him　away　from　me。　He　has　done　far　too　well　in　what　I　have　asked　of　him；　and　he　loves　me。　And　he　cannot　live　under　your　roof；　Marius。　I　know　you　only　too　well。　Where　Marius　lives；　Marius　rules。　You　will　never　suffer　a　male　such　as　Arjun　to　dwell　with　you　on　my　account　or　for　any　other　reason。〃
　　　
　　　
　　　I　was　so　deeply　wounded　that　for　one　moment　I　couldn't　answer　her。　I　shook　my　head　as　though　to　deny　what　she　had　said；　but　in　truth　I　didn't　know　whether　or　not　she　was　wrong。　I　had　always；　always　thought　only　of　destroying　Arjun。
　　　〃You　can't　deny　it；〃　she　said　softly。　〃Arjun　is　too　strong；　too　willful；　and　has　been　too　long　his　own　master。〃
　　　〃There　must　be　some　way；〃　I　pleaded。
　　　〃There　will　e　a　night；　surely；〃　she　said；　〃when　it　is　time　for　Arjun　to　part　from　me。　The　same　may　happen　with　you　and　your　Bianca。　But　this　is　not　the　time。　And　so　I　beg　you；　let　go　of　me；　Marius；　say　farewell　to　me；　and　promise　me　that　you　will　eternally　persevere　and　I　shall　give　you　the　same　promise。〃
　　　〃This　is　your　vengeance；　isn't　it？〃　I　asked　quietly。　〃You　were　my　child　and　within　two　hundred　years　I　left　you。　And　so　you　tell　me　now　that　you　won't　do　the　same　to　him…。〃
　　　〃No；　my　beautiful　Marius；　it　isn't　vengeance；　it　is　only　the　truth。　Now；　leave　me。〃　She　smiled　bitterly。　〃Oh；　what　a　gift　to　me　this　night　has　been；　that　I　have　seen　you　alive；　that　I　know　the　Roman　blood　drinker　Santino　was　wrong。　This　night　will　carry　me　through　
　　　centuries。〃
　　　〃It　will　carry　you　away　from　me；〃　I　said；　nodding。
　　　But　then　her　lips　caught　me　by　surprise。　It　was　she　who　kissed　me　ardently；　and　then　I　felt　her　tiny　sharp　teeth　pierce　my　throat。
　　　I　stood　rigid；　eyes　closed；　letting　her　drink；　feeling　the　inevitable　pull　on　my　heart；　my　head　suddenly　full　of　visions　of　the　dark　forest　through　which　she　and　her　panion　so　often　rode　and　I　couldn't　know　whether　these　w