anner.bloodandgold-第37部分

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　　　〃Why　don't　you　speak？〃　she　asked　me；　her　eyes　full　of　hurt　and　wonder。　〃Why　are　you　so　quiet？〃
　　　I　shook　my　head。　〃What　can　I　say？〃　I　asked。　〃It　was　a　terrible　quarrel。
　　　　I　didn't　want　it。　I　thought　that　we　could　all　exist　here　in　peace。〃
　　　At　this　she　smiled。　〃She　would　never　have　allowed　that；〃　she　said　to　me　quickly。　〃If　you　knew　how　many　she's　destroyed　。。。　but　then　I　don't　know　myself。〃
　　　
　　　
　　　This　was　a　small　fort　to　my　conscience；　but　I　didn't　seize　upon　it。　I　let　it　go。
　　　〃She　said　that　this　city　belonged　to　her；　and　that　it　took　the　power　of　an　empress　to　protect　it。　She　took　me　from　the　palace；　where　I　was　a　slave。　She　brought　me　here　by　night　and　I　was　so　frightened。　But　then　I　came　to　love　her。　She　was　so　certain　that　I　would。　She　told　such　stories　of　her　wanderings。　And　then　when　others　came；　she　would　hide　me；　and　she　would　go　against　them　until　the　city　was　hers　again。〃
　　　I　nodded；　listening　to　all　this；　sad　for　her　and　the　drowsy　sorrowful　manner　in　which　she　spoke。　It　was　no　more　than　I'd　supposed。
　　　〃How　will　you　exist　if　I　leave　you　here？〃　I　asked。
　　　〃I　can't！〃　she　answered。　She　looked　into　my　eyes。　〃You　can't　leave　me。　You　must　take　care　of　me。　I　beg　you。　I　don't　know　what　it　means　to　exist　alone。〃
　　　I　cursed　under　my　breath。　She　heard　it；　and　I　saw　the　pain　in　her　expression。
　　　I　stood　up　and　walked　about　the　room。　I　looked　back　at　her；　this　baby　woman；　with　her　tender　mouth　and　her　long　loose　black　hair。
　　　〃What's　your　name？〃　I　asked　her。
　　　〃Zenobia；〃　she　replied。　〃Why　can't　you　read　it　from　my　mind？　She　could　always　read　my　thoughts。〃
　　　〃I　could　do　it；〃　I　said；　〃if　I　wanted　to　do　it。　But　I　would　rather　talk　to　you。　Your　beauty　confuses　me。　I　would　rather　hear　your　voice。　Who　made　you　a　vampire？〃
　　　〃One　of　her　slaves；〃　she　said。　〃The　one　named　Asphar。　He's　gone　too；　isn't　he？〃　she　asked。　〃They're　all　gone。　I　saw　the　ashes。〃　She　
　　　gestured　vaguely　to　the　other　rooms。　She　murmured　a　string　of　names。
　　　〃Yes；〃　I　said；　〃they're　all　dead。〃
　　　〃You　would　have　slain　me　too　if　I'd　been　here；〃　she　said；　with　the　same　wondering　and　hurt…filled　expression。
　　　〃Perhaps；〃　I　said。　〃But　it's　over　now。　It　was　a　battle。　And　when　a　battle　is　finished；　everything　changes。　Who　else　has　been　hidden　away？〃
　　　〃No　one；〃　she　answered　truthfully；　〃only　me；　with　one　mortal　slave；　and　when　I　woke　tonight；　he　was　gone。〃
　　　I　must　have　looked　very　dejected　for　surely　I　felt　that　way。
　　　She　turned　and　with　the　slowness　of　a　dazed　person；　reached　under　the　heavy　pillows　at　the　head　of　the　bed；　and　withdrew　a　dagger。
　　　Then　she　rose　and　made　her　way　to　me。　She　held　up　the　dagger
　　　
　　　with　two　hands；　the　tip　pointed　at　my　chest。　She　stared　before　her；　but　not　into　my　eyes。　Her　long　wavy　black　hair　fell　down　around　her　on　both　sides　of　her　face。
　　　〃I　should　take　vengeance；〃　she　said　quietly；　〃but　you　will　only　stop　me　if　I　try。〃
　　　〃Don't　try　it；〃　I　said　in　the　same　calm　voice　I　had　used　for　her　all　along。　I　pushed　the　dagger　away　gently。　And　putting　my　arm　around　her；　I　led　her　back　to　the　bed。
　　　〃Why　didn't　she　give　you　the　Blood？〃　I　asked。
　　　〃Her　blood　was　too　strong　for　us。　She　told　us　so。　All　her　blood　drinker　slaves　were　stolen　or　made　one　by　another　under　her　direction。　She　said　that　her　blood　was　not　to　be　shared。　It　would　e　with　strength　and　silence。　Make　a　blood　drinker　and　you　cannot　ever　hear　his　thoughts　afterwards。　That's　what　she　told　us。　So　Asphar　made　me　and　I　was　deaf　to　Asphar　and　Asphar　was　deaf　to　me。　She　must　keep　us　all　in　obedience　and　that　she　could　not　do　if　we　were　made　from　her　powerful　blood。〃
　　　It　pained　me　now　that　Eudoxia　was　the　teacher；　and　Eudoxia　was　dead。
　　　This　one　was　studying　me；　and　then　she　asked　in　the　simplest　voice：
　　　〃Why　don't　you　want　me？　What　can　I　do　to　make　you　want　me？〃　She　went　on　speaking　tenderly。　〃You're　very　beautiful；〃　she　said；　〃with　your　light　yellow　hair。　You　look　like　a　god；　really；　tall　as　you　are　and　with　your　blue　eyes。　Even　she　thought　you　were　beautiful。　She　told　me　you　were。　I　was　never　allowed　to　see　you。　But　she　told　me　that　you　were　like　the　North　men。　She　described　you　as　you　walked　about　in　your　red　robes…。〃
　　　〃Don't　say　any　more；　please；〃　I　said。　〃You　don't　have　to　flatter　me。　It　won't　matter。　I　can't　take　you　with　me。〃
　　　〃Why？〃　she　asked。　〃Because　I　know　about　the　Mother　and　the　Father？〃
　　　I　was　shocked。
　　　I　should　read　her　thoughts；　all　her　thoughts；　ransack　her　soul　for　everything　she　knew；　I　thought；　but　I　didn't　want　to　do　it。　I　didn't　want　that　feeling　of　intimacy　with　her。　Her　beauty　was　too　much；　there　was　no　denying　it。
　　　Unlike　my　paragon；　Pandora；　this　lovely　creature　had　the　promise　of　a　virgin…that　one　could　make　cf　her　what　one　wanted　while　losing　nothing…and　I　believed　that　promise　to　contain　a　lie。
　　　
　　　I　answered　her　in　a　warm　whisper　trying　not　to　hurt　her。
　　　〃That's　precisely　the　reason　I　can't　take　you；　that；　and　because　I　must　be　alone。〃
　　　She　bowed　her　head。　〃What　am　I　to　do？〃　she　asked。　〃Tell　me。　Men　will　e　here；　mortal　men；〃　she　said；　〃wanting　the　taxes　on　this　house　or　some　other　triviality　and　I　shall　be　discovered　and　called　a　witch　or　a　heretic　and　dragged　into　the　streets。　Or　during　the　day　they　will　e　and　find　me　sleeping　like　the　dead　beneath　the　floor；　and　lift　me；　
　　　hoping　to　revive　me；　into　the　certain　death　of　the　sun's　light。〃
　　　〃Stop；　I　know　it　all；〃　I　said。　〃Don't　you　see；　I'm　trying　to　reason！　Leave　me　alone　for　now。〃
　　　〃If　I　leave　you　alone；〃　she　said；　〃I'll　start　weeping　or　screaming　in　my　grief；　and　you　won't　be　able　to　bear　it。　You'll　desert　me。〃
　　　〃No；　I　won't；〃　I　said。　〃Be　quiet。〃
　　　I　paced　the　floor；　my　heart　aching　for　her；　and　my　soul　hurting　for　myself　that　this　had　fallen　to　me。　It　seemed　a　terrible　justice　for　my　slaughter　of　Eudoxia。　Indeed　this　child　seemed　some　phantom　risen　from　Eudoxia's　ashes　to　haunt　me　as　I　tried　to　plan　my　escape　from　what　I'd　done。
　　　Finally；　I　quietly　sent　out　my　call　to　Avicus　and　Mael。　Using　my　strongest　Mind　Gift；　I　urged　them；　no；　manded　them；　to　e　to　me　at　Eudoxia's　house　and　to　let　nothing　keep　them　from　it。　I　told　them　I　needed　them　and　I　would　wait　until　they　arrived。
　　　Then　I　sat　down　beside　my　young　captive　and　I　did　what　I　had　been　wanting　to　do　all　along：　I　moved　her　heavy　black　hair　back　behind　her　shoulders　and　I　kissed　her　soft　cheeks。　These　were　rapacious　kisses　and　I　knew　it。　But　the　texture　of　her　baby　soft　skin　and　of　her　thick　wavy　hair　drove　me　to　quiet　madness；　and　I　wouldn't　stop。
　　　This　intimacy　startled　her　but　she　did　nothing　to　drive　me　away。
　　　〃Did　Eudoxia　suffer？〃　she　asked　me。
　　　〃Very　little；　if　at　all；〃　I　said。　I　drew　back　from　kissing　her。　〃But　tell　me　why　she　didn't　simply　try　to　destroy　me；〃　I　said。　〃Why　did　she　invite　me　here？　Why　did　she　talk　with　me？　Why　did　she　give　me　some　hope　that　we　could　e　to　an　understanding　of　the　mind？〃
　　　She　pondered　this　before　she　answered。
　　　〃You　held　a　fascination　for　her；〃　said　Zenobia；　〃which　others　had　not。　It　wasn't　only　your　beauty　though　that　was　a　large　part　of　it。　Always　for　her　a　large　part　of　it。　She　said　to　me　that　she　had　heard　tell　of　you　from　a　woman　blood　drinker　in　Crete　long　ago。〃
　　　
　　　
　　　I　dared　not　interrupt　her！　I　stared　with　wide　eyes。
　　　〃Many　years　ago；〃　she　said；　〃this　Roman　blood　drinker　had　e　to　the　isle　of　Crete；　wandering；　looking　for　you；　and　speaking　of　you…　Marius；　the　Roman；　Patrician　by　birth；　scholar　by　choice。　The　woman　blood　drinker　loved　you。　She　didn't　challenge　the　claim　of　Eudoxia　to　all　of　the　island。　She　searched　only　for　you；　and　when　she　found　that　you　weren't　there；　she　moved　on。〃
　　　I　couldn't　speak！　I　was　so　miserable　and　so　excited　that　I　couldn't　answer　her。　It　was　Pandora！　And　this　was　the　first　that　I　had　heard　of　her　in　three　hundred　years。
　　　〃Don't　weep　over　this；〃　she　said　gently。　〃It　happened　in　ages　past。　Surely　time　can　take　away　such　love。　What　a　curse　if　it　can't。〃
　　　〃It　can't。〃　I　said。　My　voice　was　thick。　The　tears　were　in　my　eyes。　〃What　more　did　she　say？　Tell　me；　please；　the　tiniest　things　you　might　remember。〃　My　heart　was　knocking　in　my　chest。　Indeed　it　seemed　as　if　I'd　forgotten　that　I　had　a　heart　and　must　now　find　out。
　　　〃What　more。　There　is　no　more。　Only　that　the　woman　was　powerful　and　no　easy　enemy。　You　know　Eudoxia　always　spoke　of　such　things。　The　woman　could　not　be　destroyed；　nor　would　she　tell　the　origin　of　her　great　strength。　To　Eudoxia　it　was　a　mystery…until　you　came　to　Constantinople；　and　she　saw　you；　Marius；　the　Roman；　in　your　brilliant　red　robes；　moving　through　the　square　at　evening；　pale　as　marble；　yet　with　all　the　conviction　of　a　mortal　man。〃
　　　She　paused。　She　put　her　hand　up　to　touch　the　side　of　my　face。
　　　〃Don't　cry。　Those　were　her　words：　'with　all　the　conviction　of　a　mortal　man。'　〃
　　　〃How　then　did　you　learn　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father？〃　I　asked；　〃and　what　do　such　words　mean　to　you？〃
　　　〃She　spoke　of　them　in　amazement；〃　she　said。　〃She　said　you　were　rash　if　not　mad。　But　you　see；　she　would　go　one　way　and　then　the　other；　that　was　always　in　her　nature。　She　cursed　you　that　the　Mother　and　the　Father　were　in　this　very　city；　and　yet　she　wanted　to　bring　you　here　to　her　house。　On　account　of　this；　I　had　to　be　hidden。　Yet　she　kept　the　boys　for　whom　she　cared　so　little。　And　I　was　put　away。〃
　　　〃And　the　Mother　and　the　Father？〃　I　asked。　〃Do　you　know　what　they　are？〃
　　　She　shook　her　head。　〃Only　that　you　have　them；　or　had　them　when　she　spoke　of　it。　Are　they　the　First　of　us？〃
　　　I　didn't　answer　her。　But　I　believed　her；　that　this　was　all　she　knew；　extreme　as　it　was。
　　　
　　　
　　　And　now　I　did　penetrate　her　mind；　calling　on　my　power　to　know　her　past　and　present；　to　know　her　most　secret　and　casual　thoughts。
　　　She　looked　at　me　with　clear　unquestioning　eyes；　as　if　she　felt　what　I　was　doing　to　her；　or　trying　to　do；　and　it　seemed　that　she　would　not　hold　anything　back。
　　　But　what　did　I　learn？　Only　that　she　had　told　me　the　truth。　/　know　no　more　of　your　beautiful　blood　drinker。　She　was　patient　with　me；　and　then　there　came　a　wave　of　true　grief。　/　loved　Eudoxia。　You　destroyed　her。　And　now　you　cannot　leave　me　alone。
　　　I　stood　up　and　went　again　to　walking　about　the　room。　Its　sumptuous
　　　　Byzantine　furnishings　stifled　me。　The　thick　patterned　hangings　seemed　to　fill　the　air　with　dust。　And　nowhere　could　I　glimpse　the　night　sky　from　this　chamber；　for　we　were　too　far　from　the　inner　garden　court。
　　　But　what　did　I　want　just　now？　Only　to　be　free　of　this　creature；　no；　free　of　the　whole　knowledge　of　her；　of　the　whole　awareness　of　her；　free　of　ever　having　seen　her；　and　that　was　quite　impossible；　was　it　not？
　　　Suddenly　a　sound　interrupted　me　and　I　realized　that　at　last　Avicus　and　Mael　had　e。
　　　They　found　their　way　through　the　many　rooms　to　the　bedchamber；　and　as　both　of　them　entered；　they　were　astonished　to　see　the　gorgeous　young　woman　seated　on　the　side　of　the　immense　heavily　draped　bed。
　　　I　stood　silent　while　the　two　of　them　absorbed　the　shock。　Immediately　
　　　　　Avicus　was　drawn　to　Zenobia；　as　drawn　to　her　as　he　had　been　to　Eudoxia；　and　this　creature　had　yet　to　speak　a　single　word。
　　　In　Mael　I　saw　suspicion　and　a　bit　of　concern。　He　looked　to　me　searchingly。　He　was　not　spell