anner.bloodandgold-第17部分

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　was　a　simple　matter　for　me　to　get　up　and　go　into　my　library　and　begin　writing；　for　all　the　drunken　guests　simply　went　on　with　each　other；　hardly　noticing　what　I　did　and　only　rousing　themselves　to　greet　me　when　I　returned。
　　　Understand；　I　did　not　bee　a　friend　to　any　of　these　dishonorable　or　disgraced　creatures。　I　was　only　a　warm…hearted　host　and　spectator　who　listened　without　criticism　and　never…until　dawn…turned　anyone　away。
　　　But　it　was　a　far　cry　from　my　former　solitude；　and　without　the　strengthening　blood　of　Akasha；　and　perhaps　without　my　quarrel　with　Avicus　and　Mael；　I　would　never　have　taken　this　step。
　　　And　so　my　house　became　crowded　and　noisy；　and　wine　sellers　sought　me　out　to　offer　their　new　vintages；　and　young　men　came　to　me；　begging　me　to　listen　to　their　songs。
　　　Even　a　few　fashionable　philosophers　appeared　at　my　door　from　time　to　time；　and　once　in　a　while　a　great　teacher；　and　these　I　enjoyed　immensely；　making　very　certain　that　the　lamps　were　very　dim　and　that
　　　the　rooms　were　most　shadowy；　so　frightened　was　I　that　the　sharp…minded　might　discover　that　I　was　not　what　I　pretended　to　be。
　　　　　As　for　my　trips　to　the　shrine　and　Those　Who　Must　Be　Kept；　I　knew　A　traveled　in　total　secrecy　for　my　mind　was　more　securely　cloaked。　
　　　　　And　on　certain　nights…when　the　banquet　in　my　house　could　well
　　　
　　　
　　　do　without　me…and　I　held　myself　to　be　entirely　safe　from　all　intrusion；　I　went　to　the　shrine　and　did　the　work　which　I　supposed　would　fort　my　poor　Akasha　and　Enkil。
　　　During　these　years；　rather　than　undertake　mosaics　which　had　proved　very　difficult　for　me　in　Antioch；　though　I　had　succeeded；　I　made　murals　on　the　walls　of　the　mon　kind　seen　in　so　many　Roman　houses；　of　frolicking　gods　and　goddesses　in　gardens　of　eternal　
　　　springtime　and　bounteous　flowers　and　fruit。
　　　I　was　hard　at　work　one　evening；　singing　to　myself；　happy　among　all　the　pots　of　paint　when　I　suddenly　realized　that　the　garden　I　was　
　　　faithfully　rendering　was　in　fact　the　garden　I　had　seen　when　I　drank　Akasha's
　　　blood。
　　　I　stopped；　sat　still　on　the　floor　of　the　shrine；　as　if　I　were　a　child；　with　crossed　legs；　and　looked　up　at　the　venerable　Parents。　Was　it　meant　to　be？
　　　I　had　no　idea。　The　garden　looked　vaguely　familiar。　Had　I　seen　such　a　garden　long　before　I　had　drunk　Akasha's　blood？　I　couldn't　remember。　And　I；　Marius；　prided　myself　upon　my　memory。　I　went　on　with　my　work。　I　covered　over　a　wall　and　started　all　over　again　to　render　it　more　nearly　perfect。　I　made　better　trees　and　shrubbery。　I　painted　the
　　　sunlight　and　the　effects　of　it　upon　green　leaves。
　　　When　inspiration　left　me；　I　would　use　my　blood　drinker　delicacy　to　creep　into　some　fashionable　villa　outside　the　walls　of　the　enormous　and　ever　expanding　city；　and　by　the　faintest　light　peruse　the　inevitably　lush　murals　for　new　figures；　new　dances；　new　attitudes　and　smiles。
　　　Of　course　I　could　do　this　easily　without　waking　anyone　in　the　house；　and　sometimes　I　need　have　no　worry　of　waking　anyone；　for　no　one　was　there。
　　　Rome　was　immense；　busy　as　ever；　but　with　all　the　wars；　with　all　the　shifting　politics　and　scheming　plotters　and　passing　Emperors；　people　were　being　banished　and　recalled　regularly；　and　great　houses　were　often　empty　for　me　to　quietly　wander　and　enjoy。
　　　Meanwhile；　in　my　house；　my　banquets　had　bee　so　famous　that　my　rooms　were　always　full。　And　no　matter　what　my　goal　for　any　night；　I　menced　it　among　the　warm　pany　of　drunkards　who'd　begun　their　feasting　and　quarreling　before　I　ever　arrived。
　　　〃Ah；　Marius；　wele！〃　they　would　cry　out　as　I　came　into　the　room。
　　　How　I　smiled　at　them　all；　my　treasured　pany。
　　　
　　　
　　　Never　did　anyone　suspect　me　of　anything；　and　I　did　grow　to　love　some　of　these　delightful　creatures；　but　always　I　remembered　that　I　was　a　predator　of　men；　and　could　not　therefore　be　loved　by　them；　and　so　I　kept　my　heart　covered　as　it　were。
　　　And　so　with　this　mortal　fort；　the　years　passed；　whilst　I　kept　myself　busy　with　the　energy　of　a　madman；　either　writing　in　my　journals　and　subsequently　burning　them；　or　painting　on　the　walls　of　the　shrine。
　　　Meantime；　the　wretched　serpent　worshiping　blood　drinkers　came　again；　attempting　to　establish　their　absurd　temple　within　one　of　the　neglected　catabs　where　mortal　Christians　no　longer　gathered；　and　once　again；　Avicus　and　Mael　drove　them　away。
　　　I　observed　all　this；　immensely　relieved　that　I　had　not　been　called　upon　to　do　anything；　and　painfully　remembering　when　I　had　slaughtered　such　a　band　in　Antioch　and　subsequently　fallen　into　the　piteous　madness　that　had　cost　me　the　love　of　Pandora　apparently　for　all　time。
　　　But　no；　not　for　all　time；　surely　she　would　e　to　me；　I　thought。　I　wrote　about　it　in　my　journals。
　　　I　put　down　my　pen；　I　closed　my　eyes。　I　longed　for　her。　I　prayed　that　she　would　e　to　me。　I　envisioned　her　with　her　rippling　brown　hair　and　melancholy　oval　face。　I　tried　to　remember　with　exactitude　the　shape　and　the　fine　color　of　her　dark　eyes。
　　　How　she　had　argued　with　me。　How　she　had　known　the　poets　and　philosophers。　How　she　had　been　able　to　reason。　And　I；　I　had　mocked　her　all　too　much。
　　　I　cannot　tell　you　how　many　years　passed　in　this　fashion。
　　　I　was　aware　that　even　though　we　did　not　speak　to　one　another；　or　even　face　each　other　in　the　street；　Avicus　and　Mael　had　bee　panions　to　me　by　their　very　presence。　And　as　for　their　keeping　Rome　clean　of　other　blood　drinkers；　I　was　in　their　debt。
　　　Now；　I　didn't　pay　much　attention　to　what　was　happening　with　the
　　　government　of　the　Empire　as　I　think　you　can　ascertain　from　all　I've　said。
　　　But　in　truth　I　cared　passionately　about　the　fate　of　the　Empire。　For　the　Empire　to　me　was　the　civilized　world。　And　though　I　was　a　secret　hunter　by　night；　a　filthy　killer　of　humans；　nevertheless　I　was　a　Roman；　and　I　lived　in　all　other　ways　a　civilized　life。
　　　I　suppose　that　I　assumed；　much　like　many　an　old　Senator　of　the　time；　that　sooner　or　later　the　endless　battles　of　the　Emperors　would　sort　themselves　out。　A　great　man；　with　the　strength　of　Octavian；　would　rise　to　unite　the　entire　world　once　again。
　　　Meantime　the　armies　would　patrol　the　borders；　endlessly　driving　back　the　barbarian　menace；　and　if　the　responsibility　fell；　over　and　over　again　to　the　armies　to　choose　an　Emperor；　so　be　it；　as　long　as　the　Empire　remained　intact。
　　　As　for　the　Christians　who　existed　everywhere；　I　did　not　know　what　to　make　of　them　at　all。　It　was　a　great　mystery　to　me　that　this　little　cult；　which　had　begun　in　Jerusalem　of　all　places；　could　have　grown　to　such　tremendous　size。
　　　Before　I'd　left　Antioch；　I'd　been　amazed　by　the　success　of　Christianity；　of　how　it　was　being　organized；　and　how　it　seemed　to　thrive　on　division　and　dissent。
　　　But　Antioch　was　the　East　as　I　have　said。　That　Rome　was　
　　　capitulating　to　the　Christians　was　beyond　my　wildest　dreams。　Slaves　had　everywhere　gone　over　to　the　new　religion；　but　so　had　men　and　women　of　high　position。　And　persecutions　had　no　effect　at　all。
　　　
　　　Before　I　continue；　however；　allow　me　to　point　out　what　other　historians
　　　have　also　pointed　out；　that　before　Christianity；　the　entire　ancient　world　lived　in　a　kind　of　religious　harmony。　No　one　persecuted　anyone　else　for　religion。
　　　Even　the　Jews　who　would　associate　with　no　one　else　were　easily　infolded　by　Greeks　and　Romans　and　allowed　to　practice　their　extremely　anti…social　beliefs。　It　was　they　who　rebelled　against　Rome；　not　Rome　which　sought　to　enslave　them。　And　so　this　harmony　was　worldwide。
　　　Of　course　all　of　this　led　me　to　believe；　when　I　first　heard　Christians　preaching；　that　there　was　no　chance　of　this　religion　gaining　ground。　It　placed　far　too　much　responsibility　upon　the　new　members　to　avoid　all　contact　with　the　revered　gods　of　Greece　and　Rome；　and　so　I　thought　the　sect　would　soon　die　out。
　　　Also　there　was　the　constant　strife　among　the　Christians　as　to　what　they　really　believed。　Surely　they　would　destroy　one　another；　I　thought；　and　the　whole　body　of　ideas；　or　whatever　it　could　be　called；　would　dissolve。
　　　But　no　such　thing　happened；　and　the　Rome　in　which　I　lived　in　the　three　hundreds　was　thronged　with　Christians；　as　I've　said。　For　their　apparently　magical　ceremonies；　they　met　in　the　catabs　and　also　in　private　homes。
　　　　
　　　Now　as　I　went　along；　watching　all　this；　and　yet　ignoring　it；　there　me　a　couple　of　events　which　stunned　me　out　of　my　dreams。
　　　Let　me　explain。
　　　
　　　As　I　have　said；　the　Emperors　of　Rome　were　constantly　at　war。　No　sooner　had　the　old　Roman　Senate　ratified　the　appointment　of　one　than　he　was　murdered　by　another。　And　troops　were　always　marching　across　the　far…flung　provinces　of　the　Empire　to　establish　a　new　Caesar　where　another　had　been　put　to　rout。
　　　In　the　year　of　305；　there　were　two　of　these　sovereigns　known　as　Augusti；　and　two　known　as　Caesars；　and　I　myself　did　not　know　precisely
　　　what　these　titles　meant。　Or　shall　I　say；　I　had　too　much　contempt　for　all　involved　to　know　what　they　meant。
　　　Indeed　these　so…called　〃Emperors〃　more　often　than　I　liked　were　invading　Italy　and　one　by　the　name　of　Severus　in　the　year　307　had　e　all　the　way　to　the　gates　of　Rome。
　　　Now　I；　with　little　more　than　the　greatness　of　Rome　to　keep　me　pany；　did　not　want　to　see　my　native　city　sacked！
　　　It　soon　became　clear　to　me　when　I　started　to　pay　attention　that　all　of　Italy　as　well　as　Sicily；　Corsica；　Sardinia　and　North　Africa　were　all　under　the　rule　of　the　〃Emperor〃　Maxentius；　and　it　was　he　who　had
　　　…repelled　Severus　and　was　now　repelling　yet　another　invader；　Galerius；　whom　he　chased　away　in　defeat。
　　　This　Maxentius　who　lived　only　six　miles　from　the　city　walls　was　himself　a　beast。　At　one　extremely　unhappy　event；　he　allowed　the　praetorians；　that　is；　his　personal　guards；　to　massacre　the　people　of　Rome。　And　he　was　very　against　the　Christians　whom　he　persecuted　needlessly　and　cruelly；　and　the　gossip　had　it　that　he　debauched　the　wives　of　
　　　outstanding　citizens；　thereby　giving　the　greater　offense。　In　fact；　the　　Senators　suffered　a　great　deal　of　abuse　at　his　hands；　while　he　let　his　soldiers　run　riot　in　Rome。
　　　None　of　this　meant　much　to　me；　however；　until　I　heard　that　one　of　me　other　Emperors…Constantine…was　marching　on　Rome。　This　was　the　third　threat　in　recent　years　to　my　beloved　city；　and　I　was　much　relieved　when　Maxentius　went　out　to　fight　the　important　battle　a　great　｜**e　distance　from　the　walls。　Of　course　he　did　this　because　he　knew　the
　　　Romans　would　not　support　him。
　　　But　who　could　have　known　that　this　was　to　be　one　of　the　most　decisive　battles　in　the　history　of　the　Western　world？　Of　course　the　battle　occurred　in　the　day　so　that　I　could　know　noth…
　　　
　　　ing　of　it　until　I　waked　with　the　setting　sun。　At　once；　I　rushed　up　the　stairs　from　my　underground　hiding　place　and；　ing　to　my　house；　I　found　all　my　regular　philosopher　guests　drunk；　and　I　went　out　into　the　streets　to　learn　what　I　could　from　the　citizenry　of　what　had　taken　place。　Constantine　was　pletely　the　victor。　He　had　massacred　the　troops　of　Maxentius　and　the　latter　had　fallen　into　the　Tiber　and　drowned。　But　what　was　most　significant　to　those　congregating　everywhere　was　the　rumor　that　before　Constantine　went　into　battle　he　had　seen　a　sign　in　the　sky　which　had　e　from　Jesus　Christ。
　　　Indeed　the　sign　had　been　made　manifest　right　after　noon　when　Constantine　had