rz.signoftheunicorn-第8部分

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ut　of　existence。　Turn　after　turn　after　turn　after　turn。。。　A　short；　sharp　arc。。。　The　line　that　led　to　the　Final　Veil。。。　I　imagine　I　was　gasping　and　drenched　with　sweat　by　then。　I　never　seem　to　remember　for　sure。　I　could　hardly　move　my　feet。　The　sparks　were　up　to　my　shoulders。　They　came　into　my　eyes　and　I　lost　sight　of　the　Pattern　itself　between　blinks。　In；　out；　in；　out。。。　There　it　was。　I　dragged　my　right　foot　forward；　knowing　how　Benedict　must　have　felt；　his　legs　snared　by　the　black　grass。　Right　before　I　rabbit…punched　him。　I　felt　bludgeoned　myself　…　all　over。　Left　foot；　forward。。。　So　slowly　it　was　hard　to　be　certain　it　was　actually　moving。　My　hands　were　blue　flames；　my　legs　pillars　of　fire。　Another　step。　Another。　Yet　another。
　I　felt　like　a　slowly　animated　statue；　a　thawing　snowman；　a　buckling　girder。。。　Two　more。。。　Three。。。　Glacial；　my　movements；　but　I　who　directed　them　had　all　of　eternity　and　a　perfect　constancy　of　will　that　would　be　realized。。。
　I　passed　through　the　Veil。　A　short　arc　followed。　Three　steps　to　cross　it　into　blackness　and　peace。　They　were　the　worst　of　all。
　A　coffee　break　for　Sisyphus！　That　was　my　first　thought　as　I　departed　the　Pattern。　I've　done　it　again！　was　my　second。　And；　Never　again！　was　my　third。
　I　allowed　myself　the　luxury　of　a　few　deep　breaths　and　a　little　shaking。　Then　I　unpocketed　the　jewel　and　raised　it　by　its　chain。　I　held　it　before　my　eye。
　Red　inside；　of　course　…　a　deep　cherry…red；　smokeshot；　fulgent。　It　seemed　to　have　picked　up　something　extra　of　light　and　glitter　during　the　trip　through　the　Pattern。　I　continued　to　stare；　thinking　over　the　instructions；　paring　them　with　things　I　already　knew。
　Once　you　have　walked　the　Pattern　and　reached　this　point；　you　can　cause　it　to　transport　you　to　any　place　that　you　can　visualize。　All　that　it　takes　is　the　desire　and　an　act　of　will。　Such　being　the　case；　I　was　not　without　a　moment's　trepidation。　If　the　effect　proceeded　as　it　normally　did；　I　could　be　throwing　myself　into　a　peculiar　sort　of　trap。　But　Eric　had　succeeded。　He　had　not　been　locked　into　the　heart　of　a　gem　somewhere　off　in　Shadow。　The　Dworkin　who　had　written　those　notes　had　been　a　great　man；　and　I　had　trusted　him。
　posing　my　mind；　I　intensified　my　security　of　the　stone's　interior。
　There　was　a　distorted　reflection　of　the　Pattern　within　it；　surrounded　by　winking　points　of　light；　tiny　flares　and　flashes；　different　curves　and　paths。　I　made　my　decision；　I　focused　my　will。。。
　Redness　and　slow　motion。　Like　sinking　into　an　ocean　of　high　viscosity。　Very　slowly；　at　first。　Drifting　and　darkening；　all　the　pretty　lights　far；　far　ahead。　Faintly；　my　apparent　velocity　increased。　Flakes　of　light；　distant；　intermittent。　A　trifle　faster　then；　it　seemed。　No　scale。　I　was　a　point　of　consciousness　of　indeterminate　dimensions。　Aware　of　movement；　aware　of　the　configuration　toward　which　I　advanced；　now　almost　rapidly。　The　redness　was　nearly　gone；　as　was　the　consciousness　of　any　medium。　Resistance　vanished。　I　was　speeding。　All　of　this；　now；　seemed　to　have　taken　but　a　single　instant；　was　still　taking　that　same　instant。　There　was　a　peculiar；　timeless　quality　to　the　entire　affair。　My　velocity　relative　to　what　now　seemed　my　target　was　enormous。　The　little；　twisted　maze　was　growing；　was　resolving　into　what　appeared　a　three…dimensional　variation　of　the　Pattern　itself。　Punctuated　by　flares　of　colored　light；　it　grew　before　me；　still　reminiscent　of　a　bizarre　galaxy　half　raveled　in　the　middle　of　the　ever…night；　haloed　with　a　pale　shine　of　dust；　its　streamers　posed　of　countless　flickering　points。　And　it　grew　or　I　shrank；　or　it　advanced　or　I　advanced；　and　we　were　near；　near　together；　and　it　filled　all　of　space　now；　top　to　bottom；　this　way　to　that；　and　my　personal　velocity　still　seemed；　if　anything；　to　be　increasing。　I　was　caught；　overwhelmed　by　the　blaze；　and　there　was　a　stray　streamer　which　I　knew　to　be　the　beginning。　I　was　too　close　…　lost；　actually　…　to　apprehend　its　over…all　configuration　any　longer；　but　the　buckling；　the　flickering；　the　weaving　of　all　that　I　could　see　of　it；　everywhere　about　me；　made　me　wonder　whether　three　dimensions　were　sufficient　to　account　for　the　senses…warping　plexities　with　which　I　was　confronted。　Rather　than　my　galactic　analogy；　something　in　my　mind　shifted　to　the　other　extreme；　suggesting　the　infinitely　dimensioned　Hilbert　space　of　the　subatomic。　But　then；　it　was　a　metaphor　of　desperation。　Truly　and　simply；　I　did　not　understand　anything　about　it。　I　had　only　a　growing　feeling　…　Pattern…conditioned？　Instinctive？　…　that　I　had　to　pass　through　this　maze　also　to　gain　the　new　degree　of　power　that　I　sought。
　Nor　was　I　incorrect。　I　was　swept　on　into　it　without　any　slackening　of　my　apparent　velocity。　I　was　spun　and　whirled　along　blazing　ways；　passing　through　substanceless　clouds　of　glitter　and　shine。　There　were　no　areas　of　resistance；　as　in　the　Pattern　itself；　my　initial　impetus　seeming　sufficient　to　bear　me　throughout。　A　whirlwind　tour　of　the　Milky　Way？　A　drowning　man　swept　among　canyons　of　coral？　An　insomniac　sparrow　passing　over　an　amusement　park　of　a　July　Fourth　evening？　These　my　thoughts　as　I　recapitulated　my　recent　passage　in　this　transformed　fashion。
　。。。　And　out；　through；　over；　and　done；　in　a　blaze　of　ruddy　light　that　found　me　regarding　myself　holding　the　pendant　beside　the　Pattern；　then　regarding　the　pendant；　Pattern　within　it；　within　me；　everything　within　me；　me　within　it；　the　redness　subsiding；　down；　gone。　Then　just　me；　the　pendant；　the　Pattern；　alone；　subject…object　relationships　reestablished　…　only　an　octave　higher；　which　I　feel　is　about　the　best　way　there　is　to　put　it。　For　a　certain　empathy　now　existed。　It　was　as　though　I　had　acquired　an　extra　sense；　and　an　additional　means　of　expression。　It　was　a　peculiar　sensation；　satisfying。
　Anxious　to　test　it；　I　summoned　my　resolve　once　again　and　manded　the　Pattern　to　transport　me　elsewhere。
　I　stood　then　in　the　round　room；　atop　the　highest　tower　in　Amber。　Crossing　it；　I　passed　outside；　onto　a　very　small　balcony。　The　contrast　was　powerful；　ing　so　close　to　the　supersensory　voyage　I　had　just　pleted。　For　several　long　moments　I　simply　stood　there；　looking。
　The　sea　was　a　study　in　textures；　as　the　sky　was　partly　overcast　and　getting　on　toward　evening。　The　clouds　themselves　showed　patterns　of　soft　brightness　and　rough　shading。　The　wind　made　its　way　seaward；　so　that　the　salt　smell　was　temporarily　denied　me。　Dark　birds　dotted　the　air；　swinging　and　hovering　at　a　great　distance　out　over　the　water。　Below　me；　the　palace　yards　and　the　terraces　of　the　city　lay　spread　in　enduring　elegance　out　to　Kolvir's　rim。　People　were　tiny　on　the　thoroughfares；　their　movements　discountable。　I　felt　very　alone。
　Then　I　touched　the　pendant　and　called　for　a　storm。
　
　
　Chapter　4
　
　Random　and　Flora　were　waiting　in　my　quarters　when　I　returned。　Random's　eyes　went　first　to　the　pendant；　then　to　my　own。　I　nodded。
　I　turned　toward　Flora；　bowing　slightly。
　〃Sister；〃　I　said；　〃it　has　been　a　while；　and　then　a　while。〃
　She　looked　somewhat　frightened；　which　was　all　to　the　good。　She　smiled　and　took　my　hand；　though。
　〃Brother；〃　she　said。　〃I　see　that　you　have　kept　your　word。〃
　Pale　gold；　her　hair。　She　had　cut　it；　but　retained　the　bangs。　I　could　not　decide　whether　I　liked　it　that　way　or　not。　She　had　very　lovely　hair。　Blue　eyes；　too；　and　tons　of　vanity　to　keep　everything　in　her　favorite　perspective。　At　times　she　seemed　to　behave　quite　stupidly；　but　then　at　other　times　I　have　wondered。
　〃Excuse　me　for　staring；〃　I　said；　〃but　the　last　time　that　we　met　I　was　unable　to　see　you。〃
　〃I　am　very　happy　that　the　situation　has　been　corrected；〃　she　said。　〃It　was　quite　…　There　was　nothing　that　I　could　do；　you　know。〃
　〃I　know；〃　I　said；　recalling　the　occasional　lilt　of　her　laughter　from　the　other　side　of　the　darkness　on　one　of　the　anniversaries　of　the　event。　〃I　know。〃
　I　moved　to　the　window　and　opened　it；　knowing　that　the　rain　would　not　be　ing　in。　I　like　the　smell　of　a　storm。
　〃Random；　did　you　learn　anything　of　interest　with　regard　to　a　possible　postman？〃　I　asked。
　〃Not　really；〃　he　said。　〃I　made　some　inquiries。　No　one　seems　to　have　seen　anyone　else　in　the　right　place　at　the　right　time。〃
　〃I　see；〃　I　said。　〃Thank　you。　I　may　see　you　again　later。〃
　〃All　right；〃　he　said。　〃I'll　be　in　my　quarters　all　evening；　then。〃
　I　nodded；　turned；　leaned　back　against　the　sill；　watched　Flora。　Random　closed　the　door　quietly　as　he　left。　I　listened　to　the　rain　for　half　a　minute　or　so。
　〃What　are　you　going　to　do　with　me？〃　she　said　finally。
　〃Do？〃
　〃You　are　in　a　position　to　call　for　a　settlement　on　old　debts。　I　assume　that　things　are　about　to　begin。〃
　〃Perhaps；〃　I　said。　〃Most　things　depend　on　other　things。　This　thing　is　no　different。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃
　〃Give　me　what　I　want；　and　we'll　see。　I　have　even　been　known　to　be　a　nice　guy　on　occasion。〃
　〃What　is　it　that　you　want？〃
　〃The　story。　Flora。　Let's　start　with　that。　Of　how　you　came　to　be　my　shepherdess　there　on　that　shadow；　Earth。　All　pertinent　details。　What　was　the　arrangement？　What　was　the　understanding？　Everything。　That's　all。〃
　She　sighed。
　〃The　beginning。。。〃　she　said。　〃Yes。。。　It　was　in　Paris；　a　party；　at　a　certain　Monsieur　Focault's。　This　was　about　three　years　before　the　Terror　…　〃
　〃Stop；〃　I　said。　〃What　were　you　doing　there？〃
　〃I　had　been　in　that　general　area　of　Shadow　for　approximately　five　of　their　years；〃　she　said。　〃I　had　been　wandering；　looking　for　something　novel；　something　that　suited　my　fancy。　I　came　upon　that　place　at　that　time　in　the　same　way　we　find　anything。　I　let　my　desires　lead　me　and　I　followed　my　instincts。〃
　〃A　peculiar　coincidence。〃
　〃Not　in　light　of　all　the　time　involved　…　and　considering　the　amount　of　travel　in　which　we　indulge。　It　was；　if　you　like；　my　Avalon；　my　Amber　surrogate；　my　home　away　from　home。　Call　it　what　you　will；　I　was　there；　at　that　party；　that　October　night；　when　you　came　in　with　the　little　redheaded　girl　…　Jacqueline；　I　believe；　was　her　name。〃
　That　brought　it　back；　from　quite　a　distance；　a　memory　I　hadn't　called　for　in　a　long；　long　while。　I　remembered　Jacqueline　far　better　than　I　did　Focault's　party；　but　there　had　been　such　an　occasion。
　〃Go　ahead。〃
　〃As　I　said；〃　she　went　on；　〃I　was　there。　You　arrived　later。　You　caught　my　attention　immediately；　of　course。　Still；　if　one　exists　for　a　sufficiently　long　period　of　time　and　travels　considerably；　one　does　occasionally　encounter　a　person　greatly　resembling　someone　else　one　has　known。　That　was　my　first　thought　after　the　initial　excitement　faded。　Surely　it　had　to　be　a　double。　So　much　time　had　passed　without　a　whisper。　Yet　we　all　have　secrets　and　good　reasons　for　having　them。　This　could　be　one　of　yours。　So　I　saw　that　we　were　introduced　and　then　had　a　devil　of　a　time　getting　you　away　from　that　little　redheaded　piece　for　more　than　a　few　minutes。　And　you　insisted　your　name　was　Fenneval　…　Cordell　Fenneval。　I　grew　uncertain。　I　could　not　tell　whether　it　was　a　double　or　you　playing　games。　The　third　possibility　did　cross　my　mind；　though　…　that　you　had　dwelled　in　some　adjacent　area　of　Shadow　for　a　sufficient　time　to　cast　shadows　of　yourself。　I　might　have　departed　still　wondering　had　not　Jacqueline　later　boasted　to　me　concerning　your　strength。　Now　this　is　not　the　monest　subject　of　conversation　for　a　woman；　and　the　way　in　which　she　said　it　led　me　to　bel