rj.theshadowrising-第132部分

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　　　　　　　She　left　then；　and　Faile　sat　on　the　edge　of　the　bed　blotting　his　face　with　a　folded　cloth。　He　seemed　to　be　sweating　a　great　deal　for　some　reason。
　　　　　　　〃I　blundered；〃　he　said　after　a　time。　〃No；　that　is　too　soft。　I　don't　know　the　right　word。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　did　not　blunder；〃　she　said　firmly。　〃You　did　what　seemed　fitting　at　the　time。　It　was　fitting；　I　cannot　imagine　how　they　got　behind　us。　Gaul　is　not　one　to　make　a　mistake　about　where　his　enemies　are。　Ihvon　was　right；　Perrin。　Anyone　can　find　circumstances　that　have　changed　when　he　did　not　know。　You　held　everyone　together。　You　brought　us　out。〃
　　　　　　　He　shook　his　head　hard　and　made　his　side　hurt　worse。　〃Ihvon　brought　us　out。　What　I　did　was　get　twenty…seven　men　killed；〃　he　said　bitterly；　trying　to　sit　up　to　face　her。　〃Some　of　them　were　my　friends；　Faile。　And　I　got　them　killed。〃
　　　　　　　Faile　threw　her　weight　on　his　shoulders　to　push　him　back　down。　It　was　a　measure　of　his　weakness；　how　easily　she　held　him。　〃There　will　be　time　enough　for　that　in　the　morning；〃　she　said　firmly；　peering　down　into　his　face；　〃when　we　have　to　put　you　back　on　your　horse。　Ihvon　did　not　bring　us　out；　I　do　not　think　he　cared　particularly　if　anyone　but　you　and　he　did　get　out。　Those　men　would　have　scattered　in　every　direction　if　not　for　you；　and　then　we'd　all　have　been　hunted　down。　They　would　not　have　held　together　for　Ihvon；　a　stranger。　As　for　your　friends　…〃　Sighing；　she　sat　back　down　again。　〃Perrin；　my　father　says　a　general　can　take　care　of　the　living　or　weep　for　the　dead；　but　he　cannot　do　both。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　am　not　a　general；　Faile。　I　am　a　fool　of　a　blacksmith　who　thought　he　could　use　other　people　to　help　him　get　justice；　or　maybe　revenge。　I　still　want　it；　but　I　don't　want　to　use　anyone　else　for　it　any　longer。〃
　　　　　　　〃Do　you　think　the　Trollocs　will　go　away　because　you　decide　your　motives　are　not　pure　enough？〃　The　heat　in　her　voice　made　him　raise　his　head；　but　she　pushed　it　back　to　the　pillow　almost　roughly。　〃Are　they　any　less　vile？　Do　you　need　a　purer　reason　to　fight　them　than　what　they　are？　Another　thing　my　father　says。　The　worst　sin　a　general　can　mit；　worse　than　blundering；　worse　than　losing；　worse　than　anything；　is　to　desert　the　men　who　depend　on　him。〃
　　　　　　　A　tap　came　at　the　door；　and　a　slender；　handsome　young　Tinker　in　a　red…and…green　striped　coat　put　his　head　in。　He　flashed　a　smile　at　Faile；　all　white　teeth　and　oozing　charm；　before　looking　at　Perrin。　〃Grandfather　said　it　was　you。　I　thought　this　was　where　Egwene　said　she　came　from。〃　He　frowned　suddenly；　disapprovingly。　〃Your　eyes。　I　see　you　have　followed　Elyas　after　all；　to　run　with　the　wolves。　I　was　sure　you　would　never　find　the　Way　of　the　Leaf。〃
　　　　　　　Perrin　knew　him；　Aram；　Raen　and　Ila's　grandson。　He　did　not　like　him；　he　smiled　like　Wil　〃Go　away；　Aram。　I　am　tired。〃
　　　　　　　〃Is　Egwene　with　you？〃
　　　　　　　〃Egwene's　Aes　Sedai　now；　Aram；〃　he　growled；　〃and　she　would　rip　your　heart　out　with　the　One　Power　if　you　asked　her　to　dance。　Go　away！〃
　　　　　　　Aram　blinked；　and　hastily　shut　the　door。　With　himself　outside。
　　　　　　　Perrin　let　his　head　fall　back。　〃He　smiles　too　much；〃　he　muttered。　〃I　cannot　abide　a　man　who　smiles　too　much。〃　Faile　made　a　choking　noise；　and　he　looked　at　her　suspiciously。　She　was　biting　her　underlip。
　　　　　　　〃I　have　something　in　my　throat；〃　she　said　in　a　strangled　voice；　getting　up　hastily。　She　hurried　to　the　wide　shelf　below　the　foot　of　the　bed　where　Ila　had　prepared　her　poultice　and　stood　with　her　back　to　him；　pouring　water　from　a　green…and…red　pitcher　into　a　blue…and…yellow　mug。　〃Would　you　like　something　to　drink；　too？　Ila　left　this　powder；　for　the　pain。　It　will　help　you　sleep。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　don't　want　any　powder；〃　he　said。　〃Faile；　who　is　your　father？〃
　　　　　　　Her　back　went　very　stiff。　After　a　moment　she　turned　with　the　mug　in　both　hands　and　an　unreadable　look　in　her　tilted　eyes。　Another　minute　passed　before　she　said；　〃My　father　is　Davram　of　House　Bashere；　Lord　of　Bashere；　Tyr　and　Sidona；　Guardian　of　the　Blightborder；　Defender　of　the　Heartland；　Marshal…General　to　Queen　Tenobia　of　Saldaea。　And　her　uncle。〃
　　　　　　　〃Light！　What　was　all　that　about　him　being　a　wood　merchant；　or　a　fur　dealer？　I　seem　to　remember　him　dealing　in　ice　peppers　once；　too。〃
　　　　　　　〃It　was　not　a　lie；〃　she　said　sharply；　then　in　a　weaker　voice；　〃Just　not。。。　the　whole　truth。　My　father's　estates　do　produce　lumber　and　fine　woods；　and　ice　peppers；　and　furs；　and　more　besides。　And　his　stewards　sell　them　for　him；　so　he　does　trade　in　them。　In　a　way。〃
　　　　　　　〃Why　couldn't　you　just　tell　me？　Hiding　things。　Lying。　You're　a　lady！〃　He　frowned　at　her　accusingly。　He　had　not　expected　this。　A　small　merchant　for　a　father；　a　former　soldier；　maybe；　but　not　this。　〃Light；　what　are　you　doing　running　around　as　a　Hunter　of　the　Horn？　Don't　tell　me　the　Lord　of　Bashere　and　all　that　just　sent　you　off　to　find　adventure。〃
　　　　　　　Still　holding　the　cup；　she　came　back　to　sit　beside　him。　For　some　reason　she　seemed　very　intent　on　his　face。　〃My　two　older　brothers　died；　Perrin；　one　fighting　Trollocs；　the　other　in　a　fall　from　his　horse　hunting。　That　made　me　the　eldest；　and　it　meant　I　had　to　study　account　books　and　trading。　While　my　younger　brothers　learned　to　be　soldiers；　while　they　were　being　readied　for　adventures；　I　had　to　learn　how　to　manage　the　estates！　It　is　the　eldest's　duty。　Duty！　It　is　dull；　dry　and　boring。　Buried　in　paper　and　clerks。
　　　　　　　〃When　Father　took　Maedin　with　him　to　the　Blightborder　…　he's　two　years　younger　than　I　…　that　was　more　than　I　could　stand。　Girls　are　not　taught　the　sword；　or　war；　in　Saldaea；　but　father　had　named　an　old　soldier　from　his　first　mand　as　my　footman；　and　Eran　was　always　more　than　happy　to　teach　me　to　use　knives　and　fight　with　my　hands。　I　think　it　amused　him。　In　any　case；　when　Father　took　Maedin　with　him；　the　news　had　arrived　calling　the　Great　Hunt　of　the　Horn；　so　I。。。　left。　I　wrote　Mother　a　letter　explaining；　and　I。。。　left。　And　I　reached　Illian　in　time　to　take　the　oath　of　a　Hunter。。。〃　Picking　up　the　cloth；　she　patted　at　the　sweat　on　his　face　again。　〃You　really　should　sleep　if　you　can。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　suppose　you　are　the　Lady　Bashere　or　some　such？〃　he　said。　〃How　did　you　ever　e　to　like　a　mon　blacksmith？〃
　　　　　　　〃The　word　is　'love；'　Perrin　Aybara。〃　The　firmness　of　her　voice　was　at　sharp　odds　with　the　gentle　way　that　the　cloth　moved　on　his　face。　〃And　you　are　not　such　a　mon　blacksmith；　I　think。〃　The　cloth　paused。　〃Perrin；　what　did　that　fellow　mean　about　running　with　wolves？　Raen　mentioned　this　Elyas；　too。〃
　　　　　　　For　a　moment　he　was　frozen；　unbreathing。　Yet　he　had　just　berated　her　for　keeping　secrets　from　him。　It　was　what　he　got　for　being　hasty　and　angry。　Swing　a　hammer　in　haste；　and　you　usually　hit　your　own　thumb。　He　exhaled　slowly；　and　told　her。　How　he　had　met　Elyas　Machera　and　learned　he　could　talk　to　wolves。　How　his　eyes　had　changed　color；　grown　sharper；　and　his　hearing　and　his　sense　of　smell；　like　a　wolf's。　About　the　wolf　dream。　About　what　would　happen　to　him；　if　he　ever　lost　his　hold　on　humanity。　〃It's　so　easy。　Sometimes；　especially　in　the　dream；　I　forget　I'm　a　man；　not　a　wolf。　If　one　of　these　times　I　don't　remember　quickly　enough；　if　I　lose　hold；　I'll　be　a　wolf。　In　my　head；　at　least。　A　sort　of　half…wrong　image　of　a　wolf。　There　won't　be　anything　of　me　left。〃　He　stopped；　waiting　for　her　to　flinch；　to　move　away。
　　　　　　　〃If　your　ears　are　really　that　sharp；〃　she　said　calmly；　〃I　will　have　to　watch　what　I　say　close　to　you。〃
　　　　　　　He　caught　her　hand　to　stop　her　patting。　〃Did　you　hear　anything　I　said？　What　will　your　father　and　mother　think；　Faile？　A　half…wolf　blacksmith。　You're　a　lady！　Light！〃
　　　　　　　〃I　heard　every　word。　Father　will　approve。　He　has　always　said　our　family　blood　is　growing　too　soft；　not　like　it　was　in　the　old　days。　I　know　he　thinks　I　am　terribly　soft。〃　She　gave　him　a　smile　fierce　enough　for　any　wolf。　〃Of　course；　Mother　always　wanted　me　to　marry　a　king　who　splits　Trollocs　in　two　with　one　stroke　of　his　sword。　I　suppose　your　axe　will　suffice；　but　could　you　tell　her　you　are　the　king　of　the　wolves？　I　don't　think　anyone　will　e　forward　to　dispute　your　claim　to　that　throne。　In　truth；　the　splitting　of　Trollocs　will　probably　do　for　Mother；　but　I　truly　think　she　would　like　the　other。〃
　　　　　　　〃Light！〃　he　said　hoarsely。　She　sounded　almost　serious。　No；　she　did　sound　serious。　If　she　was　even　half　serious；　he　was　not　sure　the　Trollocs　might　not　be　better　than　meeting　her　parents。
　　　　　　　〃Here；〃　she　said；　holding　the　mug　of　water　to　his　lips。　〃You　sound　as　though　your　throat　is　dry。〃
　　　　　　　Swallowing；　he　spluttered　at　the　bitter　taste。　She　had　stirred　in　Ila's　powder！　He　tried　to　stop；　but　she　filled　his　mouth；　and　it　was　a　matter　of　swallow　or　choke。　By　the　time　he　could　push　the　mug　away；　she　had　emptied　half　of　it　into　him。　Why　did　medicine　always　taste　so　vile？　He　suspected　women　did　it　on　purpose。　He　would　have　bet　that　whatever　they　took　for　themselves　did　not　taste　that　way。　〃I　told　you　I　did　not　want　any　of　that。　Gaaah！〃
　　　　　　　〃Did　you？　I　must　not　have　heard。　But　whether　you　did　or　not；　you　need　sleep。〃　She　stroked　his　curly　hair。　〃Sleep；　my　Perrin。〃
　　　　　　　He　tried　to　tell　her　he　had　indeed　told　her　so；　and　she　had　heard　it；　but　the　words　seemed　to　tangle　around　his　tongue。　His　eyes　wanted　to　slide　shut。　In　fact；　he　could　not　keep　them　open。　The　last　thing　he　heard　was　her　soft　murmurs。
　　　　　　　〃Sleep；　my　wolf　king。　Sleep。〃


Chapter　42
（Wolf）
A　Missing　Leaf

　　　　　　　Perrin　stood　near　the　Tuatha'an　wagons　under　bright　sunlight；　alone；　and　there　was　no　arrow　in　his　side；　no　pain。　Among　the　wagons　firewood　was　stacked　ready　to　be　lit　beneath　iron　cookpots　hanging　from　tripods；　and　clothes　hung　from　washlines；　there　were　no　people　or　horses。　He　wore　neither　coat　nor　shirt；　but　a　blacksmith's　long　leather　vest　that　left　his　arms　bare。　It　could　have　been　any　dream；　perhaps；　except　that　he　was　aware　it　was　a　dream。　And　he　knew　the　feel　of　the　wolf　dream；　the　reality　and　solidity　of　it；　from　the　long　grass　around　his　boots　to　the　breeze　out　of　the　west　that　ruffled　his　curly　hair；　to　the　scattered　ash　and　hemlock。　The　Tinkers'　gaudy　wagons　did　not　seem　real；　though；　they　had　an　air　of　insubstantiality；　a　feel　that　they　might　shimmer　and　be　gone　any　moment。　They　never　remained　long　in　one　place；　Tinkers。　No　soil　held　them。
　　　　　　　Wondering　how　much　the　land　held　him；　he　rested　a　hand　on　his　axe　…　and　looked　down　in　surprise。　The　heavy　blacksmith's　hammer　hung　in　the　loop　on　his　belt；　not　the　axe。　He　frowned；　once　he　would　have　chosen　that　way；　had　even　thought　he　had；　but　surely　no　more。　The　axe。　He　had　chosen　the　axe。　Hammerhead　suddenly　became　half…moon　blade　and　thick　spike；　flickered　back　to　stout　cylinder　of　cold　steel；　fluttered　between。　Finally　it　stopped；　as　his　axe；　and　he　exhaled　slowly。　That　had　never　happened　before。　Here；　he　could　change　things　as　he　wanted　with　ease；　things　about　himself　at　least。　〃And　I　want　the　axe；〃　he　said　firmly。　〃The　axe。〃
　　　　　　　Looking　around；　he　could　just　see　a　farmhouse　to　the　south；　arid　deer　browsing　the　barley　field；　surrounded　by　a　rough　stone　wall。　There　was　no　feel　of　wolves；　and　he　did　not　call　Hopper。　The　wolf　might　or　might　not　e；　or　even　hear；　but　Slayer　could　well　be　out　there　somewhere。　A　bristling　quiver　abruptly　tugged　at　his　belt　opposite　the　axe；　and　he　had　a　stout　longbow　in　his　hand　with　a　broadhead　arrow　no