cb.coldheart canyon-第60部分

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en　deposited。
　 〃Thank　you；　it's　all　fine；〃　Tammy　said。
　 Todd　went　into　his　jeans　pocket　and　pulled　out　a　bundle　of　notes。　He　selected　a　twenty…much　to　the　antiquated　waiter's　delight…and　gave　it　to　the　man。
　 〃Thank　you　very　much　sir；〃　he　said；　exiting　rather　faster　than　he'd　entered；　in　case　the　man　in　the　filthy　jeans　changed　his　mind。
　 They　set　to　eating。
　 〃You　know　what？〃　Todd　said。
　 〃What？〃
　 〃I　think　I　should　go　and　see　Maxine。　Ask　her　what　she　knows；　face　to　face。　Maybe　this　was　all　some　kind　of　set　up…〃
　 〃If　you　get　her　on　the　phone…？〃
　 〃She'll　lie。〃
　 〃You've　had　that　experience？〃
　 〃Several　times。〃
　 〃Where　does　she　live？〃
　 〃Well　she's　got　three　houses。　A　house　in　Aspen；　a　place　in　the　Hamptons　and　a　house　in　Malibu。〃
　 〃Oh　how　she　must　suffer；〃　Tammy　said；　teasing　a　piece　of　crispy　bacon　out　of　her　sandwich　and　nibbling　on　it。　〃Only　three　houses？　How　does　she　manage？〃
　 〃So　eat　up。　We'll　just　drop　in　on　her。〃
　 〃Both　of　us？〃
　 〃Both　of　us。　That　way　she　can't　tell　me　I'm　crazy。　What　I　saw；　you　saw。〃
　 〃Actually；　I　saw　some　shit　you　didn't　see。〃
　 〃Well；　we'll　be　sure　to　get　some　answers　from　her。〃
　 〃Are　you　certain　you　want　me　to　e？〃
　 〃There's　safety　in　numbers；〃　Todd　said。　〃Drink　your　coffee　and　let's　get　going。〃
　
　
　FIVE
　 Katya　hadn't　wasted　any　time　weeping　over　Todd's　departure。　What　was　the　use？　She'd　shed　more　than　her　share　of　tears　over　men　and　their　betrayals　across　the　years。　What　good　had　any　of　her　weeping　ever　done　her？
　 Besides；　it　wasn't　as　if　she'd　truly　lost　the　man；　he'd　simply　drifted　away　from　her　for　a　few　hours；　that　was　all。　She'd　get　him　back；　humbled　and　begging　to　be　returned　into　her　pany。　After　all；　hadn't　she　let　him　kiss　her？　Hadn't　she　let　him　fuck　her；　there　in　the　Devil's　Country？　He　could　never　forget　those　memories。
　 Oh；　he　could　try。　He　could　put　a　hundred　women；　a　thousand；　between　the　two　of　them；　but　it　wouldn't　work。　Sooner　or　later　he'd　e　crawling　back　to　her　for　more　of　what　only　she　could　give　him；　and　nothing　that　fat　bitch　of　a　woman　who'd　coaxed　him　away　could　say　would　keep　him　from　ing　back。　A　man　like　Todd　had　nothing　in　mon　with　a　creature　like　that。　He　understood　the　world　in　ways　she　could　not　even　guess　at。　What　hope　did　she　have　of　seeing　with　his　eyes；　even　for　a　moment？　None。　She　was　a　workhorse。　Todd　had　lived　with　beauty　too　long　to　put　up　with　the　presence　of　something　so　charmless　for　very　long。　After　a　few　hours　of　her　clumsy　pany；　he'd　be　off。
　 She　had　only　one　fear：　that　owing　to　the　artful　way　her　Canyon　had　been　hidden；　he　wouldn't　be　able　to　find　his　way　back　to　her。
　 The　city　had　never　been　a　simple　place　even　during　the　years　she'd　lived　in　it；　it　was　easy　to　get　lost　or　distracted。　How　much　more　plicated　would　it　be　now；　especially　for　someone　like　her　poor　Todd；　whose　soul　was　so　muddled　and　confused。　She　knew　how　that　felt；　to　have　everyone　falling　over　themselves　to　adore　you　one　moment；　and　the　next　to　find　that　those　same　people　had　given　their　devotions　over　to　somebody　else。　It　turned　everything　upside　down　when　that　happened；　nothing　made　sense　anymore。　You　started　looking　around　for　something　to　hold　on　to；　something　firm　and　solid；　that　wouldn't　be　taken　away。　In　such　a　mood　of　desperation；　it　was　possible　you　could　make　a　mistake：　choose　the　wrong　person　to　believe　in；　the　wrong　path　to　follow。　Even　now；　he　could　be　moving　away　from　her。
　 The　more　she　contemplated　that　prospect　the　more　it　became　apparent　that　she　was　going　to　have　to　go　and　find　him。
　 The　idea　of　venturing　out　of　her　Canyon　filled　her　with　a　mingling　of　fear　and　anticipation。
　 The　world！　The　great；　wide　world！
　 It　was　three　quarters　of　a　century　since　she'd　stepped　beyond　the　bounds　of　the　Canyon；　and　though　she'd　had　plenty　of　clues　as　to　the　way　things　had　changed；　from　those　who'd　e　here　after　their　decease；　it　would　still　be　an　intimidating　experience　for　her　to　venture　out　there；　even　on　a　mission　of　love。
　 But　what　other　choice　did　she　have？　Without　him；　her　hopes　were　in　ruins。　She　had　to　go　and　find　him；　it　was　as　simple　as　that。　And　on　the　way　back；　once　they　were　together　again　maybe　she'd　have　the　strength　of　heart　to　visit　some　of　the　places　she'd　known　and　loved　in　her　youth；　just　to　see　how　time　had　altered　them。　But　then　again　perhaps　that　wouldn't　be　such　a　good　idea。　It　troubled　her　enough　to　look　out　of　the　window　and　see　the　stretches　of　land　that　had　been　dust　roads　and　shacks　and　orange　groves　in　her　time　now　pletely　transformed　into　towers　of　steel　and　glass。　What　if　she　were　to　discover　that　some　precious　place　she'd　loved　had　been　desecrated；　rendered　unrecognizable？　Though　she　liked　to　think　she　was　fearless；　in　truth　time　was　taking　its　toll　on　the　resilience　of　her　soul。
　 But　then；　of　course；　this　whole　quest　was　a　test　of　her　strength；　wasn't　it？
　 Venturing　beyond　the　perimeters　of　her　Canyon；　beyond　the　reach　of　the　magic　that　had　preserved　her　perfection；　was　gambling　with　her　life。　She　had　no　way　of　knowing　for　certain　but　she　guessed　that　the　further　she　ventured；　and　the　longer　she　remained　away　from　the　Canyon；　from　the　house　and　all　it　contained；　the　more　vulnerable　she'd　be　to　the　long…postponed　indignities　of　old　age。　After　all；　a　beneath　this　veneer　of　youth　she　was　a　Methuselah。　How　long　could　she　afford　to　be　out　in　the　raptureless　world　before　the　shell　cracked　and　the　crone　inside；　the　hag　that　the　Devil's　Country　had　obscured　with　its　magic；　was　unveiled？
　 It　was　terrifying。　But　in　the　end；　it　came　down　to　this：　finding　Todd　was　worth　the　risk。　If　she　survived　the　journey　they　would　e　back　to　the　Canyon　and　initiate　a　new　Golden　Age。　It　wouldn't　be　like　the　previous　Age　of　Gold；　with　its　foolish　excesses。　This　would　be　a　more　profoundly　felt　time；　when　instead　of　using　the　Devil's　Country　like　a　cross　between　a　two…bit　ghost…train　ride　and　a　fountain　of　youth；　it　would　be　respected　as　the　mystery　it　was。
　 Despite　the　perverse　pride　she'd　taken　in　showing　Todd　the　orgiasts　in　the　Canyon；　and　in　letting　him　share　their　excesses；　Katya's　appetite　for　the　witless　hedonism　of　the　twenties　had　long　since　passed　away。　And　though　Todd　had　happily　played　the　sensualist；　she　was　sure　that　he　too　had　seen　enough　of　the　tawdriness　of　such　spectacles。　It　was　time　they　behaved　as　owners　of　something　genuinely　marvelous；　and　treated　it　respectfully。　Together；　they　would　begin　an　exploration　of　the　world　Lilith　had　made。　Katya　had　never　possessed　the　courage　to　explore　as　it　deserved　to　be　explored；　road　by　road；　grove　by　sacred　grove。　Certainly　she'd　seen　plenty　there　over　the　years　that　had　inflamed　her　sexual　self　（women　tethered　to　the　underbellies　of　human…horses；　in　a　constant　state　of　ecstatic　agony）；　and　she　would　not　scorn　such　spectacles　if　they　came　on　them　again。　But　these　were　other　sights；　designed　to　arouse　the　spirit　not　the　loins；　and　it　was　to　those　places　she　wanted　to　take　Todd。
　 There　were　enough　diversions　and　wonders　to　keep　them　enchanted　for　decades　to　e。　Though　the　heavens　were　fixed　in　the　same　configuration　whenever　she　visited　the　Country；　there　was　nevertheless　evidence　that　the　earth　was　still　obeying　some　of　its　ancient　rhythms。
　 There　was；　for　instance；　in　the　swamp；　a　manmade　lake　perhaps　half　a　mile　wide；　which　seemed　to　have　been　for　many　generations　the　place　where　a　certain　species　of　eel；　the　infants　silver…blue；　with　great　golden　eyes；　came　in　their　millions…each　no　longer　than　her　little　finger…but　sufficient　in　number　that　they　filled　the　place　of　their　birth　to　brimming　when　they　spawned。　For　a　day…when　the　larval　eels　appeared…this　Genesis　Bowl；　as　Katya　had　named　it；　was　a　feasting　place　for　birds　of　every　kind；　who　were　literally　able　to　walk　on　the　squirming　backs　of　their　feast；　taking　all　they　could　before　lifting　off　（some　so　fat　with　food　they　could　barely　fly）　and　retiring　to　the　nearest　branch　to　digest　their　mighty　meal。　The　next　day　（if　the　Country　could　be　said　to　have　days）　the　Genesis　Bowl　was　empty；　but　for　a　few　thousand　runts　that　had　perished　in　the　exodus；　and　were　being　picked　up　by　carrion　cows　and　wild　dogs。
　 She　wanted　to　show　this　glorious　spectacle　to　Todd；　wanted　to　wade　into　the　living　mass　of　baby　eels　and　feel　them　against　her　naked　flesh。
　 On　another　day　they　might　to　a　place　she　knew　where　there　was　a　beast　that　spoke　prophetic　riddles；　which　had　twice　engaged　her　in　conversation　which　she　knew　would　make　sense　if　she　had　the　education　to　decode　its　strange　poetry。　It　had　the　body　of　a　huge　bird；　this　tiddler；　with　a　man's　head；　and　it　sat；　close　to　the　ground；　with　a　vast　array　of　glittering　gifts　around　the　base　of　its　tree；　offered　for　its　prophecies。　She'd　e　to　it　a　year　ago；　with　some　jewelry　she　had　worn　in　Nefertiti。
　 〃Is　it　real；　the　gift　you　give　me？〃　the　creature；　whose　name　was　Yiacaxis；　had　asked　her。
　 〃No；〃　she　had　admitted。　〃I　am　an　actress。　These　baubles　are　what　I　wore　when　I　was　an　actress。〃
　 〃Then　make　them　real　for　me；〃　Yiacaxis　had　said；　clicking　his　old　grey　tongue　against　his　cracked　beak。　〃Play　me　the　scene　in　which　you　wore　them。〃
　 〃It　was　silent；〃　she　said。
　 〃That's　good；〃　he　replied。　〃For　I　am　very　deaf　in　my　old　age。〃
　 She　shed　most　of　her　clothes；　and　put　on　the　jewelry。　Then　she　played　the　scene　from　Nefertiti　in　which　she　discovers　that　her　lover　is　dead　by　the　order　of　the　envious　Queen；　and　she　kills　herself　out　of　tragic　longing　for　him。
　 The　old　bird…man　wept　freely　at　her　performance。
　 〃I'm　pleased　it　moved　you　so　much；〃　Katya　had　said　when　she　was　done。
　 〃I　accept　your　offering；〃　the　creature　had　replied；　〃and　I　will　give　you　your　answer。〃
　 〃But　you　don't　even　know　my　question　yet。〃
　 Yiacaxis　clicked　and　cocked　his　head。　〃I　know　you　wonder　if　there　will　ever　be　a　love　worth　dying　for　in　your　life？　Is　that　your　question？〃
　 〃Yes；〃　she　said。　She　would　perhaps　not　have　asked　it　that　way；　but　the　prophet　was　notoriously　short…tempered　with　those　who　attempted　to　press　him。
　 〃There　are　two　multitudes；〃　he　said。　〃One　within　you。　One　without。　Should　he　love　you　enough　to　name　one　of　these　legions；　then　you　will　live　in　bliss　with　the　other。〃
　 Of　course　she　desperately　wanted　to　ask　him　what　this　meant；　but　the　audience　was　apparently　already　over；　for　Yiacaxis　was　raising　his　black　wings；　which　were　lined　with　little　knots　of　human　hair；　tied　up　in　ribbons　that　had　long…ago　lost　their　colour。　Thousands　of　locks　of　hair；　in　wings　that　spread　perhaps　twenty　feet　from　tip　to　tip。　Without　further　word；　he　closed　them　over　his　melancholy　face；　and　the　shadows　of　the　tree　seemed　to　close　around　him　a　second　time；　so　that　he　was　invisible。
　 Perhaps；　if　she　had　the　courage；　she　would　go　back　to　Yiacaxis；　with　Todd；　and　ask　him　another　question。　Or　this　time　Todd　should　do　the　asking。
　 And　when　they　had　questioned　the　Prophet　Bird；　and　seen　half　a　hundred　other　wonders　in　the　Devil's　Country；　Katya　would　take　Todd　to　a　certain　ship　with　which　she　was　familiar；　which　had　surely　been　made　for　a　king；　it　was　so　finely　wrought。
　 It　had　foundered　on　some　rocks　along　the　shore；　and　there　it　had　been　left；　high　and　dry；　many　years　ago。　For　some　reason　no　looter　had　ever　attempted　to　despoil　this　sublime　vessel；　perhap