cb.coldheart canyon-第52部分

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s　so　vivid　they　were　more　real　than　real。　And　it　addicted　the　soul；　because　you　didn't　want　any　other　kind　of　fort；　once　you'd　been　in　the　room。　Prayer　was　no　use　to　you；　laughter　was　no　use　to　you；　friends；　ideals；　ambitions。。。they　all　seemed　inconsequential　in　that　perpetual　twilight。　When　you　were　here；　you　thought　all　the　time　about　being　there。〃
　 Again　Tammy　shook　her　head。　There　was　so　much　here　to　try　and　make　sense　of。　Her　mind　was　reeling。
　 〃Do　you　see　now　why　you　must　leave；　and　forget　about　Todd？　He's　seen　the　room。　That's　where　she　took　him。〃
　 〃Are　you　sure？〃
　 〃He's　down　there　right　now；〃　Zeffer　said。　〃I　guarantee　it。　Where　else　would　she　take　him？〃
　 Tammy　got　up　from　the　table。　The　food　had　done　her　good。　Though　she　still　felt　a　little　light…headed；　she　was　considerably　stronger。
　 〃There's　nothing　heroic　about　sacrificing　yourself　for　him；〃　Zeffer　pointed　out。　〃He　wouldn't　do　it　for　you。〃
　 〃I　know　that。〃
　 Zeffer　followed　her　to　the　kitchen　door。　〃So　don't。　Leave；　while　you　can。　Tammy；　I　beg　you。　Leave。　I'll　lead　you　out　of　the　Canyon　and　you　can　go　home。〃
　 〃Home；〃　Tammy　said。　The　word；　the　idea；　seemed　hollow；　valueless。
　 There　was　no　home　for　her　after　this。　Or　if　there　was；　it　wasn't　the　one　she'd　had。　Arnie；　the　little　house　in　Sacramento。　How　could　she　even　think　of　going　back　to　that？
　 〃I　have　to　find　Todd；〃　she　said。　〃That's　what　I　came　here　to　do。〃　Without　waiting　for　Zeffer　to　lead　her　or　escort　her；　she　left　the　kitchen　and　went　to　the　top　of　the　stairs。　He　called　after　her。　Another　attempt　at　persuasion；　no　doubt；　or　some　more　fancy　story…telling。　But　she　ignored　him　this　time；　and　started　down　the　stairs。
　
　
　THREE
　 Katya　had　a　little　more　of　her　story　still　to　tell。
　 〃'My　life　is　worth　nothing；'　the　Duke　had　told　the　Devil's　wife。　He；　who　had　led　armies；　and　triumphed　in　his　crusades　against　the　infidel；　now　found　his　life　was　at　an　end。　And　why？　Because　he　chased　and　killed　what　he　took　to　be　a　goat？〃
　 〃'It　was　an　accident！'　he　said；　his　fury　at　the　injustice　of　this　suddenly　getting　the　better　of　him。　'I　demand　to　be　seen　by　some　higher　judge　than　you。'〃
　 〃'There　is　only　one　higher；'　Lilith　replied。　'And　that's　my　husband。'〃
　 〃The　Duke　met　her　cold　gaze；　the　profundity　of　his　terror　paradoxically　making　him　brave。〃
　 〃'There　is　a　God　in　Heaven；'　he　said。〃
　 〃'Is　there　now？'　said　Lilith。　'Are　you　certain？　I　saw　him　only　once；　the　day　He　made　me。　Since　then　He　has　never　shown　his　face。　This　is　the　Devil's　Country；　Goga。　My　Lord　Lucifer　rules　here。　Or　in　his　absence；　me。　I　doubt　your　God　will　stretch　out　his　hand　to　save　your　soul。'〃
　 〃'Then　I　shall　ride　out　of　here；'　the　Duke　replied。〃
　 〃'You　saw　what　happened　to　your　rade。　I'll　do　the　same　to　you；　before　you　reach　your　horse。　I'll　have　you　wailing　like　a　baby　at　my　feet。'〃
　 〃Goga　wasn't　a　stupid　man。　He　knew　there　was　no　use　in　contradicting　the　woman。　He'd　already　seen　one　of　his　men　horribly　slaughtered　by　her。　He　would　surely　follow　if　he　attempted　to　escape。　All　he　could　do　was　throw　himself　upon　Lilith's　mercy。〃
　 〃He　went　down　on　his　knees；　and　posing　himself　as　best　he　could；　he　addressed　her：〃
　 〃'Please；　gentle　lady；　listen　to　me。'〃
　 〃I'm　listening。'〃
　 〃'I　have　lost　children　of　my　own；　all　six　of　them　dead　by　the　plague。　And　my　wife　the　same　way。　I　know　the　pain　you　are　suffering；　and　I'm　sick　that　I　was　its　cause。　But　what's　done　is　done。　I　made　a　mistake；　that　I　bitterly　regret。　But　how　can　I　take　it　back？　Had　I　known　I　was　on　your　husband's　land　I　would　not　even　have　hunted　here。'〃
　 〃Lilith　looked　at　him　for　a　long　while；　assessing　the　worth　of　his　appeal。　〃'Well；　hereafter；　my　lord；'　she　said　finally；　'it　is　my　pleasure　that　you　and　your　men　will　hunt　here　always。'〃
　 〃Another　bitter　breath　up　out　of　Hell　to　acpany　these　words。　The　woman's　long　hair　rose　up　around　her　body；　a　few　of　its　strands　grazing　Goga's　upturned　face。〃
　 〃'Get　back　on　your　horses；　hunters；'　Lilith　said。　'Return　to　your　hunt。　There　are　boar　in　the　thicket；　waiting　to　be　driven　out。　There　are　birds　in　the　trees；　ready　to　be　shot　while　they　sing。　Kill　them　at　will；　as　it　pleases　you　to　do　so。　There　will　be　no　charge　for　your　sport。'〃
　 〃The　Duke　was　astonished　to　hear　this　mild　invitation；　after　all　that　had　just　taken　place；　and　thinking　perhaps　his　plea　for　clemency　had　carried　some　weight　with　Lilith；　he　very　slowly　got　to　his　feet；　thanking　her。〃
　 〃'It's　most　kind　of　you；'　he　said；　'to　invite　me　to　hunt。　And　perhaps　another　day　I　will　e　back　here　and　accept　your　invitation。　But　today　my　heart　is　heavy…'〃
　 〃'As　well　it　might　be；'〃　the　woman　replied。　〃'So　I　think　instead　I　will　return　to　the　Fortress　and…'〃
　 〃'No；'　she　said；　raising　her　hand。　'You　will　not　return　to　the　fortress。　You　will　hunt。'〃
　 〃'I　could　not；　madam。　Really；　I　could　not。'〃
　 〃'Sir；'　she　replied；　with　a　little　inclination　of　her　head。　'You　misunderstood　me。　You　have　no　choice。　You　will　hunt；　and　you　will　go　on　hunting；　until　you　find　my　son　a　second　time；　and　bring　him　back　to　me。'〃
　 〃'I　don't　understand。'〃
　 〃'A　second　time。'〃
　 〃She　pointed　to　the　corpse　of　the　goat…child；　which　lay　in　its　cooling　blood。　Her　hair　drifted　over　the　sprawled　cadaver；　lightly　touching　the　boy's　chest　and　stomach　and　private　parts。　Much　to　the　Duke's　astonishment　the　child　responded　to　his　mother's　caresses。　As　the　hair　touched　his　chest　his　lungs　drew　a　little　breath；　and　his　penis…which　was　disproportionately　large　for　one　his　age…grew　steely。〃
　 〃'Take　your　sword　out　of　him；'　Lilith　instructed　the　Duke。〃
　 〃But　the　Duke　was　too　terrified　at　this　scene　of　infernal　resurrection　to　go　near　the　boy。　He　kept　his　distance；　filling　his　breeches　in　fear。〃
　 〃'You　men　are　all　the　same！'　Lilith　said　contemptuously。　〃'You　find　it　easy　enough　to　drive　the　sword　in；　but　when　it　es　to　taking　it　out　you　can't　bring　yourself　to　do　it。'〃
　 〃She　stepped　into　the　puddle　of　her　son's　blood；　and　reached　to　take　hold　of　the　sword。　The　boy's　eyes　flickered　open　as　he　felt　his　mother's　hand　upon　the　pommel。　Then　he　lifted　his　hands　and　caught　hold　of　the　blade　with　his　bare　palms；　almost　as　though　he　were　attempting　to　keep　her　from　extracting　it。　Still　she　pulled；　and　it　slowly　came　out　of　him。〃
　 〃'Slowly；　mama；'　the　goat…boy　said；　his　tone　almost　lascivious。　'It　hurts　mightily。'〃
　 〃'Does　it；　child？'　Lilith　said；　twisting　the　blade　in　the　wound　as　though　to　perversely　increase　her　child's　distress。　He　threw　back　his　head；　still　looking　at　her　from　the　bottom　of　his　eyes；　his　lips　drawn　back　from　his　little；　pointed　teeth。　And　this？'　she　said；　turning　the　blade　the　other　way。　'Does　this　bring　you　agony？'〃
　 〃'Yes；　Mama！'〃
　 〃She　twisted　it　the　other　way。　And　this？'〃
　 〃Finally；　it　was　too　much　for　the　child。　He　let　out　a　hissing　sound；　and　spat　from　his　erection　several　spouts　of　semens…Its　sharp　stink　made　the　Duke's　eyes　sting。〃
　 〃Lilith　waited　until　the　boy　had　finished　ejaculating；　then　she　drew　out　the　sword。　The　goat…boy　sank　back　on　the　wet　earth；　with　a　look　of　satisfaction　on　his　face。〃
　 〃'Thank　you；　mama；'　he　said；　as　though　well　pleasured　by　what　had　just　happened。
　 〃The　wound　on　his　belly　was　already　closing　up；　the　Duke　saw。　It　was　as　though　it　were　being　knitted　by　agile　and　invisible　fingers。　So　too　the　wounds　on　his　hands；　incurred　when　he　had　seized　the　blade。　In　a　matter　of　perhaps　half　a　minute　the　goat…boy　was　whole　again。〃
　 〃So　if　the　child　wasn't　dead；〃　Todd　said；　〃why　was　the　Duke　guilty　of　murdering　him？〃
　 Katya　shook　her　head。　〃He'd　mitted　the　crime。　The　fact　that　the　boy　was　an　immortal　was　academic。　He'd　murdered　the　child；　and　had　to　be　punished　for　it。〃
　 Todd's　gaze　went　again　to　the　trees　where　the　Duke　and　his　men　had　disappeared；　picturing　the　look　of　hope　that　had　appeared　on　the　men's　faces　when　they'd　heard　the　sound　of　the　child's　cries。　Now　all　that　made　sense。　No　wonder　they'd　ridden　off　so　eagerly。　They　were　still　hoping　to　find　the　boy；　and　earn　their　release　from　the　Devil's　Country。
　 A　wave　of　claustrophobia　came　up　over　Todd。　This　was　not　the　limitless　landscape　it　had　first　appeared　to　be：　it　was　a　prison；　and　he　wanted　to　be　free　of　it。　He　turned；　and　turned　again；　looking　for　some　crack　in　the　illusion；　however　small。　But　he　could　find　none。　Despite　the　immensity　of　the　vistas　in　all　directions；　and　the　height　of　heavens　above　him；　he　might　as　well　have　been　locked　in　a　cell。
　 His　breath　had　quickened；　his　hands　were　suddenly　clammy。　〃Which　way's　the　door？〃　he　asked　Katya。
　 〃You　want　to　leave？　Now？〃
　 〃Yes；　now。〃
　 〃It's　just　a　story；〃　she　said。　〃No　it's　not。　I　saw　the　Duke。　We　both　saw　him。〃
　 〃It's　all　part　of　the　show；〃　Katya　said；　with　a　dismissive　little　shrug。　〃Calm　down。　There's　no　harm　going　to　e　to　us。　I've　been　down　here　hundreds　of　times　and　nothing　ever　happened　to　me。〃
　 〃You　saw　the　Duke　here　before？〃
　 〃Sometimes。　Never　as　close　as　we　saw　today；　but　there　are　always　hunters。〃
　 〃Well　ask　yourself：　why　are　there　always　hunters？　Why　is　there　always　an　eclipse？〃
　 〃I　don't　know。　Why　do　you　always　do　the　same　thing　in　a　movie　every　time　it　runs…〃
　 〃So　things　are　exactly　the　same；　every　time　you　e　here；　like　a　movie？〃
　 〃Not　exactly　the　same；　no。　But　the　sun's　always　like　that：　three…quarters　covered。　And　the　trees；　the　rocks。。。even　the　ships　out　there。〃　She　pointed　to　the　ships。　〃It's　always　the　same　ships。　They　never　seem　to　get　very　far。〃
　 〃So　it's　not　like　a　movie；〃　Todd　said。　〃It's　more　like　time's　been　frozen。〃
　 She　nodded。　〃I　suppose　it　is；〃　she　said。　〃Frozen　in　the　walls。〃
　 〃I　don't　see　any　walls。〃
　 〃They're　there；〃　Katya　said；　〃it's　just　a　question　of　where　to　look。　How　to　look。　Trust　me。〃
　 〃You　want　me　to　trust　you；〃　Todd　said；　〃then　get　me　out　of　here。〃
　 〃I　thought　you　were　enjoying　yourself。〃
　 〃The　pleasure　went　out　of　it　a　while　back；〃　Todd　said。　He　grabbed　her　arm；　hard。　〃e　on；〃　he　said。　〃I　want　to　get　out。〃
　 She　shook　herself　free　of　him。　〃Don't　touch　me　that　way；〃　she　said；　her　expression　suddenly　fierce。　〃I　don't　like　it。〃　She　pointed　past　him；　over　his　right　shoulder。　〃The　door's　over　there。〃
　 He　looked　back　He　could　see　no　sign　of　an　opening。　Just　more　of　the　Devil's　Country。
　 And　now；　to　make　matters　worse；　he　once　again　heard　the　sound　of　hooves。
　 〃Oh　Christ。。。〃
　 He　glanced　back　towards　the　trees。　The　Duke　and　his　men　were　riding　towards　them；　empty…handed。
　 〃They're　ing　back　to　interrogate　us；〃　Todd　said。　〃Katya！　Did　you　hear　me？　We　need　to　get　the　hell　out　of　here。〃
　 Katya　had　seen　the　horsemen；　but　she　didn't　seem　overly　unnerved。　She　watched　them　approaching　without　moving。　Todd；　meanwhile；　made　his　way　in　the　general　direction　of　the　door；　or　at　least　where　she　had　indicated　it　stood。　He　scanned　the　place；　looking　for　some　fragment…the　corner　of　the　doorframe；　the　handle；　the　keyhole…to　help　him　locate　it。　But　there　was　nothing。
　 Having　no　other　choice　he　simply　walked　across　the　stony　ground；　his　hands　extended　in　front　of　him。　After　proceeding　perhaps　six　strides；　the　empty　air　in　front　of　him　suddenly　became　solid；　and　his　hands　flattened　against　cold；　hard　tile。　The　instant　he　made　contact；　the　illusion　of　the　painters'　trompe　l'oeil　was　broken。　He　could　not　b