cb.coldheart canyon-第29部分

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　 He　took　the　short　passageway　down　to　what　Marco　had　dubbed　the　Casino；　an　immense　wood…paneled　room；　lit　by　a　number　of　low…slung　lights；　which　indeed　looked　as　though　it　had　been　designed　to　house　a　roulette　wheel　and　half　a　dozen　poker　tables。　Judging　by　the　distance　of　the　voice　it　seemed　the　likeliest　place　for　whoever　had　spoken　to　be　lurking。　As　he　walked　down　the　passageway　it　briefly　occurred　to　him　that　to　make　this　investigation　without　Marco　at　his　side　was　foolishness。　But　the　drink　made　him　bold。　Besides；　it　was　only　a　woman　he'd　heard。　He　could　deal　with　a　woman。
　 The　door　of　the　Casino　stood　open。　He　peered　in。　The　windows　were　undraped；　a　few　soft　panels　of　gray　light　slid　through　them；　illuminating　the　enormity　of　the　place。　He　could　see　no　sign　of　an　intruder。　But　some　instinct　instructed　him　not　to　believe　the　evidence　of　his　eyes。　He　wasn't　alone　here。　The　skin　of　his　palms　pricked。　So；　curiously；　did　the　flesh　beneath　his　bandages；　as　though　it　were　especially　susceptible　in　its　newborn　state。
　 〃Who's　there？〃　he　said；　his　voice　less　confident　than　he'd　intended。
　 At　the　far　end　of　the　room　one　of　the　pools　of　light　fluttered。　Something　passed　through　it；　raising　the　dust。
　 〃Who's　there？〃　he　said　again；　his　hand　straying　to　the　light　switch。
　 He　resisted　the　temptation　to　turn　it　on；　however。　Instead　he　waited；　and　watched。　Whoever　this　trespasser　was　she　was　too　far　from　him　to　do　any　harm。
　 〃You　shouldn't　be　in　here；〃　he　said　gently。　〃You　do　know　that；　don't　you？〃
　 Again；　that　subtle　motion　on　the　other　end　of　the　room。　But　he　still　couldn't　make　out　a　figure；　the　darkness　beyond　the　pool　of　light　was　too　impenetrable。
　 〃Why　don't　you　step　out　where　I　can　see　you？〃　he　said　suggested。
　 This　time　he　got　an　answer。
　 〃I　will。。。〃　she　told　him。　〃In　a　minute。〃
　 〃Who　are　you？〃
　 〃My　name's　Katya。〃
　 〃How　did　you　get　in　here？〃
　 〃Through　the　door；　like　everybody　else；〃　she　said。　Her　tone　was　one　of　gentle　amusement。　It　would　have　annoyed　Todd　if　there　hadn't　also　been　a　certain　sweetness　there。　He　was　curious　to　see　what　she　looked　like。　But　the　more　he　pressed　her；　he　thought；　the　more　she'd　resist。　So　he　kept　the　conversation　off　the　subject；　and　casually　wandered　across　the　immaculately　laid　and　polished　floor　as　he　talked。
　 〃It　must　have　been　hard　to　find　me；〃　he　said。
　 〃Not　at　all；〃　she　said。　〃I　heard　you　were　ing　from　Jerry。〃
　 〃You　know　Jerry？〃
　
　 〃Oh；　yes。　We　go　way　back。　He　used　to　e　up　here　when　he　was　a　child。　You　made　a　good　choice　with　him；　Todd。　He　keeps　secrets。〃
　 〃Really？　I　always　thought　he　was　a　bit　of　a　gossip。〃
　 〃It　depends　if　it's　important　or　not。　He　never　mentioned　me　to　you；　did　he？〃
　 〃No。〃
　 〃You　see。　Oh　yes；　and　he's　dying。　I　suppose　he　didn't　mention　that　either。〃
　 〃No　he　didn't。〃
　 〃Well　he　is。　He　has　cancer。　Inoperable。〃
　 〃He　never　said　a　thing；〃　Todd　said；　thinking　not　only　of　Jerry　but　of　sick；　silent　Dempsey。
　 〃Well　why　would　he？　To　you　of　all　people。　He　idolizes　you。〃
　 Her　familiarity　with　Jerry；　and　her　knowledge　of　his　sickness；　only　added　to　the　puzzle　of　her　presence。
　 〃Did　he　send　you　up　here？〃　Todd　said。
　 〃No；　silly；〃　the　woman　replied。　〃He　sent　you。　I've　been　here　all　the　time。〃
　 〃You　have？　Where？〃
　 〃Oh；　I　mostly　stay　in　the　guest…house。〃
　 She　spoke　so　confidently；　he　almost　believed　her。　But　then　surely　if　she　were　occupying　the　guest…house；　Brahms　would　have　warned　Maxine？　He　knew　how　important　Todd's　security　was。　Why　would　he　let　Maxine　see　the　property；　and　not　mention　the　fact　that　there　was　somebody　else　living　in　the　Canyon？
　 He　was　about　halfway　across　the　room　now；　and　he　could　now　see　his　visitor's　outline　in　the　darkness。　Her　voice　had　not　misled　him。　She　was　a　young　woman；　elegantly　dressed　in　a　long；　silver　gown；　highlighted　with　sinuous　designs　in　gold　thread。　It　shimmered；　as　though　it　possessed　a　subtle　life　of　its　own。
　 〃How　long　have　you　been　staying　here？〃　he　said　to　her。
　 〃A　lot　longer　than　you；〃　she　replied。
　 〃Really？〃
　 〃Well；　of　course。　When　I　first　met　Jerry；　I'd　been　here。。。twenty；　twenty…five　years。〃
　 This　was　an　absurd　invention　of　course。　Even　without　seeing　her　clearly；　it　was　obvious　she　was　less　than　thirty；　probably　considerably　less。
　 〃But　you　said　Jerry　was　a　boy　when　you　met　him？〃　Todd　said；　thinking　he'd　quickly　catch　the　woman　in　her　lie。
　 〃He　was。〃
　 〃So　you　can't　have　known　him。。。〃
　 〃I　know　it　doesn't　seem　very　likely。　But　things　are　different　here　in　the　Canyon。　You'll　see。　If　you　stay；　that　is。　And　I　hope　you　will。〃
　 〃You　mean　buy　the　house？〃
　 〃No。　I　mean　stay。〃
　 〃Why　would　I　do　that？〃　he　said。
　 There　was　a　moment's　pause；　then；　finally；　she　stepped　into　the　light。　〃Because　I　want　you　to；〃　she　replied。
　 It　was　a　moment　from　a　movie；　timed　to　perfection。　The　pause；　the　move；　the　line。
　 And　the　face；　that　was　from　a　movie　too；　in　its　luxury；　in　its　perfection。　Her　eyes　were　large　and　luminous；　green　flecked　with　lilac。　Their　brightness　was　enhanced　by　the　darkness　of　her　eyeshadow；　and　the　thickness　of　her　lashes。　Neither　her　nose　nor　her　mouth　were　delicate；　her　lips　were　full；　her　chin　robust；　her　cheekbones　high；　almost　Slavic。　Her　hair　was　black；　and　fell　straight　down；　framing　her　face。　She　wore　plenty　of　jewelry；　and　it　was　all　exquisite。　One　necklace　lay　tightly　in　the　valley　of　her　throat；　another…much；　much　looser…fell　between　her　breasts。　Her　earrings　were　gold；　her　bracelets…several　on　each　wrist…all　elaborately　wrought。　Yet　she　carried　all　this　effortlessly；　as　though　she'd　been　wearing　a　queen's　ransom　in　jewelry　all　her　life。
　 〃I'm　sure　you　could　find　plenty　of　pany　besides　me；〃　Todd　replied。
　 〃I'm　sure　I　could；〃　she　replied。　〃But　I　don't　want　plenty　of　pany。　I　want　you。〃
　
　 Todd　was　totally　bewildered　now。　No　part　of　this　puzzle　fitted　with　any　other。　The　woman　looked　so　poised；　so　exquisite；　but　she　spoke　nonsense。　She　didn't　know　him。　She　hadn't　chosen　him。　He'd　e　up　here　of　his　own　free　will；　to　hide　himself　away。　Yet　she　seemed　to　insinuate　that　he　was　here　at　her　behest；　and　that　somehow　she　intended　to　make　him　stay。　It　was　all　pure　invention。
　 Still　she　didn't　look　crazy；　anything　but。　She　looked；　in　fact；　as　though　she'd　just　stepped　out　of　her　limo　at　the　Pavilion　and　was　about　to　walk　down　the　red　carpet　to　a　roar　of　adulation　from　the　crowd。　He　wouldn't　have　minded　being　beside　her；　either；　if　she　had　been　taking　that　walk。　They　would　have　made　quite　a　couple。
　 〃You　haven't　looked　around　the　house　very　much；〃　she　said。
　 〃How　do　you　know？〃
　 〃Oh。。。I　have　eyes　everywhere；〃　she　teased。　〃If　you'd　been　in　some　of　the　rooms　in　this　house；　I'd　know　about　it；　believe　me。〃
　 〃I　don't　find　any　of　this　very　forting；〃　he　said。　〃I　don't　like　people　spying　on　me。〃
　 〃I　wasn't　spying；〃　she　said；　her　tone　going　from　pleasing　to　fierce　in　a　heartbeat。
　 〃Well　what　would　you　call　it？〃
　 〃I'd　call　it　being　a　good　hostess。　Making　sure　your　guest　is　fortable。
　 〃I　don't　understand。〃
　 〃No；〃　she　said；　more　softly　now；　〃you　don't。　But　you　will。　When　we've　had　a　chance　to　spend　some　time　with　one　another　you'll　see　what's　really　going　on　here。〃
　 〃And　what's　that？〃
　 She　half…turned　from　him；　as　though　she　might　leave；　which　was　the　last　thing　he　wanted　her　to　do。　〃You　know　maybe　we'd　be　better　leaving　this　for　another　night；〃　she　said。　
　 〃No；〃　he　said　hurriedly。　She　halted；　but　didn't　turn　back。
　 〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said。　They　were　rare　words　from　his　mouth。　〃Truly？〃　she　said。　Still　she　didn't　turn。　He　found　himself　longing　to　feel　her　gaze　on　him；　as　though…absurd　as　this　was…she　might　go　some　way　to　filling　the　void　in　him。
　 〃Please；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　truly　sorry。〃
　 〃All　right；〃　she　said；　apparently　placated。　She　looked　back　at　him。　〃You're　forgiven。　For　now。〃
　 〃So　tell　me　what　I've　missed。　In　the　house。〃
　 〃Oh；　all　that　can　wait。〃　
　 〃At　least　give　me　a　clue。〃
　 〃Have　you　been　downstairs？　I　mean　all　the　way　down　to　the　bottom？〃
　 〃No。〃
　 〃Then　don't；〃　she　said；　lowering　her　head　and　looking　up　at　him　with　a　veiled　gaze。　〃I'll　take　you　there　myself。〃
　 〃Take　me　now；〃　he　said；　thinking　it　would　be　a　good　opportunity　to　find　out　how　real　all　her　claims　were。　〃No；　not　tonight。〃
　 〃Why　not？〃
　 〃It's　Oscar　Night。〃
　 〃So？〃
　 〃So　it's　got　you　all　stirred　up。　Look　at　you。　You　think　you　can　drink　the　pain　away？　It　doesn't　work。　Everyone　here's　tried　that　at　some　point　or　other…〃
　 〃Everyone？〃
　 〃In　the　Canyon。　There　are　a　lot　of　people　here　who　are　feeling　exactly　like　you　tonight。〃
　 〃And　how's　that？〃
　 〃Oh；　just　wishing　they'd　had　a　few　prizes　for　their　efforts。〃
　 〃Well　they　don't　give　Oscars　to　actors　like　me。〃
　 〃Why　not？〃
　 〃I　guess　they　don't　think　I'm　very　good。〃
　 〃And　what　do　you　think？〃
　 He　mused　on　this　for　a　moment。　Then　he　said：　〃Most　of　the　time　I'm　just　being　me；　I　guess。〃
　 〃That's　a　performance；〃　Katya　said。　〃People　think　it's　easy。　But　it's　not。　Being　yourself。。。that's　hard。〃
　 It　was　strange　to　hear　it　put　that　way；　but　she　was　right。　It　wasn't　easy；　playing　yourself。　If　you　let　your　attention　drop　for　a　moment；　there　was　nothing　there　for　the　camera　to　look　at。　Nothing　behind　the　eyes。　He'd　seen　it；　in　his　own　performances　and　in　those　of　others：　moments　when　the　concentration　lapsed　for　a　few　seconds　and　the　unforgiving　lens　revealed　a　vast　vapidity。
　 〃I　know　how　it　hurts；〃　she　said；　〃not　to　be　appreciated。〃
　 〃I　get　a　lot　of　other　stuff；　you　know。〃
　 〃The　other　stuff　being　money。〃
　 〃Yes。　And　celebrity。〃
　 〃And　half　the　time　you　think：　it　doesn't　matter；　anyway。　They're　all　ignoramuses　at　the　Academy；　voting　for　their　friends。　What　do　you　want　from　them？　But　you're　not　really　convinced。　In　your　heart　you　want　their　worthless　little　statues。　You　want　them　to　tell　you　they　know　how　much　you　work　to　be　perfect。〃
　 He　was　astonished　at　this。　She　had　articulated　what　he'd　felt　on　a　decade　of　Oscar　Nights；　an　absurd　mixture　of　contempt　and　envy。　It　was　as　though　she　was　reading　his　mind。　〃How　did　you　figure　all　that　out？〃
　 〃Because　I've　felt　the　same　things。　You　want　them　to　love　you；　but　you　hate　yourself　for　wanting　it。　Their　love　isn't　worth　anything；　and　you　know　it。〃
　 〃But　you　still　want　it。〃
　 〃You　still　want　it。〃
　 〃Damn。〃
　 〃Meaning　yes？〃
　 〃Yes。　That's　it。　You　got　me。〃
　 It　felt　good；　for　once；　to　be　understood。　Not　the　usual　nodding；　what…ever…you…say…Mr。…Pickett　bullshit；　but　some　genuine　prehension　of　the　mess　inside　him。　Which　made　the　mystery　of　its　source　all　the　stranger。　One　minute　she　was　telling　him　lies　（how　could　she　possibly　have　known　Brahms　as　a　child？）　the　next　she　was　seeing　into　his　soul。　〃If　you　really　do　own　this　house；〃　he　said；　〃why　don't　you　live　in　it？〃
　 〃Because　there　are　too　many　memories　here；〃　she　said　simply。　〃Good　and　bad。　I　walk　in　here　and；〃　she　smiled；　though　the　smile　was　thin；　〃it's　filled　with　ghosts。〃
　 〃So　why　not　move　away？〃
　 〃Out　of　Coldheart　Canyon？　I　can't。〃
　 〃Are　you　going　to　tell　me　why？〃
　 〃Another　time。　This　is　a　bad　time　to　tell　that　story。〃　She　passed　her　delicate　hand　over　her　face；　and　for　a　moment；　as　the　veil　of　her　fingers　covered　her　features；　he　saw　her　retreat　from　her　beauty；　as　though　for　a　moment　the　performa