cb.coldheart canyon-第20部分

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　 〃She　can't　see　yet；　Todd。〃
　 Burrows　said　something　to　his　nurse；　half　under　his　breath。　Todd　didn't　catch　the　words。　But　he　heard　the　gauze；　which　had　now　been　stripped　from　his　face　pletely；　dropped　with　a　wet　plop　into　a　receptacle。　He　imagined　it　soaked　with　his　blood；　shreds　of　his　skin　stuck　to　it。　His　stomach　turned。
　 〃I　want　to　puke；〃　he　said。
　 〃Shall　I　stop　for　a　moment？〃　Burrows　asked。
　 〃No。　Just　get　it　over　and　done　with。〃
　 〃Right。　Well　then　I'm　going　to　start　cleaning　you　up；〃　Burrows　said。…〃Then　we'll　see　how　you're　healing。　I　must　say；　it's　looking　very　good　so　far。〃
　 〃I　want　Maxine　to　take　a　look。〃
　 〃In　a　minute；〃　Burrows　said。　〃Just　let　me…〃
　 〃Now；〃　Todd　said；　nausea　fueling　his　impatience。　He　raised　his　hand　blindly　and　pushed　at　Burrows。　The　man　moved　aside。　〃Maxine？〃　Todd　said。
　 〃I'm　here。〃
　 Todd　beckoned　in　the　direction　of　Maxine's　voice。　〃e　and　look　at　me；　will　you？　I　want　you　to　tell　me　what　I　look　like。〃
　 He　heard　Maxine's　heels　on　the　polished　wood　floor。
　 〃Hurry。〃　Her　step　quickened。　Now　she　was　close　by　him。　〃Well？〃　he　said。
　 〃To　be　honest；　it's　hard　to　tell　till　he…〃
　 〃Christ！　I　knew　it！　I　fucking　knew　it！　He　fucked　me　up！〃
　 〃Wait；　wait；〃　Maxine　said。　〃Calm　down。　A　lot　of　it's　just　the　ointments　he　put　on　you。　Let　him　clean　it　off　before　we　get　hysterical。〃　Todd　reached　out　to　her。　She　caught　hold　of　his　hand。　〃It's　going　to　be　okay；〃　she　said；　though　her　grip　was　clammy。　〃Just　be　patient。　Why　can't　men　be　patient？〃
　 〃You're　not　patient；〃　he　reminded　her。
　 〃Just　let　him　work；　Todd。〃
　 〃But　you're　not。　Admit　it。〃
　 〃All　right。　I'm　not　patient。〃
　 Burrows　set　to　work　again；　meticulously　swabbing　around　Todd's　eyes；　cleaning　his　gummed　lashes。　The　stink　of　cleaning　fluid　was　sharp　in　his　nostrils；　his　sinuses　ran；　and　his　eyes；　when　he　finally　opened　them；　were　awash。
　 〃Wele　back；〃　Maxine　said；　unknitting　her　fingers　from　his；　as　though　a　little　embarrassed　by　the　intimacy。　It　took　a　couple　of　minutes　for　Todd's　sight　to　clear；　and　another　two　for　his　eyes　to　bee　accustomed　to　the　dimmed　light　in　the　room。　But　part　by　part；　face　by　face；　the　world　came　back　to　him。　The　large；　half…blinded　window；　and　the　rain…lashed　deck　beyond　it。　The　expensive　ease　of　the　room；　the　Indian　rug；　the　leather　furniture；　the　Calder　mobile；　in　yellow；　red　and　black；　which　hung　below　the　sky…light。　Burrows'　knitted　brow；　and　fixed；　nervous　smile。　The　nurse；　a　pretty　blonde　woman。　And　finally　Maxine；　her　face　ashen。　Burrows　moved　away；　like　a　portrait　painter　stepping　back　from　a　canvas　to　check　the　effect　he'd　achieved。
　 〃I　want　to　see；〃　Todd　said　to　him。
　 〃Give　yourself　a　minute；〃　Maxine　said。　〃Are　you　still　feeling　sick？〃
　 〃Why？　Is　it　going　to　make　me　heave？〃
　 〃No；〃　she　said。　He　almost　believed　her。　〃You　just　look　a　little　puffy；　that's　all。　And　a　little　raw。　It's　not　so　bad。〃
　 〃You　used　to　be　such　a　good　liar。〃
　 〃Really；〃　she　insisted。　〃It's　not　so　bad。〃
　 〃So　let　me　look。〃　Everyone　in　the　room　remained　still。　〃Will　somebody　get　me　a　mirror？　Okay…〃　He　started　to　push　himself　up　out　of　the　chair。　〃I'll　get　one　myself。〃
　 〃Stay　where　you　are；〃　Maxine　said。　〃If　you　really　want　to　see。　Nurse？　What's　your　name？〃
　 〃Karyn。〃
　 〃Go　up　into　the　bedroom；　and　you'll　find　a　little　hand　mirror　there　on　the　vanity。　Bring　it　down。〃
　 It　seemed　to　Todd　the　girl　took　an　eternity　to　fetch　the　mirror。　While　they　waited；　Burrows　stared　out　at　the　rain。　Maxine　went　to　refresh　her　stinger。
　 Finally；　the　girl　returned。　Her　eyes　were　on　Burrows；　not　on　Todd。
　 〃Tell　her　to　give　it　to　me；〃　Todd　said。
　 〃Go　on；〃　Burrows　said。
　 The　nurse　put　the　mirror　into　Todd's　hand。　He　took　a　deep　breath；　and　looked　at　himself。
　 There　was　a　moment；　as　his　eyes　fixed　on　his　reflection；　when　reality　fluttered；　and　he　thought：　none　of　this　is　real。　Not　the　room；　nor　the　people　in　it；　nor　the　rain　outside；　nor　the　face　in　the　mirror。　Especially　not　the　face　in　the　mirror。　It　was　a　figment；　fluttering　and　fluttering　and…
　 〃Jesus。。。〃　he　said；　like　Duncan　McFarlane；　〃look　at　me…〃
　 The　strength　in　his　hand　failed　him；　and　the　mirror　dropped　to　the　ground。　It　fell　face　down。　The　nurse　stooped　to　pick　it　up；　but　he　said：　〃No。　Leave　it。〃
　 She　stepped　away　from　him；　and　he　caught　a　look　of　fear　in　her　eyes。　What　was　she　afraid　of？　His　voice；　was　it？　Or　his　face？　God　help　him　if　it　was　his　face。
　 〃Somebody　open　the　blinds；〃　he　said。　〃Let's　get　some　light　in　here。　It's　not　a　fucking　funeral。〃
　 Maxine　went　to　the　switch；　and　flipped　it。　The　mechanism　hummed；　the　blind　rose；　showing　him　an　expanse　of　rain…soaked　deck；　some　furniture；　and　beyond　the　deck　the　beach。　One　solitary　jogger…probably　some　famous　fool　like　himself；　determined　to　preserve　his　beauty　even　in　the　pouring　rain…was　trudging　along　the　shore；　followed　by　two　bodyguards。　Todd　got　up　from　his　chair　and　went　to　the　window。　Then；　despite　the　presence　of　strangers；　he　lay　his　hand　against　the　cold　glass　and　began　to　weep。
　
　
　FOUR
　 Burrows　had　brought　both　painkillers　and　tranquilizers　that　Todd　supplemented　with　a　large　order　from　Jerome　Bunny；　a　ratty　little　Englishman　who'd　been　his　supplier　of　illicit　pharmaceuticals　for　the　last　four　years。　Under　their　influence；　Todd　spent　the　next　twenty…four　hours　in　a　semi…somnambulant　state。
　 The　rain　was　unrelenting。　He　sat　in　front　of　Maxine's　immense　television　screen　and　watched　a　succession　of　images　of　other　people's　pain…houses　gone；　families　divided…dreamily　wondering　if　any　of　them　would　exchange　their　misery　for　his。　Every　now　and　then　a　memory　of　the　visage　he'd　seen　in　the　mirror…vaguely　resembling　somebody　he'd　known；　but　horribly　wounded；　filled　with　pus　and　blood…would　swim　up　before　him；　and　he'd　take　another　pill；　or　two　or　three；　and　wash　it　down　with　a　shot　of　single　malt；　and　wait　for　the　opiates　to　drive　the　horror　off　a　little　distance。
　 The　new　dressings　Burrows　had　put　on；　though　as　promised　they　indeed　left　his　eyes　uncovered；　were　still　oppressive；　and　more　than　once　Todd's　hands　went　up　to　his　face　unbidden；　and　would　have　ripped　the　bandages　off　had　he　not　governed　himself　in　time。　He　felt　grotesque；　like　something　from　a　late…night　horror　movie；　his　face…which　had　been　his　glory…　bee　some　horrible　secret；　festering　away　beneath　the　bandages。　He　asked　Maxine　what　movie　it　was…some　Rock　Hudson　weepie…in　which　a　man　was　covered　up　this　way。　She　didn't　know。
　 〃And　stop　thinking　about　yourself　for　a　while；〃　she　said。　〃Think　about　something　else。〃
　 Easily　said；　the　trouble　was　thinking　about　himself　came　naturally　to　him。　In　fact；　it　had　bee　second…nature　to　him　over　the　years　to　put　all　other　considerations　out　of　sight：　to　care　only　about　Todd　Pickett；　and　（on　occasion）　Dempsey　Not　to　have　done　so　would　have　meant　a　diminution　of　his　power　in　the　world。　After　all；　he'd　been　playing　a　game　which　only　the　truly　self…obsessed　had　a　chance　of　victory。　All　others　were　bound　to　fall　by　the　wayside。　Now；　when　it　would　have　been　healthier　to　direct　his　attention　elsewhere；　he'd　simply　lost　the　knack。　And　he　had　no　dog　by　his　side　to　love　him　for　being　the　boss；　whatever　the　hell　he　looked　like。
　 Late　in　the　day　Maxine　came　back　from　her　visit　to　the　Hideaway；　as　she　had　now　dubbed　it；　with　some　good　news。　The　house　in　the　hills　was　just　as　Jerry　Brahms　had　advertised。
　 〃It's　the　only　house　in　the　canyon；〃　she　said。　〃Which　canyon？〃
　 〃I　don't　even　think　it's　got　a　name。〃
　 〃They've　all　got　names；　for　God's　sake。〃
　 〃All　I　can　tell　you　is　that　it's　somewhere　between　Coldwater　and　Laurel。　To　be　perfectly　honest　I　got　a　little　lost　following　Jerry　up　there。　He　drives　like　the　Devil。　And　you　know　my　sense　of　geography。〃
　 〃Who　does　the　house　belong　to？〃
　 〃Right　now　it's　practically　empty。　There's　some　old　stuff　in　there…looks　like　it　goes　back　to　the　fifties；　maybe　earlier…but　nothing　you'd　want　to　use。　I'll　have　Marco　choose　some　furniture　from　the　Bel　Air　house　and　move　it　over。　Get　you　fortable。　But　really　it's　ideal　for　what　we　need　right　now。　By　the　way；　Ms。　Bosch　has　been　calling　my　office。　She　got　quite　pushy　with　Sawyer。　She's　absolutely　certain　you're　in　Hawaii　screwing　some　starlet。〃
　 〃If　that's　what　she　wants　to　think。〃
　 〃You　don't　care？〃
　 〃Not　right　now。〃
　 〃You're　certain　you　don't　want　to　see　her？〃
　 〃Christ。　See　her？　No；　Maxine。　I　do　not　want　to　see　her。〃
　 〃She　was　pretty　upset。〃
　 〃That's　because　she　wanted　a　part　in　Warrior；　and　she　thought　I'd　get　it　for　her。〃
　 〃Okay。　End　of　discussion。　If　she　calls　again…？〃
　 〃Tell　her　she's　right。　I'm　in　Hawaii　fucking　the　ass　off　anyone　you　care　to　name。　Manipulative　little　bitch。〃
　 〃So　here；〃　Maxine　said。　She　proffered　an　envelope。
　 〃What's　this？〃
　 〃They're　the　pictures　I　took　of　the　Hideaway。〃
　 He　took　the　envelope。　〃It'll　be　fine；〃　he　said　before　he'd　even　looked　at　the　photographs。
　 〃You　might　be　there　for　a　few　weeks。　I　want　you　to　be　fortable。〃
　 Todd　pulled　out　the　photographs。
　 〃They're　not　the　best；　I'm　afraid；〃　Maxine　said。　〃It's　one　of　those　throwaway　cameras。　And　it　was　raining。　But　you　get　the　idea。〃
　 〃It　looks　big。〃
　 〃According　to　Jerry　they　used　to　call　them　dream　palaces。　All　the　rich　stars　had　them。　It's　hokey；　but　it's　got　a　lot　of　atmosphere。　There's　a　huge　master…bedroom　with　a　view　straight　down　the　canyon。　You　can　see　Century　City；　probably　the　ocean　on　a　clear　day。　And　the　living　room's　as　big　as　a　ballroom。　Whoever　built　it　put　a　lot　of　love　into　it。　All　the　moldings；　the　door…handles；　everything　is　top　of　the　line。　Of　course　it　gets　campy。　There's　a　fresco　on　the　ceiling　of　the　turret。　All　these　faces　leaning　over　looking　down　at　you。　Famous　movie　stars；　Jerry　said。　I　didn't　recognize　any　of　'em　but　I　guess　they　were　from　silent　movies。〃　She　paused；　waiting　for　judgment。　Todd　just　keep　looking　at　the　pictures。　〃Well？〃　Maxine　finally　said。　〃Too　Old　Hollywood　for　you？〃
　 〃No。　It's　fine。　Anyway；　isn't　that　what　I　am　now？〃
　 〃What？〃
　 〃Old　Hollywood。〃　
　
　
　FIVE
　 Jerry　Brahms　had　been　a　child…actor　in　the　late　thirties；　but　his　career　hadn't　lasted　into　puberty。　He'd　been　at　his　'most　picturesque'；　as　he　like　to　put　it；　at　the　age　of　nine　or　ten；　after　which　it　had　all　been　downhill。　Todd　had　always　thought　of　Brahms　as　being　slightly　ridiculous：　with　his　overly…coifed　silver　hair；　his　mock…English　diction；　and　his　unforgiving　bitchiness　about　the　profession　to　which　he'd　once　aspired。
　 But　Jerry　knew　his　Hollywood；　there　was　no　doubt　of　that。　He　lived　and　breathed　the　place：　its　scandals；　its　triumphs。　He　was　most　informed　about　the　Golden　Age　of　Tinseltown；　which　coincided；　naturally　enough；　with　the　years　of　his　employment。　In　matters　relating　to　this　period　his　knowledge　was　encyclopedic；　as　he'd　proved　three　years　before；　when　Todd　had　been　looking　for　a　new　house。　Jerry　had　volunteered　his　services　as　a　location　scout；　and　after　a　week　or　two　had　taken　Todd　and　Maxine　on　a　grand　tour　of　properties　he　thought　might　be　suitable。　Todd　had　not　wanted　to　go；　he　found　Jerry's　chatter　grating。　But　Maxine　had　insisted。　〃He'll　be　heartbroken　if　you　don't　go；〃　she'd　said；　〃You　know　how　he　idolizes　you。　Besides；　he　might　have　found　something　you　like。〃
　 So　Todd　had　gone　along；　and　it　h